Sunday, December 18, 2022

You Were Designed for This

 "All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not." 1 Cor 10:23

As I drove for deliveries this morning and listened to the new Christian music station that I found for Tampa, I had a long chat with God about several things and got a clearer picture on several things that have not only impacted my own life but many things affecting society and relationships in it.  I used to think that I was being given the trials or struggles of others so that I would have a better understanding of how to help them.  In this case I think that is true.

I mentioned in passing in a social media post that I once questioned my gender, and that is true.  It was after my last ex had ended her relationship with me, and I was questioning a lot about myself and why she would reject me and such.  I was probably influence in this by the fact that her girl/son had been openly trans from the time that I got involved in that family (born a girl and chose to be a boy gender).  I can say this because no one knows who my ex is by design, so their identity is protected.

Anyway, so I questioned my gender, because I was such a sensitive guy and tended to react to relationships and such in a way stereotypically being how women respond to them.  I also dislike conflict and sports where conflict is a major part of them.  So, I figured that I was "feminine" and thus not male.  As time would progress, I would drop that assumption, because I saw that I also had masculine ways of responding to things... moreso than feminine ways.  So, I assumed that on the spectrum that I was more masculine and thus should be identified as that.  HOWEVER, all of this is irrelevant to a large degree, which I will get it in a minute.

Over the last year, I have taken strides towards masculinity by choice.  I have noted that society tends to revert back to the stereotypical genders and relationship forms, even by those that voice criticism of the old ways.  Almost all liberal voices in government are either part of monogamous straight relationships where the man is higher earning and family leader, or they are dating and seeking that kind of relationship.  They want the wedding, man giving gifts, children, picture perfect lifestyle that is characteristic of what Hollywood presents, despite Hollywood criticism of it.  Ads and programming on tv are geared for the stereotypes.  The "equality" political party chose a man over a woman as their choice for president.  Etc.  You get the picture.  

I also felt that I had given too much to woman that didn't receive them in gratitude.  In fact, my last ex vocally told me that my giving her gifts made her feel incapable, despite my never suggesting that and willingly giving as I always do.... to women.  She would go on to seek someone else to give her gifts and the story book princess lifestyle, so I think it had more to do with my reduced income at the time, as I had left work to care of her with her hurting back.  In fact, the wedding dance song she chose was the main song from Cinderella's movie.  We have a lot of Disney "princess" movies where a man gives and protects the woman, and women love those movies.

Getting back to my conversation with God this morning.  I suddenly realized something.  Society has proven God right.  Consider for the moment that God KNEW that by our biological chemicals that we would by nature become people that would be a certain way and our bodies would present themselves in a certain way.  Say He knew that while we COULD choose to be or do anything (see the verse above) that only one way would be easiest and most likely to provide us a lifestyle that would give us what we want and be most accepted by others that choose that lifestyle.  Might he say that that should be the way we should be and live?  I think there are MANY examples in society that are showing us in many ways that the absence of God's laws has provided a society that is lost, confused, bitter, alone, and dysfunctional.  Why?  We are defining things by our WANTS and not what actually is.

Biology is a science, and there has been a lot of talk about trusting science in these days.  I was born with a male body.  That is a scientific fact.  In that body, people for thousands of years have had different kinds of personalities.  Shakespeare was a man and romantic and sensitive.  Jesus was a man and was kind and loving.  But.... they were men because they had a specific biology.  We have had many women throughout history that have led armies and done great things, but the women's movements of the day don't say... well, Joan of Arc was a man so not an inspiration to us.

So, while I support people choosing to believe whatever they want about themselves and live however they choose to live, I can tell them and you this.  There is one way that will be easiest, most accepted, and lead to successful romantic matchings and lifestyle goals, and that is to trust your biology and be the best man or woman to your romantic match that you can be.  People were not designed to live alone... they were not made male AND female.  We were made... like all animals.. to find a mate and live as one with them.  Then and only then will we be... whole.

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