Friday, May 3, 2019

Living Sustainably

For today's blog, I want to talk about living sustainably, and I don't meal living Earth conscious, even though we all should do that.  I mean...I want to talk about the need to live your life in such a way that you can continue doing that, without having to make radical changes, later.  I have made a LOT of errors in this to learn the lesson very well, so I thought I would contribute my life as analogy for what can happen.  You can find applications of this in every area of your life.

In my own life, I have made this mistake in many different ways....economically, identity, and relationship as major areas I will explore.

Economically Sustainable

I have talked about my devil card that I deal with in my life, referring to the Tarot card that indicates addiction.  For me, that addiction is the feeling that I need to earn a lot of money...the more money the better.  It appears to me, when I am comfortable in my life and start thinking that...if I just work a little harder, I can get more.  Then, that becomes....if I do a better paying task I can get more, even if I have to make a few sacrifices to get there.  Soon, I find myself submitting applications or doing jobs that I am UNABLE to sustain in the long term...resulting in my having to quit along the way or scale back drastically.

Sustainable Identity

For me, the financial part is joined with the gender stereotypes that have been thrust upon me, my whole life.  I am not a masculine person, but I grew up with everyone else trying to MAKE me to be that person and judging me, when I was not....even if they KNEW my personality from the start.  So, over my life, there were periods where I would do things like joining the military or getting an MBA or such to please those critics, only to find they were never fully pleased, and find myself being miserable.  As such, I have learned over my life that you need to learn to BE YOURSELF, whether others like it or not.  Only that will lead to sustainable happiness.

Relationships that You Can Sustain

Indeed, I have had my share...and other people's share...of making mistakes to please others that led me away from happiness, and that includes my first wife and other dating attempts.  I started dating them, and they started projecting what they expected from a "man" on me, which I would start trying to do to satisfy them....following a life history of doing the same to please the expectations of others.  In many ways, I learned how to look and act and be that would please them.  However, the deeper I got into the relationship, the more I became miserable and found my true self neglected.  So, I learned that I needed to be me from the start and only be with those that liked the real me me.  That is the kind of connection that can endure.

The Point

I think that everyone has those moments that they feel that if they just push themselves they can get more out of it, only to find that to be a mistake.  I have had many times where I tried to RUN longer distances or a faster pace only to find myself UNABLE TO MOVE for many days after it.  Guess which burns more calories...walking every day or a sprint followed by a week of not moving.  Similarly....yes, you CAN blow all of your savings on one purchase.  However, what are you going to do next week...or next YEAR when you need that money.

The point I have learned in my life is that to live a happy life, you need to live with not only balance but acceptance that more is not only better and a simple truth is more valuable than an abundant lie.  You can choose whatever path you want in your own life, but take a few minutes to consider the questions...Can I keep this up in the long term?  Would it make me happy?  If not, making a few difficult choices, now, can prevent a life of misery, later.

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