For my second post on this blog for the day (making up for lost time), I want to write about another key to personal happiness that I have discovered, and that is learning to celebrate your victories, instead of apologizing for them or hiding them.
that sounds odd...why WOULDN'T someone be happy that they did a good
thing? However, the reality is that many of us... most I would guess ..
fall victim to reasons to NOT do this. There are many reasons that we
have done it, and I will just give you a few of mine. See if any of
these ring a bell in your psyche.
1. You don't want to
feel prideful. This is actually one that is OPENLY taught in many
religions and schools of thought. Pride is suppose to be a BAD thing to
be avoided, and IF you find yourself feeling good about yourself, you
are supposed to do a penance or humble yourself. This...while we tell
people to feel good about their COUNTRY or their GENDER or their fitness
or their RELIGION, in fact. The reality is that they are not telling
you not to be happy about something. They just don't want you to feel
good about something that others do not have or choose not to exercise.
Pride is GOOD, and feeling it inspires you to do more good things for
yourself, instead of giving it all away.
2. You feel
it is your duty to make others feel good about themselves, so you hide
your successes they do not share. Have you ever seen how the person is
treated that breaks the curve on a test or how the employee that does
well is treated by those that slack off. They are ridiculed or worse,
all so those that did not apply themselves can feel better about
themselves. In a REAL way, this is being done across the country. I am
not saying that all the poor or those with less are not facing real
limitations or are lazy. However, SOME of them ARE that way, and it
does a disservice to those that ARE facing limitations to say that we
should all be limited as them, because THEY don't want to be limited,
either. If they COULD, they would be doing more or making as much money
for themselves as they could, and they want help to DO that, in fact.
They want to be "Christlike" to set aside what they have for others.
This one set me back for most of my life, even though IT IS FALSE in its
claim and its effect. There a reason that ministries that tell you
these things all build big buildings and get lots of assets for
themselves. Their "humility" is just another way that they desire and
are trying to see themselves BETTER than others. They DEFINITELY let you
know THEIR successes...like where they went to school or why THEY are
qualified to give you advice. However, Christ didn't ask his followers
to be Christ...HE was the Christ. No one else was qualified for that
position, and YOUR sacrifice won't save ANYONE from hell. Further,
Christ WOULDN'T have given up his glory, if he wasn't saving
someone...or it would invalidate his sacrifice and make him guilty of
their own sin of pride. Further, EVEN HIS FOLLOWERS worship him, daily,
and say he is coming back in glory....so... the figure we are to be
like is HAPPY about his successes, recruited followers to TELL OTHERS
about how great he is, and wants others to keep talking about it.
Ok...I'll follow that example.
I worked to earn not
only my Bachelors but Master's degree, all while raising two children
and caretaking a woman that had a mental breakdown. I paid the bills,
while I was schooling and caring and even applied for her disability so
she would continue being paid for in her expenses, AFTER I was not
present...even as I am NOW caretaking and paying to prepare my CURRENT
ex to care for herself and pay for her bills, after I am gone. I'd say
that is pretty damn virtuous, even IF I face criticism from not only the
audience but those receiving the care.
I went from
being the at home caretaking parent in 2008 to being an IRS Accountant
in 2010, a retail manager in 2012 (rising up from customer service to
shoe sales to furniture sales to furniture manager in 6 months), an IBM
Accountant in 2013, was hired off the temp agency faster than
allowed..causing IBM to have to pay Experis money to hire me from them,
was promoted to consultant in 2015, an accountant for Sutherland where I
was selected to be the tester for their new system and was offered 10
thousand dollars to stay, began as an at home worker in 2017 and within 3
years worked my way up to being able to pay for ALL the household
expenses from at home income (which is NO SMALL FEAT as anyone in that
role understands), etc.
But, lets back up. In high
school, I lettered in baseball and basketball, while I was on the Math
League team, won the school History Bee competition, won a county essay
contest, won the reigional science fair two years in a row, won multiple
academic contests in different subjects, was a newspaper reporter, was a
yearbook photographer, won several fair exhibits, and earned enough
money for my own car. Then, I graduated high honors, got an academic
scholarship, and worked at a job, while doing college, while ALSO being a
youth minister. As youth minister, I was selected to be the church
representative to the United Methodist General Council. As a movie
theater worker, I was promoted from usher to usher trainer and the
person who put together the movies and ran the projectors. Then, while
going to college, I was selected to be in charge of two student union
board committees, was selected to be the frat representative to the IFC,
and was selected to be a Resident Advisor.
Skip ahead a
little, and I was in the military, where I went from being a self
propelled gun driver to being the First Sargent's driver and training
room manager in less than two years. In the military, I was awarded two
battalion coins, battalion solder of the month, and got the Army
Now, let's skip back to the last ten
years, during which time I worked to BUY MY OWN HOUSE, ran several 5k
races, wrote several books, paid for my oldest daughter's schooling when
she failed out a semester and lost her aid, was a church greater and in
this year got certified for Quickbooks and faced losing my car for
income by applying and getting my current jobs.
say...I fucking rock, and I challenge anyone to say otherwise. I will
not apologize for all that I have done, the authority of experience from
which I speak, or my plan that will end with me in Florida, where I
will be able to see my daughter, lay on the beach on weekends, and spend
the rest of my years being happy about not only all the above but all
that will follow.