New Means New

 Around the beginning of the year if you were reading my posts, you heard me say that I was feeling in my divinity/intuition self that is never wrong that my life was moving in a new direction, and I even felt my music playlists changing as a result of it.... I've also noted before that when I put together music playlists I wait for inspiration of which to include in each list.  That concept has become more and more clear, and I have begun to understand what it really means to say that.

A lot of people talk about it being a new day or a new start or to begin again.  However, what they often mean is that a specific option has ended, and they are about to look for another option in which they will follow the same patterns.  I have made that mistake a LOT over my life.   One relationship ends, and I look for someone else that will work with the same formula.  Or, I would leave one accounting job to go to another accounting job to end in the same result.

However, I feel something shifted deep within me over the course of the last 6 months or so.  Prior to that point, I was determined and stressed at the task of finding the right person for my relationship expectations, or I was looking for connections to replace my family lost in the divorce.  Or, sometimes, it was just trying to recreate moments of happiness I had experience in the past.

But, new means new.

What I have felt is that I needed to drop my definitions or expectations of the past, because the future would be different.  I felt that instead of replacing or recreating things of the past, it would be a new adventure.  As such, past events or people were unable to inform me or prepare me for the future.  Instead, I needed to face it with open eyes and mind, rather than being narrowly focused.

That's why I am ok taking my time to become a new teacher.  That's why I am ok taking my time to find the right person.  That's why I am more at peace with where I am, as I journey to the future.  It's because this is an adventure, and I intent to face the future with curiosity and wonder instead of being frustrated by expectations.

I don't know what the future holds, and... isn't that the greatest thing?  I look forward to NEW days leading to NEW things.  Imagine what that could be.