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Sunday, June 26, 2016

Trust History - Let Go of Moments (good or bad)

Let me give you a piece of advice that will help you, greatly, to avoid problems.  It is not new advice.  I was going to quote it by saying that we are the sum of our choices, but searching for that quote I find that it was said by Eleanor Roosevelt, Wayne Dyer, Woody Allen, and many many others over time.  Why?  Because it is pretty basic information.  Who we are as a person, INSIDE, would affect the choices we made on the outside, so the outside is the best depiction of who a person is...not the words they say but the things they DO.  James 2:17 says that "faith without works is dead."  I think that people, often, overspiritualize Scripture and miss the common meaning, and this is one verse where they do it.  I don't think he was saying that SALVATION is not alive without action, he was saying that FAITH...if someone truly believed in something...would result in actions to accompany it.  For example, if you really believe you can succeed at work, you will put more work into it.  If you really believe you are lovable, you will seek out someone to love you.  Actions betray the truth of the unseen, and that goes back to the quote.  People can SAY things all day long, but the ACTIONS will show the truth of whether words are true, and they show when something is true, even if not said.  So, words are not a foundation, and actions are the only solid one.

Now, this has two separate applications that will help you.  First, when someone says they love you or support you or are your friend or whatever but does NOT show actions to indicate that, disregard the words.  This will protect you from being hurt by believing something is true on hope, rather than fact.  However, it works in the other direction, too, and that is where I want to focus for the rest of this post.  When you have a history of someone being there for you, expressing care for your wellbeeing, supporting you, doing things for you, or in other ways loving you, do not entertain thoughts of a MOMENT not being as you need. 

It is true.  We will not be there for each other all the time.  Sometimes people will be tired and exhausted or more focused on their OWN issues to notice the needs of the other person.  So, there WILL BE for all of us moments when we are in need but the other person is not there for us.  You gotta let those go.  Now, I am NOT saying that when someone is giving you a HISTORY of ignoring your needs it should be let go.  That goes in the other direction.  In THAT case, their GOOD acts must be doubted, until there is a history to back them.  What I am saying, though, is that if someone is not there for you, it does you no good to hang onto a grudge or remember that lack and block the reconnection when the other person IS rested and ready and begins to show affection and care.  In that moment, ask yourself, what is more important to you....being "right" about yesterday or happy, today.

In those moments,YOU have the power to decide how the rest of the day will go.  So, choose who you will be wisely.

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