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Thursday, August 17, 2017

Do We NEED all Genders in Raising a Child?

And for my second act of poking the bear, let me challenge an assumption in society that says it is important to raise a child with TWO genders of parents raising them.

I grew up with one a-hole of a dad.  He was a carpenter, and he liked to drag us onto job sites and hunting and fishing.  He drove a truck.  He was one of 12 kids by his father.  He liked football, and he had a 22 gauge rifle.

But, what I remember about my dad was not any of that.  What I remember from him was someone that would come in from work, sit in his chair and yell at us, if we got in the way of his tv time.  I, also, remember him whipping us with his leather belt, if we did anything embarrassing to him, like when I put gum in a song book at church.  I remember that he NEVER said he loved me or was proud of me but always criticized me.  Finally, I remember finding excuses to be out of the house, so I wouldn't have to be around him.

Now....SOCIETY would tell you that it was important for me to experience the FEAR and depression that came from living in that house....that somehow living with him was a cause of the person I would become.  The ONLY way that that could be true is if I compare him to a dead virus that, when injected into me, caused my immune system to be able to detect and defeat all similar infections in my life from that point, forward.  But, hey...he was a MAN, and indeed he was.  The characteristic of a male person that is cold, aggressive, punishing, sports fan, hunter is VERY popular in the world, today.  But, does it benefit a CHILD to be exposed to it?  I thank God I am NOT that much of a MAN with my family and child.

Now, men are not the only example I could give, and there are many stories that others could give of their mother's influence on their lives that were destructive.  I can just point to my own experience to ask a simple question.  Is it a FACT that both genders  add something of value to their children, or is it a quaint little saying that anti-divorce preachers started saying to keep dysfunctional families living in agony, when they could find peace and happiness by moving on to others that DO benefit them...and not necessarily of a different gender or even a different sex.  If you don't know the difference, I encourage you to google gender and sex. 

I, myself, found a similar gender in the opposite sex, because I don't it into the male "box" very well, and ...well...my kids are not missing anything, and I couldn't be happier.  No.  Kids don't HAVE to have brooding fathers that punish and fight and command, and they don't HAVE to have examples of the moral failures some women do, either.  What they DO need is a parent or parents that LOVE them, and that is the key to happiness in the family and their development to becoming happy adults.

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