Saturday, May 7, 2022

To Thine Own Self Be True

"This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man." - Hamlet, Shakespeare

A stepping stone of truth is that we should be true to ourselves, as is reflected in this famous line from Hamlet.  I like this play but I always picture the Mel Gibson version in my head, even when I have seen and like the others, as well.  This is one of the final pieces of truth a father gave his son to ensure he was prepared for life.

The thing is.. our SELF can be defined as so many things, and many are less permanent and temporary than others.  We adjust how we apply ourselves to many situations and times.  Who I was in one situation or with one person is not who I am with all, and before you call that two faced it's how God (who is unchanging by Scripture) is, as well.  It's also how you are with different groups.  You do not treat them all the same.  It also adjusts by time or response.  I was caring and supportive in relationships that were caring and supportive, but, when they left me or it ended, they no longer deserved that side of me.  Again, we see this with God, as well, who says he will draw nigh to those that do the same.

Most dating apps have some level of "matching" with others, but the basis of that match is often so general and without priority that it is irrelevant.  General in that it "matches" on things like... do you like music?  I think everyone likes music, and that doesn't even say what TYPE of music or bands which would be more revealing.  It is also without priority.  What do I mean by that?

I like a lot of different things.  Some of them I like more, and some I like less.  It also is true that some things that I like are not important to be shared by others, while other things that I like can increase the attractiveness to me in who I would consider in my life, because I would want to share those things with them.  

Of course there is the non-interest and non-logical part of a relationship... the fire and passion of hormones that can add to a relationship, and that shouldn't be discounted.  I definitely want that part of it.  A purely logical match without it is really just a friendship.  But, that passion is fickle, and the emotions tied to it can change quickly or worse be found in someone else.  You need to have a connection underneath it.  It's up to you to envision what that would look like for you, and it will be different from others around you.

I'm in the process of figuring out exactly what that would look like for me.  Geeky, real, caring, reflective, supportive, curious, spicy, sporty... there are a lot of sides to me and I... like you... need to take some time to decide what I would like beside me for the rest of my life.

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