Monday, August 27, 2018

Diary - 8-27-18

I've decided to start a daily diary on this blog, because I am not using it for anything, except the occasional product pick, and it is not associated with the other two that I am more active, daily.  On the one, I am writing under a female penname, as fits my nature, and establishing a feminine world on that page.  On the other, I am highlighting Republican threats, so we can bring this country back to FREEDOM.

However, as it true of the feminine kinda person I am, sometimes, you just want to vent and process.  I HAVE to do that, at times, in ORDER to work through it.

So, here we go....in no order and covering a lot.

The writing projects have been fun, penning my female characters out of pieces of my own past and who I wish I could be, and they are really good books.  To be non-humble, I am learning I am pretty good at that.  However, I determined that it would take 3 YEARS to make any money book writing in the traditional way, so I self-published and am finding that is very hard to make it work.  Even listing my books at 99 cents, it is very hard to get them sold.  For example, I just released my second one, and with literally DOZENS of posts on 5 different social media platforms, I have not had a sale, yet.  The first book has only had a handful of sales, after weeks of promotion...some of it even paid. 

Meanwhile, I have started other methods of income, and they are starting to pay off.  For example, I am using Swagbucks, and I have made enough money in two weeks to buy a Christmas Tree for the family and do a little fall decor shopping.  It is really interesting that I spent MONTHS working my ass off trying to make money with book writing and affiliate sales to earn less in that time than 2 weeks of answering surveys and SHOPPING...that's right.  I buy things on ads with Swagbucks, and they award me more than I paid in points that can be exchanged for Amazon gift cards and etc. 

I was thinking about that, today, and it kinda made an impact on my whole perspective...in a positive way.  My whole life, I felt that I had to WORK HARD to make money, and I was raised to believe that the more money it made, the more miserable you had to be.  When I was being raised "as a man" by my cruel father and bully guy friends and soldiers (which should have been a clue), I was taught that a REAL MAN sucks it up and sacrifices his happiness, so that his WIFE and KIDS would be happy, and...even more... we were taught that they should NOT work hard.

Stop and think about that for a minute.  We were raised to think that to be a true man, you would be eternally unhappy, so that others could be happy and never face challenges.  Not only is that bad advice for MEN but it is bad advice for raising kids and unrealistic for women, as women often work harder than men at home.

But, here's the added kicker.  It's BULLSHIT.  Take the last few months example.   When I WORKED HARD, I made almost nothing from it.  However, when I looked for what other ways there were to make money, I found you could make money doing things like shopping, watching videos, answering questions about your life, etc.  Indeed, at another one I have used Amazon Mturk, the things I get paid for are very unique.  I often go there just to see what I will be doing next.... making notations of heads in a crowd, centering buildings for maps programs, testing web searches, etc.  It keeps it interesting.

Further, when I was WORKING HARD with my writing, I found I had almost no time to be ME at the house, and I found myself back in the SAME feeling I had at other jobs of being stressed all the time and not enjoying being at home with the kids, which ... as a FEMININE person SHOULD be MY CHOICE to do for my life.  I SHOULD be able to take a day off at the mall or go shopping or go to a salon or whatever.  Or, has equality fallen short to allow me to live that life?

So, I have decided that I am downshifting.  Today, in one of my Swagbucks tasks, I joined AARP, and I realized...well, why not.  I have worked my ass off my whole life.  It is about time I retired and started living MY LIFE for once.  I intend to stop trying to find my next career.  I am in it.  I am a homemaker, and I do odd jobs in the process to earn money, as all women do.  THAT is my life, from now forward.

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