Tuesday, June 18, 2024

Responsibility and Consequences

 There is an exchange in Beautiful Creatures that I think is a great way to lead off this post.  I'm going to try to get the quote right, because I don't have the movie in front of me and can't find the quote online...

Ethan: You don't have anything to do with the devil, do you?

Lena: That is such a mortal thing to say.

Ethan: There is evil, Lena.

Lena: Of course there is evil casters.  The difference is we didn't create a devil to blame for it.

Does the devil exist?  Personally, I think so, albeit probably not much like is portrayed in the tradition of men.  But, the question is valid, because no one has ever seen the devil in a physical form.  You'd think so with all the way most churches today are singing about waging war on Satan and his followers.

First of all, it wouldn't make sense demons "follow" anyone.. if they rejected God by tradition, why would they follow someone projected to be worse?  But, I digress.

So, where do we SEE the acts of the devil that is condemned?  We see it in the acts of men and women.  They don't want to accept the responsibility or consequences of their actions, so they say, "the devil made me do it."  Then, they claim the blood of the god they killed to be clean to start all over again.  It reminds me of the words of a popular revivalists preacher I saw back in my religious days that pointed this out, saying, "The devil doesn't have your pocketbook. (Wallet)"

No one is good... so says scripture.  It also says that the evil we "fight" is our own "flesh"... it's us, according to the Bible.  But, that's not a popular message in our self centered world.  No... in today's world, I want what I want, and anything that gets in my way is evil, and I must "fight" the devil in the form of anyone that disagrees... why you always hear about spiritual battles near the time of elections, like now.  Let's not forget Pat Robertson was a Republican candidate for President, once.

In my more recent years, I've taken a more logical and objective course.  I analyze everything by facts and am first to admit when the facts point out my errors in judgment or actions, primarily because how can you correct without admitting something doesn't work.  Others will keep looking for the devil and evil, and I'm sure there are many that see that evil in me  despite my not doing anything actually against them but just living my life... when in reality they forget I can see their lives and know they are often living lives blacker than my own... but they have Jesus without confession so they are guilt free. Ha.

Regardless, I'd just end this by saying if you actually DO want to improve your life, you'll get there quicker by looking at what of your choices brings "evil" into your presence or others and making wiser choices to have more peaceful and successful days.

Monday, June 17, 2024


Resisting the urge to angrily blast my ex for what she's done, I'll do a quick synopsis of facts only and then change to a more healthy use of that anger both in blogs and my life.

Synopsis: my ex, diagnosed with Biopolar Manic Depressive Mania mixed with some Schizophrenia paranoid delusions after writing all over herself and the walls and talking gibberish back in 2006 and has lost primary custody of her children in the court for it in the past, has... after my innocence of letting her have primary custody in 2020, defied court custody by blocking my custody time and berated me to my children for months to turn them away from me to the point that on father's day weekend I learned I no longer have any contact  ..one day after my child turned 18, so I can't sue.  That's not me attacking her.  That's simply me recounting history she'd rather not have said.  Needless to say, definitely made the right choice leaving her in 14 years ago and moving away from her this year.

Which leads me to my next point... what do you do when you do everything you can for others and have them burn you and abandon you.  You stoke the fire and burn all the misery and depression away, setting fire to the rain, and use the energy from the flames to power your rebirth.  Like the Phoenix, we don't disappear when we burn.  We transform.

An often mis-sourced quote is good here... "The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new."

That's attributed by many to ancient Socrates but in reality is a more recent Socrates.  Regardless, it's correct.  It's also my plan.  I'm going to take all the anger from being misused and attacked, even after being attacked weeks after moving away from my ex...over 1000 miles away from my blocked ex thar attacked me through my child's phone.. and use that energy to burn down not only my past pains but past fallacies and illusions to take a more logical and factual foundation to a future I know will exist,  because I will build it myself.

And, once that's done, those thar are no longer in my circle of friends or those that did not make an effort towards me when I was down will get no part in the .. bread that's baked to alude to the Red Hen book or success that will follow.  I am a Phoenix in ashes, and I am about to be reborn.

Saturday, June 15, 2024

Dark Light pt 2

I wanted to pick up and continue the Dark Light post theme from several posts back.  And, no.. I do not plan to use this post to address the most recent actions of my ex, even though it certainly qualifies.  I'm keeping this more of a general post, as it actually applies to many things in my life and the lives of others, so I won't cheaper it by making it singular.  It's something I've been wanting to post for a few weeks, so.. here goes.

The saying is that Light is revealing and darkness fears the light.  I've found the reverse to actually be more true in reality.  Does that sound odd?  You might be saying... how can darkness reveal something, if it is dark?  Actually, it does is very effectively.

Consider... you enter a relationship and money is flowing and gifts are coming and all is well, and you KNOW the other person loves you... til the money stops flowing or time is limited or more. Pressure rises, and they turn on you or run away.  Darkness revealed what the light could not.

Or, maybe, it's a job that becomes something you did not see, after they found leverage against you.  Or, it could be hopes or dreams that come face to face with raw power and control.  Or, perhaps it is career choices or lifestyle choices that change when you are faced with the darkest days in them.

The reality is that REALITY cannot truly be known without struggle.  Until that point, a mutually allowed deception does just fine.  People tend to really love their rose colored glasses. I'd advise against it when considering long lasting things like marriage or money decisions.  Until you've "been in the trenches" with those things, you really don't know anything.

So, once again, I want to praise darkness for showing more truth than is often found in the light, though many won't have the honesty to admit it to their detriment.

Friday, June 14, 2024

Lessons For Young Men

I've been thinking for a bit that I wanted to do a lesson post for young men based on my successes and failures over the years... more failures than successes.  So, here goes..

This post will cover different areas of life, but I want to start with interaction with women, because that will be on the minds of most young men.  The advice will be from experience and not the general advice you see out there, because I don't think that advice is very helpful being sanitized to only be the things people say and repeat and not the actual effective advice.  And, it won't necessarily align with what I've said over the years,  as I have learned along the way.

The first thing you need to recognize is that men and women are not the same.  I'm not talking about sex vs gender here.  I'm a big proponent of transgender people, so take my "men" and "women" to reflect to those genders chosen.. regardless of sex.  If you feel it is uneven what you give vs what you get, it probably is...and is uneven in other areas to you.  Why?  That's your area to provide.  Further, women are more sensitive, so they look for and expect certain tender emotionally supportive things that the stereotypical male does not seek and thus women are not conditioned to provide.  The only reason a relationship is even important is that you are different and can provide things to each other that we need.

Next, the woman is always right...if you want to stay in the relationship.  If it is toxic like my first ex was... leave.  Otherwise, happy wife, happy life, as they used to say.  I know that can feel like a hard pill to swallow at times, but after decades of learning I've determined this will always be true.  If she says she wants more.. give more.  If it's minor let it go.  The price of being right is often the price of being alone.

Take pride in working.  I'm not saying women should not work.  I think it's good advice for them, too.  Many times I was looking for validation of my value in others that can easily be found in successful projects at work, promotions, or just a good day of earnings if you are self employed.  Make your own validation by doing the things you know is best for you and others.

Counter to that point, though.  Work is not your life.  Every job I have ever had that had a work community that I felt needed me and would miss me very quickly replaced me and most never spoke to me,  again.  You are just a cog in a very old machine.  Spend time with your family and enjoy the days you have on Earth.  If you can't do that with less money, you definitely won't with more money.

Finally, take time for yourself... golf, fitness, watch sports, to to concerts, listen to music and make playlists, go get drinks... whatever is your thing.  Don't spend all your time focusing on others.  They probably want time for themselves, too... so take the kids so your wife can have it, too, at times.

That's enough for now.  Hope it helps.

Sunday, June 9, 2024


Do you know what I think is the unifying factor in mant of our mental and emotional problems that we have today?  Indeed, I'd say most of them and financial and other problems, as well.  I think it is the expectation of perfection.  It is the perfect enemy... because the enemy is being perfect.

Someone is depressed about their body.  What is the enemy... perfection.  Someone is depressed about their income or family structure or clothing or really anything.  What is the enemy... perfection.

This stretches into the realm of diversity in that someone has an image in their head about how others should look or feel or act.  When they confront many that do not look or feel or act like the perfect stereotype, they are bothered.  Is it the person doing something against them?  No.. it's just not that person's perfect society view.

We are not made to be perfect.  Indeed, the Bible Christians use says it is not possible to be perfect.  ALL are fallen, they say.  Well, surely then after accepting Jesus they will be perfect.  Nope..they will keep not being perfect the rest of their lives.  So, why do we keep using perfection to judge our lives and the lives of others.  Better to be good to others, which everyone can do.. saved or not..and be happy with who you are and accepting of who others are in a changing society.

Failure to reach perfection is not a variance in society.  We all do it.  If you understand that,  a lot of our criticism of ourselves, our lives, and others disappears.  All we really need to do is embrace imperfection in order to be more happy in our lives.

Saturday, June 8, 2024

Basic Training

 I had the thought of doing this post, earlier today, but I forgot for a bit.  So, doing it now.

I was in the National Guard for 8 years and active duty for 2 years.  I definitely have reservations about how our military is being used, but I want to focus on one aspect of the military that most don't spend enough time learning from... Basic Training.

The purpose of basic training is to break you down and build you up with individual confidence.  You enter basic scared and alone.  I remember my moments doing it.  I was gathered with a bunch of others that are also scared and alone.  They joined out of different reasons.  Some joined for scholarship money.  Some joined for family tradition.  Some.. actually.. joined after a life of prison to find a new future for themselves.  However, none were prepared for what lie ahead.

The first two weeks of Basic are called hell weeks.  For weeks you are woke at ungodly hours of the morning by banging trash cans or yelling or more.  The Drill Sargent gets pleasure in catching you off guard and emphsizing your weakness.  They are trained to do it.  You will be forced to spend hours in prone position doing pushups or lifting cans filled with concrete or doing road marches or more.  I remember multiple times taking a shower and feeling half of my muscles spasming in pain and exhaustion, just do have to do more, shortly after.  I honestly wondered if I would die in the process, but I figured that no one would allow them to kill us.

Then, you stop failing as much.  You start doing well at different things.  You do more than you expected.  You last longer in PT than you thought you could.  Slowly, you become confident that you CAN not only survive but do well at being a soldier, and that gives you confidence to do more.

This is another example of the benefit of evil.  No one is trained in basic by being praised and treated well.  They treat you HORRIBLY.  WHY?  It is so that when you are out there in battle with no one to ask for help, YOU can solve your own problems and save others.

People are not trained in wisdom.  They are not made fit by being given a light load.  We have in various ways for CENTURIES or even longer been training people to succeed by first treating them badly to teach them to overcome.  WHY should we expect LIFE to be any different?

You face struggles to learn to overcome and gain confidence.  If you have not learned the lesson, it will feel worse for you, longer.  Then, you can graduate from your struggle and actually be useful for success in your own life and the life of others.

Social Media Links


My Instagram 

My X tho I don't use it often