If you were go to back for the last year and a half in music playlists and progress, you can not only see what stage of breakup recovery and rebirth that I was in but also feel the emotions expressed in the song choices. Each stage has had its own emotional truths, and that is true of the current ones, as well, although they are somewhat different than the ones I was ready to receive before. I want to back up a few playlists and highlight some songs from each of those playlists and why I valued those songs in those lists, as well as present links so you can sample and consider, yourself.
Let's start with playlist 3 of last month. On that playlist, I began with Sia's Saved My Life. I liked it for the same reason that I like Troublemaker in the same playlist. Both highlight individuality. I both like that quality in myself as well as find it attractive in others. They say that women like the bad boy, but I also like the bad girls, sometimes. It doesn't mean that I don't value inner convictions.. I do. But, even those I like when those that have them have them by themselves and not as a means of fitting in with a group. I remember liking Gal Gadot, before she was in Wonder Woman, when she was the bad, sexy girl in Fast Five. This is not a new quality. I watched every rendition of La Femme Nakita over the years, and I liked Hanna for the same reason. I value personal freedom in myself and others.
The theme of personal freedom is also reflected in the Boy in Space Alan Walker song, as well as many other Alan Walker works. It is also in Hook Me up by The Veronicas, though I didn't have that son in this playlist. Instead, I had Untouched, because I am.... untouched. I won't deny that I miss physical intimacy. Yes, I am skilled in pleasing myself, but I like the passion of sex and pleasure in intimacy.
And, that leads me to Playlist 4 of October, which included Love me Like You Do from Fifty Shades of Grey. I like kiss a woman, touching over her feminine curves that God so skillfully designed, the smell of her perfume as I pull her close, and the touch of her hand. I not only like when our hormone driven instruments touch, but I like going down on a woman (I've got the moves like Jagger) and enjoying that area with my mouth (yeah.. not a G rated blog). I am good with sexual objects being used, role play, and dirty talk. I have a very dirty mind, and I like it when I have someone that appreciates that mind. I Solid Base Wet is on the playlist for that reason, as well as the messages in the song of a woman speaking up to the man and the fact that "this time it's only you and me."
I included That Kind of Woman in the playlist, because I am looking forward to having a woman in my life that desires me enough to fight for me and be jealous over me. As Josie said in a quote from last week's Legacies, "For once, I want someone willing to stay and fight, even if it is a lost cause, because I'm worth it."
In Playlist 6 of October, I included The Veronicas Life of the Party, because like the song says... "Everyone wants to be life of the party, but I just want to find someone." I don't need someone flashy or perfect. I just want someone loyal, interested, flirty, and that cares for me.
And, that brings us to the most recent playlist, which has many things I want to say something about.
In Fear by Blue October, the theme of the song is that fear will destroy you and rob you from what you could have. In Hang On by Plumb, I am reminded to keep holding on when the waters rise and keep believing in happiness. I would also like a woman that would keep hanging on and not give up on the relationship when things get rocky. Katy Perry's Roulette is a reminder to me to step out of my comfort zone and take risks. Whenever I hear this song, I am encouraged to message on dating apps and feel like going out on the town at night. I'm sure many are surprised at the next song, but I actually like many of the old Lady Gaga songs, and this is one. It has a lot of truth about being pushed by others to fit a mold in the video but the audio of the song also reminds me that there is no perfect ROMANCE, and as I have learned... if you want a perfect romance you will be living alone. At some point, you need to learn to compromise and take what you can get. That message is also reflected in the audio for Take Me To Church, and the video reflects the hatred of difference that seems to highlight our day and a reminder that some things you need to keep to yourself and close friends... at least for now. The last song of the playlist, Broken, also talks about not expecting perfection from others or yourself before you begin. Finally, Marionette is included in the playlist as a reminder that commitment and giving up some individuality is important in a relationship. It's actually a very hot thing when a independent woman gives up some of that independence for a man, just as it is for a man for a woman.