Wednesday, June 1, 2022

You Do What You Have To Do

Gas prices went up another 20 cents per gallon, since last week.  I don't say this to say something political.  That is up to you when you vote to do what is best for you.  But, it means that I have to drive an additional hour per day to make up for the increase of gas prices over the last year... so... I drive an extra hour.  I could lament the increase and sign petitions or whatever, but I would STILL have to drive an extra hour per day to cover the increase in gas prices.

And, that brings me to my point of this blog post.  You do what you have to do.  I've mentioned at times that I learned in Boston a phrase that I hated at the time, which became clearer and clearer to being true... It is that it is.  I also particularly like the reverse... it isn't that it isn't.  While it is important to have hopes and believe in things, you also can't create something that isn't there.  It's the backside of the serenity prayer.. the part that we don't like... accept the things we cannot change and know the difference.  Sometimes we don't see things clearly, because we want something to happen... and sometimes the other person SHOWS something that isn't a true reflection because THEY want it to happen and are pretending to be something that they are not, which is not sustainable and will end in sorrow.

Things are that they are, and it is best to know what that is and adjust to it.  For example, I pressured my financial aid office on the date of loan disbursement for the education program, so I could accurately budget around it.  They provided me an answer that they were hopeful was true.  I budgeted on it.  Then, they changed the date to extend it by 2 weeks at the last second.  What they were saying was meant to be helpful to me, but it ended up being hurtful, as I had to adjust my planned budget and change things to meet the new reality.... or the reality but a new perception of it.  Had I known what I COULD NOT CHANGE I would have been less disappointed.

But, when faced with the change in financial aid date, I adjusted.  Just like the gas prices, I accepted it and made choices that would best use the information that I have to my benefit.  That's why I adjust my personal budget almost daily, because unexpected things always tend to happen.  If I just went off my rosy hopeful budget, I would not have the time to adjust my income or bills and would run into a brick wall.

There is another side to all of this, and it is just as important, though it is often ignored.  You shouldn't just look ahead and remain flexible to avoid NEGATIVE things that happen, but you should look ahead and be flexible for the POSITIVE things that CAN happen.  This week I am changing over from substitute teaching to driving Ubereats over the summer.  My sub pay always comes the week after the week that I work.  So, I technically COULD have taken the week OFF, and many do exactly that when it comes to their choices... they take the path of least resistance.  But, as we learn from exercise, resistance can be when you have the opportunity to reach your goals.  So, I am driving.  As a result, I can afford to pay for my daughter's birthday experience, despite the change in financial aid with a few adjustments.

 I'll close this unusually rich blog post (a lot in here) by applying all of these lessons to romance, which I have and am learning and wish I knew years ago.  If you want to find it, you have to get out there and do it.  A Christian movie once had a dad telling his son about basketball, "You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take."    You do what you have to do.  You should go INTO it with the hope and faith that you need to reach your goals against resistance, but you should have the wisdom to recognize when something is not going to work and be willing to walk away, even if it hurts feelings...yours or theirs.  It's better to do that than face the alternative of it ending poorly much later.  And, when it ends, don't consider it a failure.  As Edison pointed out of his experiments that didn't work, he found 2000 ways NOT to make a lightbulb, till he found the right way.  You pick yourself up, and you do what you have to do, all over again.  That's the only way to find the path to your future treasure.

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