As I was reflecting on something the other night, I realized that I sometimes take for granted that others are communicating with what I consider basic or standard sets of norm understandings. However, as the years have passed I keep finding things that I knew from experience or my upbringing that were foreign concepts to those younger of other generations. Not all.. but some of them simply didn't have the equipment or experience or teaching to KNOW those basics, so they are missing the basic vocabulary to process and the equipment to build a successful life.
One of those basic concepts is the understanding that your life is your life. Now, they may SAY they understand that, because they like the idea of doing what they want to do with their life. However, the other side of that coin is that they are responsible for the choices that they make and the life that they lead. Are you poor? Well, are you working? If you are working, are you controlling your spending? If not, as a charismatic preacher in a church once said that I heard, "The devil doesn't own your pocketbook." That isn't a spiritual curse or a celestial period or even another political party that is responsible but YOU and your choices.
This isn't mean to be a scolding post but a vocabulary lesson and life lesson, because that ALSO comes with a lot of blessings.. even in the negative. When you make a mistake YOU made the mistake, but that also means that you know A> the source of the problem (a bad choice) and B> how to fix it (correct the choices). Even when it is the choices of others that affected us, we STILL have a history of our own choices.
That's the next part. We are all adults. We are responsible for our own lives... the good the bad and the ugly. While some can aggressively attack you against your will, most of our situations involve our own choices putting us there, as well. Often times, fixing the problem is correcting YOUR OWN choices to participate, rather than forcing someone to become something other than what they are.
Once you are able to correct those choices, though, you are liberated to do... WHATEVER you want in your opportunities. Any successes you achieve will be YOUR successes, though that comes with the understanding that any COSTS or NEGATIVES that accompany those choices are ALSO yours.
If society can accept and implement this basic understanding, we'd have a lot less fighting, a lot more fixing, and a lot more happiness in our lives and our world.