Friday, October 7, 2022

Update and Plan for Site Revision

After a lot of personal reflection, I have made a career decision and that helps with the site revision that I had promised.  The best way to present both is by way of a personal update blog post.

I have turned in my resignation letter for my 2nd grade teaching position that I had assumed.  It is not the career that will make me happy at any point along the way, because it is not suited to my personality or my goals.  Yes, it is true that I failed to master this career option, and that is unusual for me.  Usually, I am able to come in and master something within a few months and perform it well.  That has been true of every other job I have had.  However, the education of kids is not really something to master... so that's one sign of the personal mismatch.  

It is possible that it has to do with my being a man in elementary among kids that were raised mostly by mom and have a default connection to women, especially as the other men also had a similar problem and evidenced by the fact that I saw the kids respond in silence to multiple women that entered the room, before they even had done ANYTHING to build a relationship with them.  However, even if that issue could be resolved, I had and have many other reasons for a career change... many of which I can't talk about other than to say the school system has the same kind of personnel and equipment shortages that you see in other industries, has unrealistic demands placed on them by administration and the parents, and is an occupation that is more focused on how someone feels than how they perform.  I get why that is important, but I'm a very fact based, step by step problem solver.  How someone performs has been my personal guide for many decades.  I also feel that we are enabling youth abusers, because we are not being stern enough with those that disobey and giving them a sense they can keep doing it... a bad lesson to teach a kid that will one day be an adult.

I began the school year with high hopes, but those hopes became dashed somewhere along the way, as I had parents say, "F... YOU," when I called them about their child's misbehavior, had weekly incidents where certain kids would say things about my personal life, like "this is why you are not married," or "you have a big belly," or "when will you get hair in your bald spot," and etc.  When I would get onto a kid for misbehavior, I would hear, "I'm going to tell my mom on you," showing their sense of entitlement right out in front.  I began to ask why it was that I was there, again, because those that I was there to help were often the ones that were attacking me... reminding me of a couple noted toxic relationships in my past.  It reminds me very much of my experience at Tampa Housing Authority where you were attacked for asking for income documents so that you could give them cheaper rent.

So, you can clearly see why this career is NOT a path to happiness for me, and I gave thought to what I wanted to be doing for the next 12-15 years or so before I can collect social security.  This is not that.  So, I resigned before I wasted more of my and their time, and I could make space for a teacher to whom the kids CAN respond.  I am already contacting possible avenues for accounting jobs, but I always have Ubereats upon which to fall.  I was making more than enough with that option to pay for bills, and I was working 35-40 hours, unlike the 60 or so with teaching (another thing not leading to a happy lifestyle).  If I increased my delivery time by even 10 hours, I would be adding 150 dollars a week to that budget.

As for my blog.  I am open to romantic options, but I plan to be private about it and not make it a focus of the blog.  I am also open to a single life, and I want to design a blog that doesn't rely upon a relationship to define happiness.  So, over this weekend, I will be changing the format of the blog to focus on categories of happiness, most of which do not relate to romance.  Then, I will blog about them.  I will also add a tab for work at home options, like blogs I had in the past, to help others if you want to make a little extra money, yourself.  I hope you enjoy the new journey.


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