I get alot of advice by people, born out of good intentions, as a single man. A lot of my friends doesn't want me to be sitting home, alone. So, their part of the solution to the problem is the sitting at home part of it. It makes sense for the young. They still have their lives ahead of them, and they want to enjoy life, doing things. And... it is fun to get out and do things.
However, people that get older like myself have done all of that... a couple times, honestly. I've been to ball games, cultural events, holiday displays, and more. However, when you get older you are aware that you are alone in doing those things. This is especially true for those that have been in marriages or relationships in the past. Because, let's face it, experiencing something by yourself is not as good as experiencing it with someone else... or at least that is how it is for me.
So, while younger people can spend their single years out at clubs or events or whatever, doing those things as an older person is just a reminder that you are doing it ALONE, which can be like adding salt in the wound when you see other couples out there doing it or see your friends posting couple times that they enjoy in their own families. Honestly... many that are in relationships take for granted what they have... maybe they aren't even aware or grateful for the benefit of having someone in your life.
The other side to this post is priorities. I've lived long enough to learn that when someone can't find the time for you, it is because they don't value you as much as other things. When someone has someone or something valuable in their lives, they are dedicated to them for whatever is needed. That's why people don't miss work times, the buy Christmas presents, they buy groceries for food, etc. When it's important, it gets done. When it is allowed to pass, it wasn't that important to someone... or if it does it comes with an apology.
Also, when something is important, it gets paid. You... put your money where your mouth is by buying what is important, paying the bills that need to be paid, or investing in needed attire and such. So, buying presents for a loved one should be a common thing in any relationship family or romantic.
As this applies to the above part of this blog is this. I'm not going to feel bad about putting money into dating apps. In fact, I'm about to expand their use and pay for more boosts and more. Why? I'd rather have someone in my arms watching a movie and snuggling on a couch than do events and see places that remind me I am seeing them by myself. I love my daughter and spending time with her, but she will one day grow and leave like her sister, and I will be alone. I need to invest time and energy into fixing that, just like I have dedicated time and energy to things like relocating to Florida or finding a job. If it's important, you find a way... and I will find a way to make THIS priority come to life and continue to reinforce it once I do.
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