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Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Watch Actions, Not Words, to find Happiness

Three is a scene in We Bought a Zoo, where the zoo owner's son was talking to the lady zoo manager, and she asking him how things are going with the girl that liked him.  He said he doesn't know how to talk to girls, and the manager said...

"...talking to girls is easy. They'll tell you everything. The secret to talking is listening"

Now, what she MEANT was not listening to words, as Lily had said nothing.  She meant....ACTION.

Over the course of the last few years, I have made a change in my life to stop spending time and energy upon those that did not do the same to me...like the mother and sister who had not visited my home in 3 years, despite living nearby or emailed to ask how I was doing... or even expressed any concern or assistance in my visits to them. Or, there is the older daughter that crashed at my house for 2 years, without ever contributing in chores or finances, even as I was spending two hours a day taking her to college for her classes....yet she never once texted me to ask how I was doing or inquired about my job or made any concessions for my schedule.

So, when both of these groups got upset because I no longer were there for them (having pulled back to give myself time), it was time to break the contact, rather than let them emotionally abuse me to their own ends.

Family is not about blood, and friendship is not a social media contact. Both are defined in actions, not words. Always remember this. Someone can say that they care about you, or they can show that they care about you.  If they show it, they don't need to say it; but, if they say it without showing it, it is twice as bad. However, the truth is found in what you can see. 

Now, there are people of faith that are telling you at times that faith is believing without seeing. However, that is not true and not biblical.  Faith must be based in what is real, and what is real can be seen.  Like God, I may be able to see love, but I can see the effects of it. And even in scripture, it cautions us faith that without works is dead... which is an old language way of saying if you can't see it or the effects of it, it isn't real. Also, Jesus told us that we are to judge people by their fruit, which is actions.  Many that call themselves Christians should consider that. If they hate instead of love.

So, if you're in a situation where you're just not sure how to think about someone, plug your ears and watch their actions.  If the actions do not justify your response, stop giving it. You deserve that. Respect yourself, even if they do not give you that respect.  That is a human right, and THAT is a truth you need to apply, if you would make your life happy.

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