I feel I must follow up my last post with a counter point influence of what it is like to be judged by category. I know that almost everyone can relate to BEING judged by stereotypes, even if they continue to use them to define others. That is why I posted that last message..I am going to try NOT to do that, even thought I know I will continue to BE judged by category.
When I divorced my first wife, it was because I was neglected by her, which even she admitted in communication to me. My needs were ignored, while I was constantly dealing with her created issues. So, I left to protect myself and seek those that did value me.
And....then, I spent a half decade having to explain that publicly and to EVERY person I dated or communicated with on apps....because, if there was a divorce...of COURSE it was the man's fault. I had to PROVE I was a good person for being divorced, even though NO WOMAN had to do the same. Even my friends and family judged me, when I had to take custody due to the bipolar snaps of my ex...and had to explain to EVERY school and person I met why I had custody....because...how can we trust a man to do that... even if I had done it a LOT in the prior marriage, being the support there.
Move forward. Now, I am getting another divorce and it wasn't my idea, but I am respecting the decision of my wife....listen to the woman, right? She said she was an independent woman and didn't want me to do things for her, because it made her feel incapable...which cut me off at the knees for being able to do ANYTHING for her and led to the demise. Then she asked me to stop trying to fix the relationship.
Yet...here I am, again.... having to explain all of that to every woman or person that I meet, because AGAIN if there is a divorce, the man must be guilty.
THAT is what it is like to be judged by category, and I expect that to remain and continue. I took care of others and looked out for my health, and I will FOREVER be judged, and even when you explain things, they interpret even the explanation in light of the prejudice they have already selected.
You get why it might be easier for me to be gay...right? Now, I am going to hold out hope that not ALL women are led by prejudice and what happened to them, but I'm gonna be reserved until I see it.