New chapter of my work in progress at Wattpad...
Living For You
One of the hardest and biggest lessons that I have had to learn over my life is that you must live your life for you. The reason that this is difficult is twofold. First, society has a presumption that self sacrifice is a good thing. They consider it a virtue to be like Christ on the cross for all mankind. The only problem with that is that...well, Christ was KILLED and died, and those that killed him went on to live long happy lives, which is actually a pretty good analogy of what happens for people in their own lives as those that harmed them face no consequence while you are living wounded.
The other reason that it is hard to live for yourself is that many...not all...like myself do what they do for others, because they want to be noticed and appreciated for what they do. However, most people are so busy with themselves that they do not even NOTICE that you have a problem let alone want to solve it. Kids grow up and are busy with their lives, partners that were once hot in romantic interest in making you happy are focused on their own lives or are keeping a list of what you have not done for them. Employers that hired you for your impressive resume spends all day counting what you have not done for them, lately.
It is a very hard thing to do to break from the self sustaining cycle of failure that results from this. What we do is that we get fed up with how we are treated, so we start looking for the solution in others. However, those people will eventually end up doing the same thing. The law of entropy in physics says that thing fall apart...it begins whole and gradually separates till it falls apart. So, nothing remains, forever.
However, people say, "Well, it may not remain, but I will always have memories of the experience." To that I would say...really? How much of your day do you spend reflecting on what happened a year ago or a month ago or...YESTERDAY? Memories sound like a good thing, but the reality is that no one reflect on memories. They base their current feelings and conclusions on what is happening to them, right now. No one that you treated well, before, is going to praise you for what you did, today...or even acknowledge it. Even marriage counseling books say that you must keep that fire going and keep doing things to keep it going. The past does not count for almost anything.
Undoubtably, many are saying that I just don't know what I am talking about and will reject what I say, though they will eventually have to agree. I can only base my conclusions on what I have experienced, and I have experienced a life of sacrifice and giving and have seen no one remain dedicated interested in the end. All of it...fell apart, and this has been my observations of others, as well.
So, when you are living your life, I want you to think about something. How much of your day are you going to spend on a moment of sex or a experience? How long will the memory of that experience remain? Then, I want you to consider how much of your days you should spend seeking or focused on pleasing others, when it will occupy so little time and will quickly be forgotten. Since everyone else is focused on their lives and not you, should you not make that your main focus as well. Anything else will lead to a never ending cycle of finding the new person or group that will move on from you, as well, when you could have been doing so much more for yourself.