Monday, March 21, 2022

The Difference Between Pleasure and Happiness

 Happiness is a quiet state of contentment in life and the peace of knowing what lies ahead.  It is not a fleeting moment that may pass, and so many have those confused that our society finds itself lost on the path.

I remember decades ago when we all began to see the confusion building.  Objections WERE made at the time, as tv shows and movies talked about love when referring to sex and romance as being products that you could buy and use for the mood... toys, scents, etc.  People talked about how those things were used for PLEASURE, but that moment of pleasure would pass, while true LOVE remains... another reason why so many can discard relationships is that their "love" was also not something that could remain but was tied to personal satisfaction.

However, it was more POPULAR to talk about sex than to talk about emotions.  Indeed, having emotional discussions became tied to one gender, while the other was only interested in flesh... in the social stereotype, not reality.. men are fully capable of talking about emotions, but that became an "effiminate" thing for them to do.

So, since pleasure became "romance" and "love" was reaching orgasm, personal connections waned, which leads us to the rise of divorce in the country.  Ironically, the industry of "romance" products and media about them grew, but the focus changed from pleasure of your mate to buying them for pleasure of yourself.  

And, this brings me to my point.  The cycle of modern love and romance brings individuals to the point of being so self absorbed that they lose connection to their mates, feeling things like not being appreciated or respected or heard or cared for...none of the things included in "pleasure" but the quiet emotional undercurrents that people so carefully avoided and the vulnerability that leads to intimacy, as "intimacy" also became a sexual byword.

As people get older, their bodies start to weaken and fail.  That can mean things like not having the energy or having too much pain to have sex, while their "mood" is also affected by negative feelings from not having those emotional supports.  Eventually, relationships based on sex will fail for these exact reasons.  However, those that built actual LIKES and security of knowing they have someone that will never leave them will give a quiet HAPPINESS that will remain to the end.

And, that is my future goal.

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