Around the beginning of the year if you were reading my posts, you heard me say that I was feeling in my divinity/intuition self that is never wrong that my life was moving in a new direction, and I even felt my music playlists changing as a result of it.... I've also noted before that when I put together music playlists I wait for inspiration of which to include in each list. That concept has become more and more clear, and I have begun to understand what it really means to say that.
A lot of people talk about it being a new day or a new start or to begin again. However, what they often mean is that a specific option has ended, and they are about to look for another option in which they will follow the same patterns. I have made that mistake a LOT over my life. One relationship ends, and I look for someone else that will work with the same formula. Or, I would leave one accounting job to go to another accounting job to end in the same result.
However, I feel something shifted deep within me over the course of the last 6 months or so. Prior to that point, I was determined and stressed at the task of finding the right person for my relationship expectations, or I was looking for connections to replace my family lost in the divorce. Or, sometimes, it was just trying to recreate moments of happiness I had experience in the past.
But, new means new.
What I have felt is that I needed to drop my definitions or expectations of the past, because the future would be different. I felt that instead of replacing or recreating things of the past, it would be a new adventure. As such, past events or people were unable to inform me or prepare me for the future. Instead, I needed to face it with open eyes and mind, rather than being narrowly focused.
That's why I am ok taking my time to become a new teacher. That's why I am ok taking my time to find the right person. That's why I am more at peace with where I am, as I journey to the future. It's because this is an adventure, and I intent to face the future with curiosity and wonder instead of being frustrated by expectations.
I don't know what the future holds, and... isn't that the greatest thing? I look forward to NEW days leading to NEW things. Imagine what that could be.
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