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Saturday, September 9, 2017

Forward From Narcissists

The other day I saw something online that I had not heard, before  Did you know that Narcissists get their name from a mythological character?  It is named after a figure called Narcissus, who was the son of a Greek god.  He saw his reflection in a pool and fell in love with himself.  He couldn't bear to leave himself, and so he stayed there and died.

It seems that we have an epidemic of narcissists in the world, today.  I think that there have always been a large number of them in the world, but I have noticed it more and more over the last decade... but, then, it was in the last decade that I learned to respect myself enough to not be used, so it could be that I am NOTICING it more and more.

Since the beginning of this blog, I have been trying to promote that self esteem and awareness in others, as it IS the key to happiness to KNOW what makes you happy and to FOLLOW it.  I have spent way too many years toiling away my life for those that do not respect me or even notice that I exist apart from them, whether that be relationship-wise or work-wise.

And, that is what sets a narcissist apart from someone that wants to harm you.  They don't even NOTICE you, because they are too busy looking at their own reflection or fixed on what others think of them.  When you find yourself having to have many, many conversations of telling the other person your needs or wants, only to have them completely forget by the next morning...or hear "I didn't MEAN to do that to you" a lot, you might be with a narcissist.

Indeed, narcissists DON'T mean to harm you.  It just never occurs to them to be GOOD to you.  There is a song in my most recent running playlist for my fitness profile... @runlifekwc on instagram or twitter...that both my wife and I both liked when we started dating each other and applied to our romance.  It is Good for You by Selena Gomez.  In part of it, she sings,

"I just wanna look good for you, good for you
Let me show you how proud I am to be yours"

But, that is something that a narcissist would not do...take time to make themselves look good or do other actions or give other gifts to make the other person feel happy, because a narcissist is too busy thinking about themselves and what they want to be happy.

If you are in a relationship with someone like this, or you work for one, don't feel you are doing them any favor to stick around...your sacrifice is only hurting yourself.  They don't notice you when you are present, and they will ONLY notice themselves getting less when you are gone.  However, it is your life.  So, think about what you need to be happy and follow it, because those that really care for you will want you to have that and the rest just don't matter.

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