I have moved my posts from kennethclifton.com to this blog to start using this blog, again...it has undying traffic, anyway...no matter how long I go away from it.
However, when I watched the Ava Max video last night, it began a...well...I would call it detoxifying of my spirit and mind. For months, now, I have felt wounded, defensive, and incomplete. Further, I felt like a failure, and I began to move backwards to the person I used to be..the one that followed my father's advice to make money and the person who attracted people FOR that money and accomplishments, even if that was not who I WAS but who others said I should be.
If you have followed my blog posts over the last decade, you will see that I became someone that was confident in himself and sought personal realization and happiness over material wealth. I have discovered quite a bit about myself in those years and was moving in the DIRECTION of happiness. That is not a journey that should stop or end, just because I will be doing it, alone.
In fact...IF it were true that women would not be interested in me for being the feminine interest person that I have always been, women would be the WORST audience to determine my direction or future. Further, changing myself to please those that reject me is just ASKING for personal depression.
Happiness IS possible. It just may look different than I have thought. As I said in the last post, I need to bring myself with me, and I need to be open to change. If WOMEN, for example, are not attracted to my sensitive personality, maybe I need to try men. I am open to the possibility. Regardless, as I move forward toward my future in Florida, I WILL KEEP myself on the journey toward a Florida that I would LIKE, instead of making yet another mistake.
As such, I am applying to a few jobs FOR THE PURPOSE of earning enough money for a car to do rideshare driving since I like doing that. I may keep the customer service phone job, as well, since I like helping people. Then, I will take both of those to Florida and do them, there.