Monday, December 5, 2022

Love Yourself

Today, I was getting together my resume, and I realized just how badly I am NOT where I SHOULD be... career wise, pay level, and status.  Yes... I said status.  

 I have an MBA.  I worked my way up in retail from selling shoes to the furniture department business manager for a Dillards in 6 months.  Once in that position, I raised the store from bottom of the region to 3rd.  I've worked in the IRS as a Revenue Agent talking to CEOs of companies.  I've worked in the accounting contract wing of IBM.  I was hired to be an assistant on Federal and Indian royalty reporting, but within 6 months I was running the whole desk.  Within a year of that point, I was given a raise and promoted to consultant and sat in on big (and boring) board meetings with company executives.  I went to another company and was not only tasked with testing and preparing their next accounting system, but I was offered 10 thousand dollars to STAY, even though I left because the senior manager of the project admitted he didn't know what he was doing in the job.

I not only dated someone and got married.  I paid for weekends away at fancy hotels, sold my house for a nice wedding and ring and honeymoon, and more.  However, HERE is where I made my mistake and would continue repeating the mistake over and over and over.  I BEGAN by giving up my house for her but would eventually have given up career, chosen living location, and more to help her reach HER goals.  Eventually, she would get bored with us and move on without an inch of concern for me, but it wasn't HER that gave up all of my things to her.

Then, there is my oldest daughter.  When she was having severe ADHD issues and the school didn't know what to do with her, I took 7 years to homeschool her and prepare her for in place schooling and life.  She would go back into high school in a public school and get A's.  Then, after my first divorce when she was living with my first ex, she would get lazy and lose her financial aid by failing out of all of her classes.  So.. sacrificial Ken came running and said she could stay in my house, and I would take her to classes at a community college that I would cover the cost so that she could get her grades back up and get her aid, again.  All of that did happen.  However, when I said she should get a job (at 23) she went to live with my ex.. and repeat all of this cycle with her, as well.

My point being... similar to the users post... If you give all that you have to others, you can find yourself regretting all of the things you didn't become and ACCEPTING a lower station than you deserve... like me saying that I can make it by delivering Ubereats.  Indeed, I CAN do that.  I didn't just do that.  I figured out how with just that and a few other online incomes (ALL of which require no degree) I could pay for rent in FLORIDA, which is crazy high.  I don't just work.  I'm a rock star at Entrepreneurship.  But, WHY am I doing that?  WHY am I living a lower position than I deserve and can get?  You might think... and I did... that's it's GODLY or HUMBLE to work at a lower position and live off of less.  

Let's consider that.  Jesus isn't still on Earth, is He?  No... He's on a throne.  He may have given to people on Earth, but He sacrificed so we wouldn't have to.  His goal is to reward us in glory.   Are we going to reject that when we have it?  He made Solomon and others in the Bible rich.  There are AMPLE prosperity scriptures, where He said we wouldn't be able to contain the blessings that He would give to us ON EARTH.  And, while the love of money and Greed is a sin, so is ENVY.  So, everyone that is desiring the wealth of the blessed is guilty of a sin, as well.

In Ecclesiastes, God says that man's part on earth is to eat, drink, and enjoy their blessings and life on earth.  God never said to take away the wealth of those He blessed.  He only wanted 10 percent back, which is a much lower rate than the tax rate proposed by many on this Earth.

I say all of that to say this.  God wanted us to love ourselves, BEFORE we love others.  You can't fill out of an empty cup, and even the military teaches you to put your own gas mask on before helping others in that situation.  TOO MUCH of my assets and life have gone to others and left me in my struggling position, when I AM THE ONE THAT PAID for others and am worthy of much more.  I've decided that my next focus.. more than dating or romance.. is to get myself back in a professional income in my degreed and experienced area of accounting, and I plan to pay myself back for all that I have given away and make MYSELF comfortable in my success.  No one else is going to do that for me.

No comments:

Post a Comment