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Wednesday, September 13, 2017

It Isn't That It Isn't

There's a phrase that I heard of been to New England a lot that I used to hate to hear, but later came to fully accept. It is that it is... Which is to say that some things just can't be changed.

Now when I was a young hothead ready to set the world on fire, I didn't believe that anything was beyond my power to change.  Indeed, throughout the world there are many motivational speakers, preachers, and inspirational memes that convey the message that your only limitation is yourself.

While that's catchy, it's dangerously deceptive, as there are many things that are beyond our control. Some things just are that they are... Or more importantly, they are not that they are not.

And, I think that's where the most dangerous deception comes into play.  There are many people who will play upon your hopes and desires to have things and situations and tell you that you can have it if you just believe. And while I fully agree with pursuing your dreams and reaching the furthest that you can go, it is not wise to deny reality. There are real limitations upon all of us, whether that be physical monetary or otherwise.  Only when you recognize your limitations, can you find alternative means to reach your goals.

For example, a man .. no matter how maternal...will never have a baby through their body.  However, they can adopt and reach that goal.  Someone with a back injury should not try running to get into shape.  However, there are other means of fitness they are able to use.

As I look back over the events, jobs, and people that have been the biggest disappointments in my life, it wasn't the lack of "faith" or determination that caused the ultimate depression.  It was my lack of REALITY, particularly on the part of what I expected from others.

In the movie Bruce Almighty, there is a scene where Jim Carrey is frustrated and talking to Morgan Freeman, after he had been given the power of God by God as a lesson.  He asked God, "How do you make people love you, if you can't affect free will?"  Of course, God didn't have an answer to that either, because you can't...and more important, you shouldn't be trying.

I accept my part in the failures of the past, and the biggest failure I see in all of them is exactly what I am trying to help you to learn, accept failure.  Even a toddler learns that a square peg won't go through a round hole, but we get to be an adult and we say....BY GOD IT WILL IF I FORCE IT.  However, how do you think the peg feels about would you feel about it?

The solution to a happy life is not having a life free of failures.  Every one fails.  Even Thomas Edison failed hundreds of times in making a lightbulb.  The secret of success and happiness is learning what fails QUICKLY so as to find another person, job, or method that WILL lead you to a truly happy life, before you get to the end of a life of misery and find no one handing out awards for their suffering.

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