Sunday, February 14, 2021

Valentines Day's CORRECT Perspective

 As we celebrate a day that it dedicated to someone that LITERALLY sacrificed themselves to death, I thought it appropriate to give a warning and a correct perspective on how you should see this day.

First.. the warning..

I have lived a story with multiple ex's where I changed myself to adapt to their needs, politics, and desires, as well as giving up material assets, time, and effort.  In the end, I am no longer with them, and I have nothing of those things given up or things given back that I can carry to this day, even though at the time I was SURE they felt the same way about me... whether there was evidence of it or not.

It is easy to feel that you should give up yourself to others.  You care for them and desire the one you care about to be happy, so you do what you can to make them happy.  However, you need to do a balance sheet or a budget in your mind... not day to day or month to month but at some point as it progresses you need you determine if you are GETTING as much as you are putting into it.  Many will tell you that you should not be "keeping score" but often times the ones that SAY that are worried about their score if such a standard were applied.

Now, I am not saying that you should judge every action, but just look at my experience and life... if you don't keep an eye out for that balance, you can find yourself years down the road literally BROKE and empty, having been sucked dry and discarded, when you were no longer of value to provide.  A relationship should be TWO people giving into each other, so that EACH finds themselves increased by another, rather than one increased at the expense of the other.


So, what is the correct perspective?  It is what I was just saying.  If you are in a non-toxic relationship that returns your investment into them, you need to water that ground.  If what you give is given back, then you must GIVE in order to get back in return.

I am not anti-relationship.  Quite the contrary, my NEED for emotional connection and inflow is what drove me to have problems in ones that were starving, and I will continue forward until I eventually find the one that IS mutually satisfying and stay there for the rest of my life.

Do not take for granted those that express care or concern for you.  I take great comfort in the words of my child in that regard, and it is a wonderful asset given in return for the love that I give.

Valentines day should be about giving love to those that will love you, not giving to those that ignore you, and loving yourself to know the difference.

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