How to Conquer Fear

I have a few things to blog, today. This is the first.

I learned a long time ago not to fear, and it has served me well where I have applied it. When I forgot it, I ended up making mistakes and losing opportunities. It is still a struggle at times, but I am happy to say that for the most part I am able to apply it to good ends.

I thought I would share some of the techniques and realizations that have enabled me to do it, so that others that are reading can benefit from them, as well.

1. Fear is faith - This one is missed by many that state that faith is the opposite of fear, but both are a form of faith. There is no evident fact behind either. I used to say that when you are sliding towards a car and think you MIGHT hit the car, you fear you will. When you know you WILL hit the car, you don't fear anymore but react and respond. In the cases of both fear and faith, you don't KNOW how it will turn out, but you are making a guess. Since that is the case, why not believe for the better? If you are wrong, all you would have done is lived days happier on hope till the inevitable.

2. Some things ARE inevitable and can't be changed. You can cite the Serenity Prayer or the very old song I grew up hearing...

"Que sera, sera 

Whatever will be, will be

The future's not ours to see

Que sera, sera

What will be, will be"

Of course, we also say, "It is that it is," as a confession that things are not we like but are things that we must accept.  But, I don't think it is always a bad thing.  Think about the story of the car, above.  You fear when you don't know.  So, if you believe that some things are set by God, fate, the universe, or etc you don't have to FEAR the unknown.  You can just get up, make positive choices and actions, live your life, and accept what happens.

I have noted the story of David in the Bible praying fervently for his son to live.  When his son died, he got up washed and dressed and went on with life.  Others were wondering why, and he basically said what good was it to continue to wish he was alive when he was dead.  That is a good lesson for life.

3.  Fear can be a self fulfilling prophecy, since it limits your actions and changes you complexion.  There is a movie I love that I have noted in the past called The Secret Dare to Dream.  It stars Josh Lucas and Katie Holmes and is on Amazon.  In the movie, the woman has lost her husband and is raising her kids, but her and her family have adopted a pessimistic, negative attitude towards everything.  A man comes along and teaches her and her family about the power of attraction and how we attract what we put out there.  If we are negative, we are more likely to attract negative than positive, and it is better to think about what you want over what you lack.

When you fear, you also don't take the chances necessary to build a new life and grow.  Very often in my life, I found myself in a situation I didn't want to happen.  However, instead of staying there wallowing in despair, I got up and tried... SOMETHING.  It wasn't always the right thing, but even when it failed, it gave me confidence that I could DO something and make me feel better about myself for trying.  It also gave me the experience to learn what I did like and didn't, which helped me make better attempts going forward.

So, those are just a few of the many things I have developed to help me moving forward past fear, and I hope they can help you, as well.