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Friday, September 9, 2016

The "Shut Up and Take it" Crowd

This week I have been doing a lot of preparation for exiting my job and moving on to better and better for myself.  The move was initiated by an employee that is under me in the structure of this company that was dictating to me how she wanted things done and ignoring my direction (as manager) on placement of products, selling procedure, as well as my own initiative as manager to price the products and how to market them with signage.  Then, she started stealing sales and got some customer complaints, so I brought it up to upper management, only to have my complaints completely ignored.  They took no action against her for rule breakage, didn't counsel her to follow my lead as manager, and didn't even reply to my emails.  All of this only emboldened her to make smart ass remarks to me and to escalate her own way of doing things.  All of this...of course...led me to realize it was going to be HER way that things are done, while I was to be given the blame for the failure of her department.  She was going to dictate to me how I manage, so..I began my exit and told them up front that I was leaving.

I say all that to lead to this.  Over the course of the next week, rather than see them back their manager or even say...I understand, what I received was angry looks by co workers, upset tones of upper management, and a very negative reaction of the store's management structure.  Even as I began my exit, I located all the furniture in the system, did a new round of price reductions with new tags I placed,  confirmed all floor takes, priced new furniture, processed a customer refund, and did the whole next month's schedule.  So...of course...they were happy I was getting the department the most ready it had been in years, before I go, right?  Wrong.  If anything, the looks escalated, despite absolutely NOTHING being done wrong by me, except...wait for it...that I looked out for myself.

And, that is why this is the perfect illustration to the "shut up and take it" crowd.  This is not the first time that I have had to face this crowd in different areas of my life and by different groups.  It is, actually, very common, and it is one of my biggest bet peeves.  When I was first getting a divorce by my ex, who was treating me like shit and doing whatever she wanted with no concern for myself and abusing my good nature, I was told to shut up and take it, MANY times.  First, my EX wanted me to shut up and take it, till I got a divorce.  Then, she took the kids states away to her family and gave me very little time with my kids and made it very hard to afford to travel to see them with the child support she demanded in my under employment, but...she asked that I don't tell the kids that SHE was the reason I was not around them (shut up and take it).  Then, when she had mental problems and the children came to live with me, my ex, actually, filed a lawsuit to increase the child support I was paying her, even though she had NO KIDS living there, and I fought her back, legally, and got majority custody of them.  However, she wanted me to NOT TELL THE KIDS what she was doing, during the lawsuit, even when she SUED to ask to NOT pay child support (shut up and take it).  There have been many other such examples of this from my ex, but she was not the only one.  I have had my oldest daughter abuse my house, tuition money, support, driving, etc, but when I was protesting it, I was told to keep it quiet (shut up and take it).  Then, there was my sister who broke into my house and carried away all my things without calling to say anything about it, but the problem they had was that I said something about it (shut up and take it).  And, there have been many other examples.

In general, if anyone wants things to be kept quiet, it is usually a sign of a problem, and it is a sign of a place you should not be or a person you should not know.  People should want to be known for what they do, and, if people don't want it to be known, that means they ALREADY know they are in the wrong.  Also, if anyone is upset that you are looking out for yourself, wanting yourself to be happy, or are making wise decisions for your future, it is an indication that they don't WANT you to do those things, because they want to control you...self respect is a threat to abusers of any kind.

So, ignore the "shut up and take it" crowd can go fuck themselves, instead of fucking you.  They never warranted your concern for how they would feel, anyway.  They, obviously, don't have the same concern for you.  Ignore the haters, and go forward...to happiness.


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