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Sunday, January 12, 2020

Mature Morals

I posted about this in the past, and I wanted to mention it, again.  Especially in the last few weeks, I have been reflecting on what we call "mature" and what we call "morals" in society and how they are often wildly distorted from practicality or reality.

Specifically as it relates to romance and relationships, we have a lot of presumptions and assumptions that do not hold water for "true love."  I do not say this out of bitterness or spite.  I say this out of observation and experience.

The reality is that people are not designed from long term relationships, and EVERYONE knows it.  I was watching a tv show this week that had a scene slipped in the thing I have talked about in regards to this.  Namely, it is KNOWN and ACCEPTED that people that have been married for a long time would have lost the spark of attraction and show less attention to each other and EVEN get used to letting their partner be attracted to someone else, either cheerleaders in games or men on romantic tv shows and books.  Then, they proclaim themselves moral examples of marriage "success" for STICKING IT OUT and feel they are due a reward for that sacrifice...because they didn't cheat in PERSON or end the marriage. 

 Everyone knows this.  No one disputes this.  No one is saying it is normal for romantic attraction to remain, after years of marriage.  An entire wing of counseling is based upon it NOT doing so and many books on the subject.  And, I am not saying that it is bad that they satisfy their needs, only that they proclaim themselves superior.

The fact is that people are people, and they want to be happy.  Is it really MATURE for someone to suffer along for a trophie?  It is MORAL for someone to grow more bitter from waiting on attention, which results in poor relations within the family?  Or, is is more mature to recognize the failures of the system an ALLOW people to meet their needs in ways that maintains the peaceful existence and personal balance.

Maybe we need to re-examine our judgments based upon standards that NO ONE FOLLOWS and start adjusting them to ones that actually work.  As long as no one is getting hurt, and those involved are willing adults operating out in the open, it seems a LOT more MORAL and MATURE to let them live their lives than to force them to live the bitterness of their critics.

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