Friday, June 28, 2019

Forward Focused

I made an attempt over the last several months to live my life in such a way that would make me happier...living more feminine and relaxed, instead of living as "the man" whose main purpose was the make money, do physically exhausting tasks, and use threats and discipline to get things done.  I've BEEN that person.  I don't LIKE that person.

HOWEVER, the main lesson of the last several months is that it is impossible to be that person in my current situation or location...mainly location.  If we were living in more than half the states in this country, I could have accomplished this, as they would have accepted and respected my wishes.  However, Oklahoma will not change, anytime soon...and they are BUILT on the gender norms system of expecting money from "men" (those with a penis), whose entire existence is to be the caretaker of "women" (those with a vagina), who cannot be expected (in their mentality) to take care of themselves. 

Further, this area is BUILT on the expectation of men being a beast, and customer service is withheld, until they are threatened by a man.  Case in point...my wife's back issue.  They denied her home care, which led to an ER visit.  The ER was unable to do an MRI that they desired, due to SOONERCARE, which required us to go to the PCP (Primary Care Physician).  The PCP sent the referral to get the MRI, where Soonercare DENIED it, even though it was requested by doctors....UNTIL I BECAME A BEAST. 

They were content to screw us over, until I became angry and started calling everyone and FORCED THEM TO DO THEIR JOB, when they finally did cover the MRI.  Unfortunately, this is not isolated to this incident but describes MANY things I have experienced living in this area, where people do not provide customer service unless you make them.  I would move away, but the state of Oklahoma (despite having a system in place to allow us to move) required us to live in the Tulsa surrounding area (even though we followed their procedure), until 2026...when the last child leaves the house.

AND SO, in order to maintain a blog and radio station called FORWARD to HAPPINESS, the ONLY way to do that is to begin working overtime (living as they want me to look to avoid judgment) to earn as much money as possible to pay for...A> a house 3 years from now in the area to not have a rent cost to be able to save more and B> sell that house and use new savings to buy a house away from Oklahoma in 2026.  As such, my new social media profiles are called KenClifton2026, as THAT is the ONLY way to find happiness in my life.

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