The other day I was at a business and had to observe an employee having an exchange with a manager. Without giving any details, the employee was unhappy and complaining...loudly...about something. However, my point is not the unprofessional complaint, but...having some knowledge of the situation...the employee had been unhappy for a long time and had on MANY occasions had similar complaints. My point in this blog is not to address the validity or non validity of her complaints. What I thought was the post worthy point is to expand this into something that has often bothered me about a LOT of people in relationships, workplaces, and other personal situations... complaints vs action.
The whole time this woman was complaining to her boss...for the hundredth time...I was thinking...then quit. Just quit. Honestly, I would have fired her for the lack of a professional respect and mentality, but I was not a part of that squabble at her workplace. BUT, and there is the thing....at some point along the way, no matter what situation about which you are talking, the responsibility and the blame moves away from the person that is doing it to the person who is letting it happen. The FIRST time, you don't know it is going to happen...you are a true victim. The second time, you are still a victim but can be forgiven for not knowing it is a pattern. However, after some time passes, the person or business that is doing the wrong has established a HISTORY upon which you can define how that situation will continue to be. At that point, the blame falls solely upon you, if you are not taking actions to move away from that situation.
This is a picture of how my first marriage went down to divorce, and I am sure it describes how all marriages end in divorce (or a large amount of them). At first, you didn't see it coming. Then, you saw it, but you thought it was a random event and would change. However, at some point, the person being the victim realizes that it is not a random event but a personality characterization. It is who they are and will always be. At THAT point, I began the process of ending that harmful situation.
The same applies to workplaces...it has always struck me so funny how relationships and workplaces follow the SAME principles. However, it also applies to friends and even personal goals.
Goals? How does a relationship or workplace squabble relate to goals. Well, take physical fitness. I have a blog on this and this blog will be put on that blog, as well. It has become a commonly accepted (and mocked) reality that every Jan 1st people make "resolutions" to work out, but they never actually do anything about it. Indeed, we have become a VERY whining society that feels they are the victim of EVERYTHING that happens to them, and one of the basis of that assumption is that they have surrendered responsibility of their lives to GOD or FATE or whatever. If they want something, they pray and do nothing and wait to see if God will give it to them. It is very much just the gambling mentality, common to church goers...they go to church, tithe, pray and say...come on....prosperity, as they roll the dice on God. Well, the solution to this mentality of goal setters is the same as the advice you give to gamblers. It is a BETTER use of your time, instead of sitting on the ground in prayer, to be standing and taking action specifically geared to bring about the success you want. You want to be in shape...get off your ass and work out. You want more money, get a fking job. You want to get better...take medicine. DO something....as Benjamin Franklin is famous for saying, "God helps those who help themselves."
So, stop for a moment. Contemplate your life. Is it how you desire it to be? If not, what are you doing to fix it. If the answer to that is nothing, then you should be saying nothing, as well. Either get used to and happy with being without, or take action for a better tomorrow. It is up to you.