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Monday, June 6, 2016

The 4 Stages of Rebirth

I am in the process of career transition from a job that was very much a soul sucking and personally destructive environment to rebirth to find my new success.  As I was reflecting on this, today, I was thinking about something that I have seen, again and again, over the years.  The EXACT same principles that apply to relationships apply to jobs, and vice versa if you have the need to hear this relationship, wise.  And, over the years, I have learned 4 steps or stages that one must take to move from a very bad situation to their personal best success.  I present them, here, in context of career transition, but it is the SAME mentality that happened over the course of my transition from my ex to my future bride, and it is the same change in how I value certain friends and such.

1.  Do not wait for the good to leave the bad. 

I have seen this several times presented by some, and, really, it is just cowardice and allowing oneself to the accomplice to their own abuse.  There is a quote that says, "you cannot steal second with your foot on first."  (Frederick Wilcox)  This is a truth.  The first step in finding the good is to leave the bad.  Not only is it disingenuous to be pledge to someone or a job in which you do not believe will support you, but it is stealing your energy and your ability to be happy with yourself and have a clear enough head to start a new journey, without being driven by simply the desire to get away from the last one.  END the last chapter, before you start the new.

2.  Do not settle or surrender. 

There is always a temptation to go back to the earlier condition of abuse and misuse.  This is not out of value for the past but doubt for the future.  The same doubt will cause you to be tempted to settle.....just go to ANYTHING that will work, instead of what will truly make you happy.  The thing is, if you entertain either of these, you are sacrificing your own future happiness for the sake of convenience.  It is better to be happy alone than to continue repeating the past with a different face or a difference workplace. 

3.  Be happy to be you.

In order to KNOW how to be happy, you first must determine what you want to make you happy.  That does not mean....learning what you do NOT want, as defined by your ex.  Thus...the first point.  Get away from that environment and learn to be happy to just be you.  Learn what makes YOU happy.  Learn what you value in a man or a woman.  Get away from defining yourself through the eyes of your ex or your friends, but see yourself through the eyes of your own soul.  In the end, that is the only eyes that will matter.

4.  Find someone that appreciates you, as you are.
 
Then, once you have done that, you will recognize the RIGHT one, because they will value you for why YOU value you.  Then, you will please them, simply by being yourself, and they will WANT you to be YOU, not who they want you to be.  That, my friends, is the path to a happy relationship or a happy work life.  Does that mean that there will never be conflict or work.  Nonsense.  Anything of value takes effort and passion, but that work should lead to a goal that you desire and where you are not working alone.  Find the path that provides work you WANT to do, because, your heart calls out to do it.  Then, you will have peace in the work of your days and sweet sleep of your nights.

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