I was lying here this morning, relaxing on a morning off listening to the rain outside my window, and I thought about how I’ve given too much attention in my mind to my ex, especially as she has shown no concern for not only me but my daughter. I’d already reflected on my part in it and how I gave so much, even after divorce, so that she could show no empathy to myself. But, my daughter was rarely in her attention in all of my marriage, except when she or her kids wanted to blame someone. While I was making an effort for her kids, she didn’t do the same. So, it’s no surprise that when told my daughter had broken her arm and had surgery over it that she didn’t show the slightest of concern. Realizing that was just the push that I needed to block her in my social media… in all my accounts… not so that she could not see mine, I’m sure she couldn’t care less. Literally. I did it, because I don’t want to be tempted to include her in my attention, anymore.
From my earliest years, I have valued real over fake and empathy over indifference. People that spend a lot of time obsessing over how they look but fail to show any concern or care are the FURTHEST away from EVER having my interest, so why should I spend one more moment reflecting on her.
Outer beauty is temporal. It can be appreciated in the moment, but that moment passes. But, someone with a beautiful soul.. now, that’s something special, and that will be my standard going forward.