Wednesday, February 15, 2023

What I'm Learning Series

 I have decided to keep the blog going but with a different perspective.

In 5 days of not having Facebook even on my phone, I have already learned so much.  I feel I want a place to capture all the lessons that I am learning, so that will be the purpose of the blog, as it relates to happiness and the search for your version.

Why did I say YOUR VERSION?  One of the lesson that I have realized is that happiness is different for everyone, so your picture of happiness and how you achieve it will be different, too.  Therefore, this blog CANNOT tell you how to be happy.  All I can do is give you universal principles for you to use in achieving yours, if they apply to your situation.

The journey to happiness must start with a question... what makes me happy?  Then, YOU build a road that includes those things.  

One of the things that I didn't realize was true about my behavior over the last few years.. and I would have been angry if you suggested it was true.. is that I was crafting my life and goals to an audience.  I felt that I needed OTHERS involved in my journey with me.  And, as I said in the last post, I had too high of expectations for connections that you have with people on social media.  In the end, it is YOUR life, and almost all of those that receive your feed have a different standard and definition of what happiness is TO THEM.  Only you can walk your road, just as you must let them walk theirs.

In the quiet of social media avoidance, I realized something else, too... something kinda odd but absolutely necessary.  You MUST include discomfort.  If you look at nature, most forces are being PUSHED, SUCKED, SQUASHED and more.  Almost everything you do in life requires some force being placed on something to get a result that you want.  If you want to get fit, you must exercise.  If you want to gain money, you must work.  If you want to find love, you MUST place yourself in uncomfortable situations (out of your comfort zone) to know what you want and what you don't.  One outcome of this realization is that I am going to do something I never thought I would do.  I am going to make my profiles "dating only" or non commitment.  That runs contrary to my long term goals.  However, to be very honest, I need a little more time to figure out what I want and to build myself up to a self image that I want them to see.  I also need more practice.  I have had several conversations over the last week online, and I observed myself and how I felt as I did it.  I realized that I very easily cater to THEIR wants in a relationship, even when it wasn't true for myself.  That shouldn't happen.  As I said in a video I put on Instagram (the only social media I am still using.. justwaitkc123), everyone should not try to be the kind of guy that is popular or that stereotypes say but figure out what YOUR strength is to women and be the best of that.  I am good at being a planner, bill payer, listener, and like to provide gifts and security.  That's what I need to build.  But... in the mean time, I want to have some fun and experience a pressure free dating life, at least for the next 6 months.

So, my agenda in my life is to quantify what makes me happy for myself and to spend more time in those areas.  I would suggest you do the same.  I will also be using my YouTube for continued playlists and video posts in the weeks to come.  Here's that link

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