Monday, September 20, 2021

There's Not Only One Way to Happiness

 In many ways, this blog sounds cliche, but I often challenge the cliche or traditional perceptions of the path or destination of happiness.  This post will be one of those that challenges the perceptions.

We are led to believe in tv shows, movies, books, and such that there is ONE WAY happiness, and the perception is that you must seek out the best way to happiness.  And, there is some truth to it in so far as to say that if you are living in a path that brings you PAIN or harms you in some way you should leave that situation.  It is also true that that there can be different levels of success depending on your choices, so you should put some mental effort into making your choice.  

HOWEVER, the real truth of the matter is that you can find near equal paths to HAPPINESS (different from success) in most paths that you could choose, and one is not necessarily objectively better.  It's just... different.

This is true in relationships, and it is true in work.  In work, I am succeeding at this job, and there is every indication that it will continue to grow and expand.  HOWEVER, I could have the same level of success at whatever job I had chosen to do.  I could have chosen another accounting job, and I would have a path to success at THAT location.  I could have chosen to stay with Ubereats, having a better car to do it, now.  Within weeks of me starting this job, I paid off the extra, initial expenses or the tag for the car.  I would have had to only work a month and a half in that path to pay the monthly rate of rent, which would have freed up 200 per month in rental expenses for other things.  I could have gone back to Dillards and retail and within a year been in management in some store.  Any of these options afforded me the same opportunity to feel good about myself and to realize my professional aspirations.

Similarly, if either of my ex's had shown interest and care in my needs, I could have been happy with either of them for my life.  Now, as I look at dating apps, I could visualize myself being happy dozens of ways with different people on there.  It isn't a matter of who is best but which do I choose to begin the path of happiness with them.  Whoever I pick will require me to make concessions, as that is normal in relationships, and each will offer the opportunity to learn how to make THEM happy.

We need to get past this illusion of the one perfect way, because the expectation of perfection can destroy any good in anything less.  Then, we can find the peaceful joys that can be found... on whatever path we choose.

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