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Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Modern Class Warfare in America - Tulsa, Ok

I have decided to finally go forward with a post theme that I have been considering for a long time... modern class warfare in America.  For today's example, I will be using the location that I just moved away from - Tulsa, Ok, though this is a story that can be illustrated throughout the country.

The pictures, above, are from the Southern Hills Country Club and the area just outside of it.  I had never been inside of that country club, until I was called to deliver someone into it's gates as an Uber driver and was told that I could "show myself out" by a preppy early 20s girl that had the attitude of Ivanka Trump of being above everyone that they use.  When I went into the gate, I was astonished.  Above on the lower right, you see two pictures of the area just outside of the country apartment building that had bars on the windows and a long abandoned shopping enter with damage to the building.  The picture to the top is the street view looking down one side of the club on the left and the scary shopping center on the right.  You will notice that along the country club runs a bush line.  That bush line surrounds the entire country club, so no one from outside can see inside.  The lower left hand of the above image are just a few pics of its opulence. 

This is just one of about 50 examples of such contrast within the "holy city" (as they call it) of Oral Robert's city of Tulsa.  Indeed, Oral Roberts University is just a block south of that location, where you can see a HUGE cathedral and gold trimmed university, right next to condemned landscapes. But, that is only one of several such church contrasts, as well...similar to the Rhema Church HUGE building standing directly across the street from a run down two unit poverty aid center.

In a very REAL sense, the mega churches in Tulsa are like the Casinos that are in the area, as well.  They are very glitzy, and the community is poor....and for the same reason, the churches and the casinos are BOTH rich by way of the money taken from the poverty community around them.  However, it is not that the rich there are that way from being in the churches but rather the churches are just a subset of the rich, which expands far beyond the church walls into opulent shopping centers and communities just yards from the poor...and those rich that I shuttled around in my car were not concerned about the poor but saw the poor as just trying to take advantage of the rich by....BEGGING ..and telling me that the city should really do something about them.

Sound familiar?  This is the SAME attitude of the upper class GOP that PROTEST having to pay taxes for the poor and homeless,who they assume are milking the system for money, when ...having lived as one of those poor most of my life...they are just trying to, breath, and have electricity.  So what if they also have alcohol?  Indeed, many a night a little beer has helped me forget just how forgotten I am by the world.

And, they do feel forgotten, and I have seen in my life this division growing...the rich feeling superior and burdened by the poor, and the poor that absolutely HATE the entitled rich.  So, I am starting these posts to illustrate the conflict between these groups, as we enter into a cycle seen for thousands of years by peasants overthrowing the rich royalty, but THIS time happening on a society...a democracy ...level, as well.  It will be interesting to see how that conflict plays out.

Sunday, August 27, 2017


 “The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not fighting the old, but on building the new.”  - Socrates

It took me quite some time to realize that truth found in the above quote, and I still fail at it, often.  It's a kind of relationship shell shock that settles into someone, when you have experienced the kind of toxic environment that leads to divorce.  You leave that divorce (or broken relationship) feeling shattered and depleted and having doubts about yourself...even if you are sure of yourself in the breakup's reasons.  

Then, that doubt and the response to it causes a panic to set in....what if there is NO ONE out there that gets me, and I will be alone?  It causes you down a path of re-examination that I would suggest that EVERYONE allow themselves the time to take, because you learn a lot about yourself in the process.

I remember when I started dating that a common occurrence that I would find was what I called the "walking wounded."  They were those that had not got over their ex.  Either they tried to make those they meet to be their ex and blame them for everything, or they would try to fill the void left by their ex.  Either way, their focus was still ON THEIR EX.  

That is what holds them back, and, if that is where you are, I would suggest you consider this.  Why are you taking your personal limitations and defining your solutions by the expectations of someone that didn't appreciate you.  If they didn't get you, why should they have power to keep you from finding something better?  Further, if they didn't get you, they obviously fail the test of being someone worth listening to about anything regarding you.

This is your time of exploration.  It took YEARS after my ex to REMEMBER and DISCOVER what I was and what I wanted, and by the time I met my NOW wife, I was much more aware of who that was in order to know that she fulfilled those longings.

This can be a confusing world, and, whether it be a relationship change or a geographical change, it is worth taking the time to mentally choose to STOP comparing it to the past that did NOT work, and start looking for the solution for how it DOES.'s different, but that different can be good...very good, in fact, if you let yourself grow from where you used to be as you move toward where you want to go.

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Why Breaking Stereotypes Matter

A couple times, now, I have blogged on the fact that, since I was very young, I didn't really fit the standard...let's watch boxing...macho stereotype.  I have been sensitive and caring, since I was very young...empathetic and creative and cultured and artistic.  Anyone that has known me as known this is how I am, and they appreciated am ear to hear them and REALLY listen and relate.

It is how my wife has known me and is one reason that she likes me, even as I am...the same with my kids.  HOWEVER, that has not stopped the subject of this blog from happening....STEREOTYPES....even among them or among my friends.

What do I mean?  Let me give you just a few examples. 

My Kids....

Often times, I face situations where I am home from work, and my kids won't share their day with me, because they think that I am not interested.  I was at work, all day, and they figure that I am only interested in work, so they share their days with my wife.  The problem is that I WANT to hear those things, much more than work. 

Then, there is times that they are afraid to share things with me that they fear or ways that they failed.  Why?  Because, they think that I am going to be angry and punish them for it.

Do they have experience in EITHER of these things with me?  No.  In fact, they have experience to the contrary, where I asked about their day or offered to help them.  However, they assume this, because...I MUST be that a "man."


I can give one example at my last employer that illustrates the problem with employers, though it is not unique to that employer.  I came into my managers office and was telling her that I was planning to leave the company.  When she was asking me why, I explained that the promises that the overtime hours would go away didn't happen, and, instead, I found myself more and more away from my family.  The manager asked to have time to work out a solution for me.  I agreed.

A few weeks passed, and the manager called me back in and said I would be happy.  I was expecting help on the desk and less hours at work, and she said that she had talked to her boss and had agreed to pay me MORE for the same level of work I was doing and more than that if I did more work.  You see...she ASSUMED that a "man" that my priority was MONEY, not family.

My wife..

I said that my wife liked this about me, and that is true.  However, I cannot count the number of times that I have had to...and STILL have with stereotypes by her about myself.  It's not her fault...that is how society tells her I would be.  So, she wants to help, and she offers to make more money or give me a coffee on the way out the door or massage my shoulders, when they are sore.  I appreciate all o these things...a lot. 

However, the problem isn't that I want support in my difficult days....I don't want difficult days.  It's not so much that I want appreciation (though that is nice), it's that I want to be given gifts and complements and to be listened to when I hurt...heard out in my struggle.  However, the fact that I am struggling often makes her feel that she failed me, and it becomes about whether I appreciate what she is doing, more than what I am feeling.

I don't blame her for see...that is how women are PROGRAMMED to feel about a MAN I am judging and blaming others, even if I am not.  She has to circumvent an entire society to understand me, and that is difficult.

And, THAT IS THE POINT...of this blog.  THIS is why stereotype breaking matters.  Not everyone fits a perfect little box, and when we tell the world that THIS is how men are or women are or whatever, it can have long lasting and fictional interference in otherwise very happy lives.

If we would all just say...Hi I am a new species called KEN, judge me only by me, then I think the whole world would be a much happier place.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

LEARNING the Lessons of Racism (or Repeating Them)

I have been wanting to do a blog on this for a while, and the recent events are the perfect opportunity to do the blog post.  It is about time that we talked about the "southern heritage" of slavery.

When I first began college, I was picking what frat I would join.  After looking at several of them, I chose Kappa Alpha, because they stood when women entered the room and expressed themselves as being southern "gentlemen" and honoring God and women.  Sounded like a good organization, at least in it's ideals.  Indeed, they also presented themselves as being in the tradition of Knights Templar and had books of standing for the weak and oppressed.

Of course, I learned, all of that was B.S.  It was a existed for one reason.  It gave the boys in it the chance to DRINK in a house on a "christian" school and have women overnight in their rooms.  Those "gentlemen" traditions were well crafted babe magnets, who weren't naive girls that thought they were really innocent men.  Most of them were horny girls looking to get laid and those sweet things being said were a good excuse.  I realized this soon enough to not get fully involved with them...however, it did give me an insider view of the frat house, including their worship of Robert E Lee as their "spiritual founder." a man that fought a war to defend the states' rights to allow people to OWN people was the "spiritual" founder of this organization that "honored" God and stood for the "weak"...I guess ignoring the weak that were say...BLACK and being abused by that culture.

I understand this misunderstanding in our society.  Many movies have been made that romanticized the south in the Civil War and made you think of those Southern Leaders as being champions of virtue, even as almost NONE of those movies showed those generals or soldiers with the people that they OWNED.

Yes, it is true that not only the south had slaves...the north did, also, at times.  However, the CONFEDERATE FLAG WAS THE SYMBOL OF THOSE THAT FOUGHT TO OWN THEM.  It is one thing to go along with an unpopular thing that is wrong, but it is another thing completely to fight to keep doing wrong.  So, when people, today, wave that flag around, it is not just a current state flag.  It is a symbol.  It was waved by an army with a purpose.  You can't take a Nazi flag and say you are waving it around because you like windmills.  No one would buy that.  Indeed, even today, it is used in EVERY march of white racists and fascists in the country, as well as southern hicks with gun racks in trucks by rednecks that spout the "evil" of affirmative action and praise cops shooting black teens on the street.

So,maybe, we can look at all that is happening and those that are promoting group hatred (whether that group be black or Muslim or Liberal) and maybe we can learn the lessons of the past, rather than chart a course to repeating them in our day.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Do We NEED all Genders in Raising a Child?

And for my second act of poking the bear, let me challenge an assumption in society that says it is important to raise a child with TWO genders of parents raising them.

I grew up with one a-hole of a dad.  He was a carpenter, and he liked to drag us onto job sites and hunting and fishing.  He drove a truck.  He was one of 12 kids by his father.  He liked football, and he had a 22 gauge rifle.

But, what I remember about my dad was not any of that.  What I remember from him was someone that would come in from work, sit in his chair and yell at us, if we got in the way of his tv time.  I, also, remember him whipping us with his leather belt, if we did anything embarrassing to him, like when I put gum in a song book at church.  I remember that he NEVER said he loved me or was proud of me but always criticized me.  Finally, I remember finding excuses to be out of the house, so I wouldn't have to be around him.

Now....SOCIETY would tell you that it was important for me to experience the FEAR and depression that came from living in that house....that somehow living with him was a cause of the person I would become.  The ONLY way that that could be true is if I compare him to a dead virus that, when injected into me, caused my immune system to be able to detect and defeat all similar infections in my life from that point, forward.  But, hey...he was a MAN, and indeed he was.  The characteristic of a male person that is cold, aggressive, punishing, sports fan, hunter is VERY popular in the world, today.  But, does it benefit a CHILD to be exposed to it?  I thank God I am NOT that much of a MAN with my family and child.

Now, men are not the only example I could give, and there are many stories that others could give of their mother's influence on their lives that were destructive.  I can just point to my own experience to ask a simple question.  Is it a FACT that both genders  add something of value to their children, or is it a quaint little saying that anti-divorce preachers started saying to keep dysfunctional families living in agony, when they could find peace and happiness by moving on to others that DO benefit them...and not necessarily of a different gender or even a different sex.  If you don't know the difference, I encourage you to google gender and sex. 

I, myself, found a similar gender in the opposite sex, because I don't it into the male "box" very well, and kids are not missing anything, and I couldn't be happier.  No.  Kids don't HAVE to have brooding fathers that punish and fight and command, and they don't HAVE to have examples of the moral failures some women do, either.  What they DO need is a parent or parents that LOVE them, and that is the key to happiness in the family and their development to becoming happy adults.

Let's Talk about Sex

And, now a blog about a very fun subject and a very fun act.... Sex. Some people shy away from controversial subjects, and that is fine.  However, it's kinda my signature... Saying what needs to be said by people staying quiet out of fear.  But, once you reach 40, the desire to please anyone's expectations of you goes out the door, as you realize you spent the first half of YOUR life living for others.

So, on to the subject at hand.  Sex.  This blog is about finding the path to happiness. Well for all of its critics, sex when used appropriately definitely bring happiness. In fact, I would call it an essential part of human existence in finding happiness. We are human beings in physical bodies. Those bodies have needs, and these bodies have senses that allow us to enjoy things or feel pain. Why should we restrict ourselves from all the good.

Now I'm not saying that people should run out and be whores or prostitutes.. Nor am I saying that any relationship should be based in sex or  sex with more than one is better. As with all good things, it can be abused.

However, lets be real. Everyone likes different things, sexually.  If you hold the belief that no one should be physical before marriage, then how are you going to know that you have anything other than a friendship on the other side? I believe that many divorces in this country today are caused not by early sex but by entering into relationships before they know who the other person really is and that includes sexually. I believe that many people follow this strict rules against being physical and spend plenty of time together and get to know each other on a strong friendship level.  Then, after the marriage, they are waiting for some spark to come in and bring passion and sex, when they have never lit the spark to begin with..only to find that all they really are is friends.

So I feel that it is important to be physical early and often in the relationship, before marriage and after marriage.

You can do it missionary..which is funny, because I don't know if anyone can picture a missionary having sex... Or you can do it doggy style or you can do it oral or you can do it with objects or masks or anything that your heart desires. Just do it the nike slogan goes. I guarantee you..if you do it will definitely be happy, and why shouldn't you be happy with the one that you love? When you get older, you'll wish you had those memories, instead of pleasing those who don't even know you exist.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

If Trump Really Was... Racist, Russian, Mobster, etc.. What Would He Be Doing Different?

I think the press and general society keep giving Trump a pass on many things, because they assume that he couldn't POSSIBLY be as bad as he is portrayed, and that is his excuse to be even worse.  The country needs to wake up and start asking a question, if he WAS ...any of those things..what would he be doing any differently?

For example, we are talking this week about Trump's words defending the White Nationalist violence against the public.  You know... running a car over groups of people they didn't like...the VERY same act that he declared as "terrorism" when it was done by a Muslim in UK but is justifiable in the US, because I guess..they are Christian and they victims deserved it?

So, the news of the day is that Trumps OWN business advisory councils made up of CEO's of businesses had resigned from his councils, after his words, citing BOTH racism and their lack of expectation that Trump will accomplish ANY positive change in business.  Get that?  We elected Trump to be President, because he was good at business, but his own BUSINESS leaders on his councils resigned saying he is a failure at getting anything accomplished.  So, why is he President, again?

But, to get back on point....the public seems to think that Trump couldn't possibly be a ...racist... fascist....Russian implant....sexually harrassing...gangster, even when he is defending acts of violence against blacks (who his justice department authorized police to abuse without repercussion), when he defends NAZI violence, when he gives Putin EVERYTHING he wants of America, when he says sexually harrassing statements of wives of heads of state, and when he encourages his followers to beat up his enemies and takes them out of office, himself.  Indeed, when he is under investigation, he fired THREE FBI directors that were investigating him and said the next one better not.  What exactly DOES it take for the public to GET IT?

So, just ask youself.  If Trump REALLY was not guilty of all of these things, why would he be acting against himself, and why are YOU more apt to believe the words of a liar than acts of one?  That just makes you an accomplice, and you will stand guilty of all that follows.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Labor Pains

It has been a busy and stressful couple of weeks, but I expected that it would be this way.  Women understand a concept, as relates to the birth of a child that I don't think tough guy men think about....labor pains.  This is directly applicable to where my family is in this moment.

Basically, labor pains happen after a period of expectation and before the new reality to come.  The woman has spent 9 months of preparation and expectation of waiting for things to change, and it has been accompanied by periods of difficulty or being uncomfortable.  Then, those periods increase to the point that something NEEDS to change, and the change happening takes over all attention and demands primary focus.

Thus begins the period of labor pains.  The woman, drawn into full focus on the coming reality, experiences intense waves of pain, until there is great joy at seeing the reality of their hope in their arms.

Similarly, I believe, the reality of my wife and I's lifestyle pregnancy started upon our marriage to each other and even before it.  As each month passed, we faced one element of the prior life falling away after another.  Things that USED to be important to us (just like a pregnant woman's previous party lifestyle) were not as important as the reality that is NOW before us, namely each other and the love that was standing in front of us on every date and event. 

Then, we got to this summer, and my career focus change provided us with the perfect focus change....step away from the past and into the future, and it has been a liberating experience.

Yes, we have DEFINITELY experienced difficulties in the last few months, from criminal behavior on the part of the apts we left to ex's to finding a new place to live and the expenses related to all that.  However, as these labor pains of change happened, we have found ourselves pulling closer to each other and more liberated to be longer required to be as people of the past wanted us to be but, now, ON OUR OWN away from controlling relatives and situations that defined us from our past, so we could define our future.

However, it is definitely good that those labor pains from the change are passing, and it is nice that we are FINALLY feeling the beginnings of the foundation of the new, ahead.  I am definitely looking forward to the days ahead, as we step out into the new realm of our own potential.  Full spead ahead.

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Modern Racism

As evidenced by the white nationalist rally and the violence that has followed, there has been a revival of racism and hatred that has risen up in the last decade.  Last decade you ask?  It has been around for centuries in these regions, you would say.  And, while I would agree with you that every place that we are seeing this pro-white, Republican racism in this day, it used to be legal to OWN black people (and in fact this protest was about the removal of the tribute to that slave owning culture)... I do have to say that it didn't used to be this way in the last half century.

I grew up in a midwestern southern state, and while I did a post about their moral failures (to counter their superior morals claims) in a recent post, I do have to testify in the other direction on their behalf with regards to racism.

I grew up in the 80s in Oklahoma, and above are a collection of just a few of the black artists and shows that we watched as kids.  I learned how to moon walk with Michael Jackson and do all kinds of break dancing.  I knew every word of several of Prince's tunes.  I watched every episode of Different Strokes, the Cosby show, and didn't just watch Coming to America but ALL Eddie Murphy movie.

Indeed, it wasn't just limited to black culture, but I raised my kids on the popular movies about an Arab called Alladin, as well as all color of Disney character diversity.  Robin Hood Prince of Thieves was a HUGE hit at the box office with a Muslim called azheem, played by the man that Christians would call "God" in several movies, Morgan Freeman.

But, ten years passed and suddenly they are all supposed to be greedy and angry races intent on our destruction?  Or, we were so easily swayed that we let a small faction of rich white guys tell us who we were supposed to hate to be truly American or Godly.

Well, I don't know about you, but I don't like anyone telling me who to hate, and I definitely don't like my OWN history and culture of inclusivity suddenly called into question by narrow minded a-holes.

We are better than this, and we should DEFINITELY be more evolved than slave owners were 200 years ago, or have we given up convictions and love in pursuit of war and power?  It's a question that everyone needs to consider.  As for me, I believe we are better off with a wider culture than any one of us can provide with our narrow perspectives, and adding to that diversity is the key to real strength.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Midwestern "values" from Experience

We hear a lot about "midwestern values," especially with the most recent election, but I think it needs to be explained what, exactly, that means, and who better to describe that than myself that grew up in the midwest and have spent most of my life over the decades, here.  So, here is a little about my own experience growing up in the midwest.

I moved to the state of Oklahoma in the 80s in 4th grade.  Most people don't like their experience growing up in schools, but I had a LOT to experience in my life in Oklahoma in that time that would set the foundation for what it means to be an Okie.  Of course, it began with my dad that had grown up, himself, in Oklahoma...and we had moved back to his home town, there.  Well, my dad's "midwest" values included whipping me with a belt at times, constantly scowling angrily in his chair at home...yelling at us if we even changed the channel before he was done with it.  He would NEVER say he loved me or congratulate me on my many accomplishments but, instead, would guilt me into going HUNTING with him or working on his construction site, neither of which I liked to do, telling me it was to toughen me up.  Then, there was my grandma that I recall standing on my front lawn and telling my mother that I was going to hell, because I was attending a Methodist church rather than her Church of Christ church.

School was definitely not a break from this kind of abuse, as I was picked on a LOT growing up, being called "4 eyes" or "thunder thighs" or being de-pantsed on the front lawn of the school.  Indeed, I remember riding to a baseball game, one time, and was woken up to find a starting player of the time holding his penis in front of me in the presence of the other players and asking me to suck it.  I didn't, and they just laughed, but that was the "values" that I lived, growing up. Don't think that boy was a crude nobody, either.  He was son of a public school teacher of a respected family in town.  As I entered high school, I hung out with my cousin a lot, who I think is a great guy.  I ended up spending more time at his house than my own.  He was starting pitcher on the baseball team, and he was classy and fun.  I learned a lot of my dressing style to impress the lady's from him, and I learned to appreciate rock music and horror movies at that house.  However, I did, also, experience my first pages of porn at his house among the other popular baseball playing guys.

But, don't think that was out of character for the midwest.  Indeed, as seen in the pic at the top of this post, I recall that the most popular shows was Dukes of Hazard (popular show about people running from cops), Porky's about people spying on naked ladies, the Best Little Whore House in Texas (played annually on the Oklahoma station), and of course....even to today watching the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders.  Football's crushing of one another continues to be a leading "value" of Oklahoman's as well, as people side up with being a "Sooner" or "Cowboy" of state schools.  A sooner, by the way, is someone that broke the law of settlement.

From my own experience, I can tell you that midwestern values include drama at school bondfires, teenage pregnancy, judgement and condemnation of anyone that is different, bullying, fights, off-roading (illegal use of vehicles) on other people's property, killing animals in hunting that is not for food, drugs and alcohol use, pornography, and....then, proclaiming themselves morally superior to the rest of the nation that DIDN'T do these things in other parts of the country.

So, the next time that someone is preaching about midwestern values, I wanted you to know what that REALLY means and how they REALLY grew up.  It wasn't only in the recent as last year, my daughter was called a "baby killer" and attacked, just for supporting a democrat.  My experience is not moral superiority on the part of the midwest, but self imposed ignorance and abuse.  God help us from that kind of "morals."

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Watch Actions, Not Words, to find Happiness

Three is a scene in We Bought a Zoo, where the zoo owner's son was talking to the lady zoo manager, and she asking him how things are going with the girl that liked him.  He said he doesn't know how to talk to girls, and the manager said...

"...talking to girls is easy. They'll tell you everything. The secret to talking is listening"

Now, what she MEANT was not listening to words, as Lily had said nothing.  She meant....ACTION.

Over the course of the last few years, I have made a change in my life to stop spending time and energy upon those that did not do the same to the mother and sister who had not visited my home in 3 years, despite living nearby or emailed to ask how I was doing... or even expressed any concern or assistance in my visits to them. Or, there is the older daughter that crashed at my house for 2 years, without ever contributing in chores or finances, even as I was spending two hours a day taking her to college for her classes....yet she never once texted me to ask how I was doing or inquired about my job or made any concessions for my schedule.

So, when both of these groups got upset because I no longer were there for them (having pulled back to give myself time), it was time to break the contact, rather than let them emotionally abuse me to their own ends.

Family is not about blood, and friendship is not a social media contact. Both are defined in actions, not words. Always remember this. Someone can say that they care about you, or they can show that they care about you.  If they show it, they don't need to say it; but, if they say it without showing it, it is twice as bad. However, the truth is found in what you can see. 

Now, there are people of faith that are telling you at times that faith is believing without seeing. However, that is not true and not biblical.  Faith must be based in what is real, and what is real can be seen.  Like God, I may be able to see love, but I can see the effects of it. And even in scripture, it cautions us faith that without works is dead... which is an old language way of saying if you can't see it or the effects of it, it isn't real. Also, Jesus told us that we are to judge people by their fruit, which is actions.  Many that call themselves Christians should consider that. If they hate instead of love.

So, if you're in a situation where you're just not sure how to think about someone, plug your ears and watch their actions.  If the actions do not justify your response, stop giving it. You deserve that. Respect yourself, even if they do not give you that respect.  That is a human right, and THAT is a truth you need to apply, if you would make your life happy.

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Imaginary "Gender" and Being "Natural"

I have a hobby of searching out family tree history, sometimes.  It is kinda pointless, because after all the months of searching out this family tree line, you conclude...yup, I was born and had parents who had parents and so on.  It doesn't change who YOU are at all.

However, I remember one thing from it that is applicable, here.  In one of my family tree lines, I saw that this generation of one family tree line was from "Tennessee" and the prior generation was from "Georgia."  I remember thinking ah..what caused them to move from this state to that state in those years, until I realized that it was the SAME TOWN, and my ancestors had not moved...the state line had moved.

This is a great examples of "gender" to me.  We, in this country in this time period, have the arrogance to say that THIS is what defines "men" and THAT is what defines "women" for all people of all times.  However, is that really true?

First, let's consider other cultures.  Over in Scotland, it is appropriate for men to wear skirts called kilts.  In Europe, it is appropriate for men to like the arts and be passionate about love, culture, cooking, and fashion.  Indeed, as we walk through department stores in America, you will find MEN names at the head of many women's purses, shoes, clothes, jewelry, and perfume....meaning that those men had CREATED the designs that women love...which would be hard to do if the men of those names didn't share the interests and designs.  I, recently, walked through the Dallas Museum of Art with my wife, and I was noticing what I already knew to be the case...we were looking at paintings of who not only liked the arts but DEFINED it to generations.

But, that is another time, and that is another point.  We arrogantly defined what it means to have specific genders upon our time period, when history betrays us.  Shakespeare is perhaps one of the greatest love and romance writers of all time, and he was a MAN.  All of his performers were MEN.  Indeed, for thousands of years, almost all theater performers were men, but we determine that those who do the arts, today, must be "feminine"...upon our current day definition of that word.  Also, if you are talking about the "feminine" characteristic of wearing jewelry, having hair done, and wearing makeup, I hate to disappoint you but, before the recent centuries, that was done by not only MEN but MEN of POWER.  Have you SEEN the gold that the Egyptian Pharaoh would wear or the robes....not calling them dresses..of the ROMAN Caesars and such?

Indeed, if you look at nature, you will see that this is actually common.  It is usually the MALE animal that is the most colorful or decorated, and the male lion has the mane, while the female lions were rather plane...and in fact the female would do the hunting.  Notice I said ANIMALS, also, because most plants are BOTH male and female in one plant.  So, when people are condemned by conservatives for not being "natural" by not being a male extreme or female extreme in our current definition of those words, they are actually being more true with NATURE than the conservative.

I think the problem is that our current age...and conservatives specifically...have a problem spectrums or the color gray.  They LOVE to speak in black and white and put people and things in boxes; however, they define those boxes by their prejudices and the center of the bell curve for that thing.  For those that don't know, a bell curve is a graphic tool that shows how, given the statistical sampling of how things are, they often fall into a curve that begins at the bottom, rises to a peak, and drops to a bottom, in a smooth line.  Then, conservatives take that center point and define EVERYTHING by the center point, even if that is not actually true.

So, like my geography lesson at the start of this, GENDER (just like race and party and religion) have had their definitions changed over time, and people that have lived in the same way and location without moving have found themselves defined DIFFERENTLY in a world of shifting perspectives.

If you are out there and you are feeling that you just don't fit into the bubbles that they have set for you, and you feel you must be strange or unnatural, just dismiss the critics.  The fact is that by being yourself you ARE NATURE, as nature created you.  Be yourself, like who you want, and follow your bliss.  Just FORGET gender definitions that always seem to change and are only created by those wishing to control and, instead, just fall in love with being yourself.  THAT is a path to happiness.

Living in a Careless Culture

Over the course of the last week, I have had more personal examples (as well as seeing news examples) of something that I have said in the past in my blogs and feel it needs to be said, again.  A lot of people see what is happening on the national stage or see others short changing, mischarging, or just being unfair to them and take a defensive response to it, suggesting that they are being "attacked" by someone or something.  In rare cases, this is true....when someone truly wishes you harm and wants to maliciously make that happen to you.  However, most of the time it isn't their desire to do you harm that is the cause, it is JUST NOT CARING what happens to you.

In the course of my most recent move, I have had a couple examples of that, where someone double charged/ overcharged me or under paid me.  When pressed on it, they finally admitted that they had made a "error" but blamed others or defended themselves by saying it wasn't intentional.  That sounds very familiar.  When I used to deal with my ex (before I finally cut off communication), I used to hear that a LOT..."I didn't MEAN to do you wrong, I just didn't think about it" would be her defense...again and again and again over the same things.  That is the defense all of these type of people give...that it wasn't malicious only careless, as if that makes it all the better.

As I used to say to my daughter, if I carelessly hit someone with my car, they are still dead.  If I carelessly fail to pay a utility bill, they still shut off my power.  The fact that it is careless doesn't make it better, and I have suggested that it makes it worse, because they have failed to acknowledge you as a person, at all.  When someone intentionally does you wrong, they KNOW you deserve more and wish to deprive you of it.  However, when someone carelessly does you wrong, it means that each time it was done, they didn't CARE how it impacts you.

But, that is the culture we live in, and I think that how it gets political is when people intentionally put others in that state of mind, by keeping them in the fight or flight mentality of having an enemy.  Abraham Maslow created a Pyramid of Human Need in 1943 that has been a cornerstone of human psychology.  It states that if people do not have their physiological needs and safety needs met, they will not progress unto love or self actualization.

I believe that is what is happening with the segment that is currently supporting Trump, but it does not originate with him.  They are already prepped for him by way of conditioning in the church, which I will blog about in a few minutes and post to my magic blog for a spiritual / religious focus of this.  I believe that the Republican Party has realized this way of motivating others above their sense of ethics and empathy by keeping them in a constant state of FEAR ..with loud alerts by Fox News and speeches talking about the threat of Islamic terror on our country, when since 911 the rate of deaths by Islamic terrorism in the USA is one person per year (see a previous blog on this).  So, the sheep are being led by the shepherd out of fear of the imaginary wolf, much like the movie The Village, which I would recommend to anyone to see.

By keeping them in a state of fear about their safety (needing a WALL to shelter them is a great clue), they keep them from even THINKING about the loss of others.  So, when they tell them that we must cut the social aid programs or healthcare of the poor in order to fund PROTECTION from this threat, they have used Maslow to create the careless culture of which I speak.  It isn't that they WANT the poor to die or suffer, they have just been conditioned to JUST NOT CARE.

Obviously, we can't fix this by pointing it out to them or telling them to care.  Their minds are fixed in fear and stuck in the stage that prevents them from even USING logic or empathy.  All we can do is spead the message of love and questioning the imagined demons around the bend and reminding them that life can and is being lived in happiness by some.  Maybe, then, they will choose to step past fear into freedom.

Friday, August 4, 2017

Republican Zombie Apocalypse

I have been thinking for over a year that we must have crossed over into a diversion of the species, via evolution...and the mutated species doesn't even believe in evolution...ha.  They walk around thinking that they are completely normal...all the while attacking the norms as perverse.

At least, it seems that we can isolate the diversion into one  political party and...even religious faction... the Religious Right of the Republican Party.

Now, why do I say that they have crossed a line into an evolutionary diversion?  Well, if there is one case of something here or is a minor glitch...a hereditory hiccup, and that has happened many times.  However, when you see an entire culture become affected, it is a larger could indicate a species change.

What really brought it out to a reality for me was the last election at the start but MUCH MORE in the year to follow.  Now, I don't believe it was possible to get all the way to the election, without knowing how Trump is....if there is ONE PERSON in this country with absolutely NO filter on his mouth or twitter account, it is this man.  What he believes...he says, eventually.  Even during the election, we knew that he was an adulterer, having cheated on each of his wives with the next one, and he openly bragged about the claim that he was pursuing a married woman and that being a celebrity allowed him to grab women by their sexual parts.  Further, it was known that he didn't have a plan on HOW to run the government or even pay for his wall, all of which has been seen after the election.

And, that is where I come to my point.  AFTER the election, Trump has hired and fired his cabinet, passed a total of NO policies he said was priorities, been exposed for espionage on behalf of a foreign government who he is still benefiting with his policies, failed to reach out to the other party despite winning less than half the country's votes, passed policies that step us back on racial reconcilation, rejected the world as unworthy to enter our country, amped up several wars, promoted cutting aid for the poor and elderly, and STILL his party supports him, even though no one else wants to be known for being associated with him.  That is why I say it is genetic.  LOGIC would dictate that they must know he is heartless and greedy and angry, but they support him, anyway, as evidenced by a Washington Post story you will find on my Twitter profile.  Why?  Because they are like him.

The press keeps trying to wake conservatives up to  how Trump is, when what they are missing is that he has not deceived them....he is their DREAM and ROLE model of choice.  Trump didn't cause the evangelical churches to stop donating to the poor and to get them to oppose social aid...that has been happening for decades, as they dance to Pat Robertson's CBN and FOX News drum...both of which are run on profits and have very rich executives off these gullible viewers that donate at the drop of the hat to anything GOP, leaving nothing for the needy.  In fact, rather than GIVE to the needy, they take it from them...or did you think the rich pastors got their suits, cars, planes, and houses from the rich...or is it from donations of the POOR?

And, that is where I get to this post title.  Society has evolved into two groups...those that STILL care for the poor and needy and willingly GIVE to support them, and ZOMBIES that survive and grow by devouring others.  They don't want to think about the fact that there is limited money in the country and that all their riches MUST come from making others poor....but they explicitly let you know they don't want to pay for the poor out of their own pockets in taxes.   It is survival of the fittest and they have determined that THEY are the species that must survive.

But, there is no way to lose friends faster than to bully them, take their money, and refuse to listen to them, and the GOP have definitely displayed their nature to the rest of the world that has rejected them, right along with the President those conservatives love.  So, a comfort in all this is that the majority that rejects Trump, today, will vote Democrat in the future election, and this term will have served as a generational anti-virus to help us know what to fight in the future....which just might save our nation.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Life's an Adventure ..Explore a Little

I'm the kind of person who likes to have things worked out. I like to have a plan and know where things are leading.  At least that's how it's been. Don't get me wrong. I like a diverse world and like being diverse myself, but I always wanted to know that the path that I was on was leading to where I wanted to go. That's changing a little.

Now , I still believe that you should not be on a path that you know does not lead you where you would want to go or leads you somewhere you know you would not want to be.  However, how can you know what you want without exploring a little? Also, it takes a little while for things to develop. I know what I know now, but I don't know what I'll know tomorrow. Its kind of arrogant for me to make decisions on days I have not even seen yet.

I think we all have parts of our soul that we know we have never fully fleshed out. It could be, because they were not popular ... Or, it could be that we just didn't have the time or want to spend that money on it.  Or,  maybe we just didn't believe in ourselves.

In Finding Forrester, Jamal was lecturing his teacher in one scene. He says...

"Yeah, and what's the reason in having a file cabinet full of writing and keeping the shit locked so nobody can read it? What is that man?"

Do you have things locked up in your imagination or your soul that you have yet to develop? I for one intend to take the next year to develop those things I like, so that I know where I want to go.

Dress Lily

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