Thursday, January 26, 2023


 I am different than most. I know it.  It doesn't change the fact that I'm like that or stop me from being like that.  How am I different?  I could say that it's an off shoot of being an accountant, but I was like that before choosing that job.  I have the need to weigh things... fairness, truth, balance, etc.  These are the hallmarks of my personality.  Combined with my independence from political parties or distaste for bowing to those in power, I am left being a universal auditor.... observing, thinking, weighing, concluding... even if it is against those in power.

In Harry Potter, I have always thought that I fit best with Hufflepuff's house.  The other day, I was re-watching Fantastic Beasts, and Dumbledore told Newt why he liked him so much, "You don't seek power or popularity. You simply ask, is the thing right in itself."  Newt is a Hufflepuff, and fairness is a quality of theirs... and of mine. 

I also have had a close relationship with God over my life.  I feel his personality and guide along the way and am sensitive to the urges for course correction and etc.  Yet, it doesn't change my objectivity of God, HIMSELF.  And, I have openly told Him he was wrong at times or questioned the plan.  Much like Abraham, when he told God that He was wrong to judge Sodom and Gomorrah and negotiated for their lives.  What's more, though... just like Abraham.. I have found that God LIKES it when I reason with Him.  He likes my objectivity, and I often feel that I am a witness between God and Satan, each trying to prove their side right and the other wrong.  I don't care about sides, though.  To me.. it is that it is, and you are either being right, or you are not.

Several weeks ago, God told me that He would bring about love for me, or "hell would raise."  At the time I thought that was quite a statement and felt that I was important for Him saying it.  However, he MUST be fair and provide, or it all comes crashing down.  If God were to be proven to be not fair, it would eliminate his authority as judge.  Would He still have power to subject everyone to Him...sure.  But, would he be RIGHTEOUS and HOLY for doing it.. no.

That's why God listens to prayer.  That's why He cannot turn a blind eye.  And, that's why I believe Christianity over other religion (not the failed church but the true religion), because it would only be FAIR for a LOVING God that asks man to sacrifice for others to provide a means of escape for SIN... and that escape must still satisfy the need for justice.  Only Christ satisfies both justice AND mercy, so that is my chosen religion.  Yet... if God were ever to fail even ONE PERSON in providing a "means of escape" to a trial or allow punishment unjustly, His claim to be judge fails, and ... hell ... could rise.

I used to think that I was a prophet, because I heard so clearly from God.  But, lately, I have come to think it is something else, entirely.  I don't speak to condemn or say "thus says the Lord."  I notice when things ... or gods.. are true and when they are not.  I think I am an anointing that hasn't really been used for a long time... a judge (by heart and personality).  I cannot but be objective and observant, because that is who I am made to be.  Yes, I notice falsehoods or failures, but I also notice caring hearts and worthy actions.  I am a servant of the power before whom all must bow.. including God, Truth.

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