Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Why I'm Emotionally Secure While Others are Sexually Starved

I was watching Sex and the City with my love for our lunch time that we spend together, today.  It was the season 5 season finale, and it takes place at the wedding of two people getting married.  One of them was Nathan Lane, who incidentally did Broadway with Sarah Jessica Parker's real life husband, Matthew Broderick.  He was marrying a woman, and there was jokes throughout the show by different cast wondering how they could be getting married, since Nathan Lane's character was so gayish. 

I think that the most direct statement was made by Stanford's boyfriend, who said, "Maybe he makes her laugh."  That caused a pause by the crowd, and the final conclusion of the episode was that while they were all out there stressed over being unsatisfied with their "love" lives of sex, they were happy with the emotional connection that they shared.

I think that this episode probably had a lot of inspiration from Sarah Jessica's relationship with her own husband, and I can see it as a very true reflection of my own experiences in the past.  Like most people, I grew up thinking that you needed sexual passion to have a good relationship, even if I believed in my first marriage that you needed to find out if that existed AFTER you got married.  So, like others, I got married and expected fireworks, even though nothing would indicate that would be the case.  However, while taking that bet, I sailed right PAST the first and most important requirement in a relationship...a true connection with someone that respected, appreciated, and cared for the person INSIDE of the body.  So, that failed joining was destined for failure, before it ever began.

Now, I am the happiest that I have ever been in any relationship and in life with my current wife.  Why?  It's not the sex, not to say that the sex wasn't a necessary ingredient from the beginning.  However, that rush of different will eventually fade, and there must be something under it.  In my case, there is a LOT under it, as my wife and I both got married FOR the connection, instead of the sex.  We were more interested in making each OTHER happy, because we valued their happiness. 

Having that connection is EVERYTHING in relationships.  In my experience, if you have just sex, you will always walk around starved for everything that is lacking, while if you have that connection sex is just something that you take care of for each other or take care of yourself. 

Indeed, if you are emotionally starved, you are going to see a THREAT in every person that walks near them and every picture that they see, while having a close connection that feeds you sees little problem with them....taking care of business....if there is one reason or another that you can't at that moment...if you get my drift.

So, you decide.  What do YOU want in life...sexual satisfaction or emotional security and peace?  I am glad that I found the latter, and it makes all the difference.

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