Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Just Be You, No Matter the Cost

This is sort of a follow up to a post I just put on my revived blog about making money at home,, that is about my experience working in corporate culture at IBM and other places and what you can expect, when you work in that environment.  It is also about my decision to be more public about my transgender expressions, posting my painted toenails on my social media, as well as my experience with Appen that led me to revive that other blog with the post the other day and my decision to walk backwards to less paying options.

You gotta be you, no matter the COST.  There is a reason that I no longer work in corporate accounting, and I go into detail about that reason in my post on that blog, today.  Money does not always mean happiness, and much of the time it is an either/or.  You can EITHER be more happy or make more money...especially in a capitalist system, where time with family is seen as laziness and wealth is deemed "success" by our culture.

I have been poor and made more money.  I have had the "respect" of others (I put that in quotes because everyone is competitive), and I have been ignored.  What I have learned is that few are there for you, when you are down.  That is especially true if you exceeded them at some point, which caused them to be jealous of your success.  Then, they want you to fail.  However, I have also seen a community among the poor.  While the wealthy look for the chance to look down on you to elevate themselves, the poor empathize with you living their lifestyle, as matter how you happen to be.

There is also poor support in the capitalist world.  A recent example is my decision to move from doing smaller tasks like Swagbucks and Mturk and other apps to focusing on higher paying Appen.  Indeed, it DOES pay higher, but there is almost no project support or instruction or response to emailed concerns.  Right now, I am questioning if I will be paid for last month, and there is NO ONE to call about it.  So, I have determined that EVEN IF I get paid at this point, I am going to only accept minor tasks and spend my time where I LIKE to be and am respected, instead.

Your personal choices are another area where this applies.  The very IDEA that I would "come out" as a feminine guy that broke the stereotype to the "respectable" and "classy" middle class is absurd.  They would have the same reaction that many of those did to my divorce, when they were living in bad marriages as well.  They would feel, "If I have to be someone else and do all of this, you don't get to be free to do what YOU want to do, either."  I have seem SO many in those workplaces that were very obviously gay or hated being their determined gender or being in their marriage but would NEVER leave, because it would make them lose their status.  Among the poor....who cares about status?

In the end, you just have to be you, even if it pisses off those around you.  I would say BECAUSE it does, also, because it will illuminate who will be there for you, no matter what life choices you may choose in the future.

So, that is why I have started being more public about the feminine interests that I hold and expressions they may take, because I don't care if anyone objects.  Those that remain will be those I can trust, and that is worth finding.

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