Monday, September 26, 2022

Ages and Stages

 I've used a quote from Doctor Who in the past to describe how we change over our lives, but I wanted to use it to lead into a new way of looking at it, too...

"We all change, when you think about it, we're all different people; all through our lives, and that's okay, that's good, you've gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be."

In the past, I used that to say that as life changes, we change.  We are different, and so are the people that are around us..  because we have taken in information or influences and have grown or become new in a way and that hopefully couples move in the same direction from the same influences.

However, it is also more basic... more literal.. and that is the focus of this blog, today.

When I hit my mid-century mark, last year (yeah I know I don't look it), I was like.. ok, no big deal, as I already have been feeling more nostalgic and mature.  Even that word mature is applicable to this post so... put a pin in that.  Anyway, so I accepted it, but I hadn't fully realized the next part that follows the year.

Each of our decades of our lives, we feel that we have a complete understanding of how LIFE is.  As we get older, each of those decades have a different take on how LIFE is, and as you get closer to this point, you begin to realize that your perspective of life is not how LIFE is for everyone.  You get older, and the younger are still sure of themselves doing younger things that you did in those years.  You smile at the memories and snicker at their pride, while happy they have the chance to learn from the years, as well.

Then, you get... "old" or "older" and start to separate from those groups and form new ones.  A little over a weekend ago, I did a couple social events that had a lot of older people at them.  It was fun and interesting to talk and listen to them, and I began to get an understanding that older people have a sorta unofficial club.  If you lived this long (which is an accomplishment), you were automatically a member.  You had experiences and memories and were  now interested in making new experiences and memories.  Of course... that's my perspective at this age in my life.  I'm sure I'll have a different perspective of LIFE in ten more years.

But, I find it interesting... we spend so much of our lives trying to cling to past ages and stages, when we have new perspectives and those with which we can more closely identify in our current and future ages and stages.  I reflect back on my last marriage to one that was much younger... 9 years.  I can kinda see in how that fell apart and such that it wasn't just our age difference but our STAGE difference at play.  We were at different points with different priorities.  I also had aches and pains and challenges of age, which I felt was a weakness and embarrassing when trying to act young, which would have been NORMAL with someone closer in age.  I have carried that experience with me, which has been one reason I didn't pursue someone new that is younger.  We're all human, but we're not necessarily... the same.

So, that's the point of this post.  As you seek your happiness, be aware that what you considered happiness ten years ago and what others may feel it is may not be what it currently is for you or how you should pursue it.  Life changes, and the best way to keep happy is to change with it.

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