Wednesday, July 20, 2022

Self Improvement for Others

 I have been building a concept in my social media posts last night and this morning and the next applications of it became so much in my head that I thought it better to bring it all together in a post.  I want to lead off by saying my thinking has to do with my personal goals more than others, but you might be able to glean something from it for yourself.

We live in a distracted society that chooses distraction.  What's more, we have changed how connections are made to make them very difficult.  It used to be the case that we would be bopping along doing our own thing or with our friends doing our shared interests.  Then, we would meet someone that captured our attention, and they became our primary interest.  That was the NORMAL way it was done for thousands of years.  However, our society has flipped that on its head, and we meet someone through dating apps or etc and then judge them by our interests, leading them to either be rejected for not sharing them or accepted to become "one of many" (as Dua Lipa puts it) among others that share that interest.

We continue to judge them by that resonance to OUR interests, and where they differ or when they cause friction to our interests, they are rejected, because our romance was never centered on THEM as the interest or CARING for them the goal.  Instead, it was centered on finding the most devoted FAN, like an internet influencer looking for likes.

I don't work that way.

I was raised in a different time period, when we were taught to be a gentleman for the ladies, and ladies were taught to be a prize for the man.  Now, both of those are deemed offensive... that a man would limit his wants for a woman and that a woman would accept the aid of a man.  And, if you DO improve yourself, it can never be ... FOR THEM.  No.  Improve for yourself, goes the popular theme.

Here's the problem with that.  If you are improving for yourself and expose no vulnerability to others, you can NEVER make a real connection with them.  Who wants to enter a relationship, where they are being judged from the start?  Who is going to expose their needs, when the other person projects self-completeness as the goal?

As I said this is all about my OWN goals for myself and others. I have been working out, and I will continue to do so.  It's NOT because it's what I want to be doing with my time.  It's only partially because health is important to me.  It's because when I think about what I want from a woman, I want her to admire me and find me attractive.  I want her to like me for me.  To do that, I need to be someone that women can like.  That requires continual self improvement (even after you get them) and being someone that is giving to others... which I consider a VERY attractive quality.  BE what you want to attract, and those kind of people will find you, as The Secret fictional movie on Amazon notes, rather than being a negative person that will attract negative people.

So, that's my challenge as I go forward.  I will improve my BODY, my career, my assets, and my personality; so, I will be worthy of the kind of attraction I want to be fuel for the relationship I want.

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