First some back story for the uninformed..
Last November, my wife said that she no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me, and there were several reasons on both sides. I desired that she show me the kind of care and support and interest that I showed her. However, she saw everything I did for her as a debt or an indication of her inability, even though I had always willingly done things just because it was who I was and continued to tell her she would recover, one day. Further, AS she recovered, she still wanted her stuff to be her stuff, even as I had given so much.
When we got married, I sold my house to pay for the wedding and our beginning expenses, which I did because it made her happy, but that fact is now an offense to her, as well as ALL the expenses that I did for her in dates, gifts, and more...tho willingly accepted at the time. I have come to believe that relationships are a hole men put money into, as I have lost SO MUCH as a result of mine, over the years...including taking care of my daughter for 5 years without my first ex paying any child support.
However, AFTER my wife told me she wanted to be out of the relationship, I continued to pay at least and most months nearly all of the monthly expenses, over the last 8 months. When we got and split the tax refund, hers went to work equipment and mine...ALL THREE THOUSAND OF IT went to bills. Then, when I sold my car to pay for bills and when her income dipped over the months, I drained my savings, as well.
After all of that investment money was gone...almost to the week, she applied (at my suggestion) for an SBA loan and now has 4 thousand dollars...none of which is available to me.
Let me pause and say this... can you imagine how much money I would have had and how easy it would have been for me to move to Florida with my daughter, had I not been paying bills on a house where I was not welcome...for a family that I was not a part of?
In any case, now that she has that money, I will be taking all of my money from July and August that I make and putting it away. My OWN SBA application is in "duplicate status" error on their part that "could take a little time or a long time" according to the SBA rep. If it comes though, I will buy a car. If it does not, I will have enough money by the end of August for me to fly to Florida, pay for beginning housing or motel costs and getting and working a job, till and if my SBA money comes to pay for my car. When that does eventually happen, I will start driving rideshare and delivery for money and to pay the bills.
After a long journey of hardship and expense on behalf of someone that rejected me and for a place that is not my home (including walking to get food several times a week), I am within a month and a half from freedom and the potential for happiness, once again.