For many people, Christmas doesn't feel so.... Merry, especially if you lost people over the course of the year or recent years. It's not even so much about them, as it is about feeling alone. Yes, you have friends, but anyone that has had close connections over a holiday or holidays knows what they are lacking when they are by themselves.So, even when you have the blessings of money or friends, you still feel that lack... especially when you see your friends enjoying the time with THEIR special someone. It's like being single at a wedding. You truly are happy for them and wish them the best, but you are made even more aware that you are ... single. And just like people getting older that attend those kind of events, you feel more drive and dedication to find YOUR special someone. Hopefully, like me, you have the cautionary tales of the past to not make rush decisions, simply because of the season.
However, there is nothing wrong with wanting someone close, and the holidays should not be cursed for bringing those thoughts to mind. Truly, those are the memories that will remain, even if the relationship that brought them no longer exists. It's like I've said... Ice Cream is good, but ice cream doesn't remain. It not remaining doesn't take away from the fact that it was good, and you will likely one day have another lick at it.
There's a song on the Dec 13 playlist that I did, yesterday, that are songs sung by or created by those born on my birthday. It's Happiness by Taylor Swift. I actually shared and talked about that song the week that it came out, though I haven't had it in a lot of playlists... if any... because it is a hard song to absorb. It is brutally honest and deep, much like me. In the song, she talks about how she is feeling pain from a breakup, but one day the real her will forgive him. She talks about how there was good WITH him and would be good AFTER him, and both of those can be true. I've talked about that in several of my blogs. It takes a while to get there in your healing, but it comes from being able to forgive YOURSELF for being in a past relationship. When you can do that, you can accept that you were good in that relationship, and that relationship's joys were still joys, even though they ended... like the ice cream. Once you can do that, you can let yourself take another lick at it and try again.
So, this Christmas, even if you are not feeling so merry, I'd ask that you reflect back on the good of the past, accept the good that is in you, and let it encourage faith in the Christmases to come.