I'm going to take this pre V day period to do a post that I think is very important if anyone is to make a romance work... intent.
Last night, I watched Hitch, again. I love that movie. In one scene, he says, "Begin each day as if it s on purpose." That's true in romance, as well. You both have to try. You don't just do that to GET the person but to keep the person, as well.
However, we live in a very me-driven focus society. Instead of people saying, "How can I help you," they say, "How dare you delay me even one second from my goal." When things fall apart, they say, "Why does this happen to ME?"
It reminds me of when I took "Victimology" in college. One of the textbooks was by Wayne Dyer that I really hated at the time. He challenged even religion in his viewpoint that people should take responsibility for their own lives. However, most people will find a devil to blame... or someone else that let them down. The reality, though, is that our own choices lead us down the paths we take and our own choices can save us, instead of sitting around praying for someone else to save them. At the time, I felt this was too atheist of a worldview for me to accept, but it has turned in my life to be true.
If you are not acting on your own to fix your life or better your image to others, God's not gonna do it either. Benjamin Franklin famously said, "God helps those that help themselves," but that concept didn't begin with him. Even Jesus required actions by everyone he healed for fed and requires actions by each of us to be saved.
Yet... that's not the current worldview. It's all about me me me. As I have experienced in my own past, sometimes people will just fail to notice you or your needs, so the other person drifts away or the relationship falls apart. Then, when it does, they are over there like... they just left and I don't know why... I didn't do anything against them. That was true I believe in some small part on both sides in my past failures. However, it doesn't matter if you intentionally did something AGAINST them if you didn't do anything intentionally FOR them. Sometimes, our failure is that we were intentionally negligent.
Yes.. I said intentionally. Everything we do is a choice...it's an action. Those actions have consequences. So, when we INTENTIONALLY focus on ourselves instead of others, it has the consequence of them feeling unloved or unnoticed, and things snowball from there.
So, I am making it a point in my own life in recent years to make sure that EVERYONE in my life.. whether friends or customers or interests or whatever.. knows I am THERE and that I notice them. I might have contributed in my negligent failure of my past, but I will intentionally build my future to be benefit of all in my life.