I thought I would go through my 3 playlists for 2021, so far, and describe why I put a song in the playlist and what I gain from it, in case that is beneficial for someone else.
Pitbull - I Believe that We Will Win - This is a VERY motivational song that he released EARLY in the pandemic, but it was sorta my 2021 anthem, since the message of the song is that we can either forget everything and run or face everything and rise (FEAR) for every challenge, and I have learned over the last month how important it is to be positive and look forward, instead of back.
Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive - the LYRICS of this song cover many of the aspects of my early transition from past relationship to current. For example...
"At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along"
Within Temptation - And We Run - This song from an old favorite band is important for both the lyrics and visual. The visual is someone breaking from dreary chains to colors and freedom, while the lyrics of the rap portion says things like "never lose hope..this is MY time now"
Billy Idol - Dancing With Myself - Self explanatory... I heard it on the new season of Sabrina and wanted to be reminded that I can be my OWN companion.
Whitesnake - Hear I Go Again - While this has been used by insurance commercials, lately, to suggest someone that is trying to be alone, the lyrics are deep.. "I don't know where I'm going, but I sure know where I've been...I've made up my mind. I ain't wasting no more time. .. I'm just another heart in need of rescue, waiting on love's sweet charity, and I 'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days." Good reminders that there is no point in looking back and that I shouldn't waste changing and should be patient for what I need.
Thompson Twins - Hold Me Now - I put this in the playlist, after the last song, to remind myself that I do, ultimately, want that kind of closeness.
Cindy Lauper - All Through the Night - Like the last song, I want to keep that tenderness as my endgame. And, she says, "We have no past" in one part, which is a good reminder to start fresh with expectations.
Lena Katina - An Invitation - This song was included to remind me to keep an open door for opportunities.
Selena Gomez - Dance Again - Lyrics says..
"Happiness ain't something you sit back and you wait for...I don't need permission." - both important reminders.
Fitz and the Tantrums - Livin for the Weekend - Lyrics: "I get knocked down and I get back up. I'm rising up from the deep end, livin for the weekend." - it is DEFINITELY time to rise, and it's true that I've been knocked down many times in my life and have ALWAYS risen.
Hailee Steinfeld - Love Myself - Lyrics .. "Know how to satisfy.. keepin the temple right, without you. ... I know how to scream my own name.... I love ME, gonna love myself, don't need anyone else."
That's an important reminder, that I can be my own mate... I am experienced in pleasing myself physically and encouraging myself emotionally, having had to do it over the last year. Eventually, I will rise to a new relationship, but I don't need to rush into something that isn't right, because I can take care of my OWN needs, very well, until then.
Selena Gomez - Good for You - I picked this song for the playlist to remind myself that I want to get myself in shape and be a worthy package for someone else's affections. For her in the song, it is appearance and clothing and such, but for me that would be physically fit, financially established, and so on.
Clean Bandit - Tick Tock - I am obsessed with this trio of musicians that do songs with different vocalists. They are VERY talented, and that is ACTUALLY the main reason I have their songs in my playlist. Yes... the lyrics of this song also remind me of the kind of romantic interest that I want to have, but I like the band members in this video showing their creativity... the girl with the pink hair ALSO shows a happy spirit. So, it inspires me to want to awaken my OWN creativity and just BE HAPPY PLAYING within it.
Jubal - Dancing in the Moonlight - I inlcuded this to remind myself of what I find in Florida, a lot... the ability to just drop all the pressures and stresses of the world and just like myself connect emotionally to someone and the universe, itself.
This playlist was meant to tell a story of progression...
Ava Max - Alone, Pt II - This artist is very talented, and even though in this story the progression is FROM her song, it really could be towards it, if told in a different way. The reason it is in this list is that it reflects a state of mind of feeling incomplete without someone. If you are are progressing through the transition from one past relationship to being available for another, the first stage you will feel is this... you feel incomplete, because that is all you have known. The very definitions that you used for success or failure in a relationship are NOW telling you that you are a failure, and it deepens the pain. So, you must leave this in this progression (though as I said could be the end goal, too...so, you will eventually come back to this)
Sia - Courage to Change - Lyrics: "I am afraid I have no purpose here...I am afraid to let you see the real me. Rain it falls, rain it falls...sowing the seeds of love and hope.. we don't have to stay stuck in these weeds. Have I the courage to change?" - As a transition song, this begins by saying how you feel, early on.... you feel no purpose... again, from using relationship definitions of success... and feel stuck and the rain. However, as much as that hurts and feels bad, it is NECESSARY to put to death the past in your mind, so that once it ends you can begin, anew....if you have the courage to step forward in the pain.
This reminds me of something I told my child this weekend. Bad things can be in the past, and that will always be true. They won't suddenly become good. However, if you stay fixated on the past, you keep reliving the bad and never balance it out with good. The ONLY way to fix that is to create NEW good to balance the bad and move forward. After a while, the bad matters a little less and then even less.
Clean Bandit - Solo - I like MOST of this song as a reflection of my changing. I didn't create pain to someone, and I am not wanting that past. However, as the song says, "I wanna Fxxx, but I'm broken hearted, cry but I like to party, touch but I got nobody here on my own. So, I do it solo." While I'm not as broken hearted as I once was, I think everyone that has ended a relationship feels this dualism of both being hurt and yet WANTING the connection and joy that can be in a relationship. So, until you can have that, you have to make it true for yourself.
Rag'n Bone Man - Human - The visual of the song is many faces singing it to indicate that we all are just human and make mistakes. However, that should not stop us from working with each other, both romantically and as a society, which I think is a very important message to remember in this judge and burn society model we have adopted. It is also a reminder to cut myself a break... both because she should have had more patience with me and because whatever mistakes I made are what we ALL as humans make, when placed in a tense and painful environment. It also liberates me to let myself make NEW mistakes, as well.
Sia - Bird Set Free - Lyrics...
"And I don't care if I sing off key
I find myself in my melodies
I sing for love, I sing for me
I shout it out like a bird set free"
After all the past pains and fear of change, you start to realize the beauty in yourself and you begin to do things for yourself... not for others and not waiting for others to recognize the value in yourself. As you glory in yourself, you can shine so that others that can value that in you can see it, as well.