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Forward to Happiness Radio

Forward to Happiness Radio

Friday, January 17, 2020

Seed Upon Hard Soil (false opportunities)

Sometimes, we condemn ourselves for things that were never possible at all, which can never be our fault.  If it is not possible, it is not possible.  Some "opportunities" were illusions, even if they were positively intended.  When that happens, we must recognize it and move forward.

This happens in both work and relationships.  Someone says that they want you, and they present themselves as being interested in you as  you are.  They present themselves as being open to you and hopeful about you.  However, upon beginning they begin being critical of you and closed to you.  After getting you by acknowledging your values, they soon ignore those values and notice the failures.  If you point it out, it is taken as an attack on them for not noticing, and after that point every good deed becomes a test of whether they do it or not.  If they do, they feel they are being forced to do it.  If they do not, it confirms the neglect.  This only ends one way....ending.

Unfortunately, I have determined that this is the natural progression of all relationships...both work and personal.  It has been my experience in both arenas.  The worker or person goes out to sow their seeds...hopefully putting forth effort to try to grow something.  However, the soil upon which the seeds fell was never open...just apparently so.  As Jesus says in his parable on the sower, this is a process that is doomed to failure, as the seeds develop no roots and are soon picked away by birds or blown away by wind. 

When that happens, there is no escaping the eventual outcome.  What are you gonna do...suddenly say, "No....don't worry.  I will NOT want to be noticed" or accept disregard in despair?  Everyone likes to be noticed, and they especially like their actions to please others acknowledged, as they are connected to their VALUE, as they came from the heart.  When the response inevitably is criticism, instead....how does anyone recover?

You could say...I'll just look for open ground upon which to sow.  However, my experience is that the cycle follows human nature and EVERYONE eventually takes their eyes off others to think about themselves and their needs.

This post is not meant to provide a solution on HOW to survive and avoid this outcome.  It is, instead, encouragement for when this happens to you.  It happens to everyone, eventually.  You are not worse off than others.  If others appear to not have the problem, they have just dropped their expectations for happiness or found it in others. 

Neglect happens.  The solution is not to expect otherwise.  Then, you will not be emotionally wounded or paralyzed to follow the path that leads to temporary happiness, somewhere else.

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