I wanted to do a quick blog that was on my mind, before I begin my midday food deliveries. I want to talk about faith and loyalty.
At the end of my last marriage, I remember my ex saying she didn’t think we could work out our differences, despite my attempts. Indeed, when she first said she wanted to end it, I refused to accept it… saying in effect that she couldn’t make me accept it. Of course, that was in part denial. However, when I suggested counseling (which I would suggest a few more times), she said, “I don’t think it would do any good.”
See.. she had already given up faith in us, and she didn’t feel any loyalty to the relationship. In fact, even the suggestion that I had given so much to ask she also give was seen as manipulation by her.
I am not saying that the relationship was good, and I’m not saying I want it to continue, now. It’s impossible to have a relationship where you are the only one holding to the vows to remain in sickness and health. At some point if someone else has given up, you must too find happiness somewhere else.
It’s hard to get to the stage of wanting loyalty and faith, when you have had to personally give it up to move on. However, if you cannot respect those qualities, every future relationship is also doomed to failure. You must give up self sacrifice to move on, but you must learn to value faith and loyalty BEYOND your ex with others, even as you are stepping away. Or else… what’s the point of even trying with someone new.