Several thoughts this morning...
...I need to focus on my own life happiness, now, because I don't know how long my life will be and want to end it having allowed myself to become and be myself and be happy. I don't want to die with regrets of having not done that, whenever that will be.
...I am ending my plan to buy a house. First of all, it is unlikely given economic situation that I can come up with enough money to buy this house. However, I CAN come up with enough money to get me to Social Security age and continue renting with that, while allowing me money to live my life, now. Should something happen to me, the life insurance policy that I have on myself and my spouse will cover a lesser house for the other spouse.
...We will always have demons in our midst. For better or worse, I can do nothing about where I live for the next 7 years, so....unless I want to live bitter for that time...I need to start finding places and ways to have joy in their midst.
...While I live, my life will be MY LIFE, lived MY way, no matter how acceptable and approved that is by anyone else.