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Sunday, January 19, 2020

Maintain the Byline

I have learned a lot of lessons in my pursuit of online income and self employment in the modern age.  One of them of which I am just now becoming more aware is the need for personal recognition.  I have generally had a sacrificial nature of a servant, so I am always doing things and thinking I don't need recognition for it, whether it be in context of personal favors or work.  I am learning more every day why that is a mistake.

Let's use writing as an example.  A few years ago, I began writing as a freelance project, and I was following the old rules of writing the article, submitting it to the publications and waiting months to hear back on whether it was accepted or not.  However, I learned that most publications had turned to content mills that bought articles cheap from writers that wrote it anonymously.  How could I compete with cheap and easy content like that?  So, I signed up, thinking that I could at least make money for doing what I liked to do.

The problem is that while that is true and you can make some money at it, you are writing without credits and no one knows you did it.  You retain no CREDIT for it, outside of your own mind and bank account, so no one will come to you for more content.  Further, if you decide to leave the content mill....for example when mine lowered my rates of cannot take those articles WITH you as writing ability proof to the next writing business.

It is the same way with data entry or many other contract employment positions that I have been doing.  They do PAY you for your work, but you cannot take that with you as work experience that counts to any other place, because neither you nor the company can talk about it.  My few books that I have written may not have had much in terms of sales (thought many downloads for free), but I can at least look at them and promote them as MINE.

This is true of not only writing but other areas of life.  It all sounds well and good when you get paid for your work as reward, but my advice to you would be that as you do that, make time for some personal works for personal credit, as well....even if free.  Your self esteem and resume will thank you.

Friday, January 17, 2020

FORWARD ... More Info on Personal Changes

I feel the need to explain a few things that are changing in my own life...things that I just glossed over without explanation.  It will not be spiteful or attacking, but I will instead explain why it is something that is settled and from which my wife and I are moving toward more functional outcomes. 

I shouldn't have to explain this.  However, we live in an age (and I live in an area) where the presumption is that if a relationship is ending, it is the man's fault for it happening.  I dealt with it with my first ex, who was and is selfish and vindictive.  I am facing it, again, as I part ways with someone that is more indifferent than anything.  However, the same presumption remains, so I must explain, if I intend to maintain friendships or make new friends and interests in the future.  I plan to leave this explanation to use for reference for others that have questions.

Over the last year, I learned that helping does not always help and giving is not always willingly received.  For someone whose nature is to do those things as a way of showing care, it cuts me off at the knees...and other private parts.  There are a couple reasons that I have determined are the cause, and I see these reasons continuing to be a problem not only for me in the future but for all people in relationships.

1.  Women want to feel able.  This reason is especially true if there is some physical limitation that is affecting them.  So, when my wife had a major flare up of her herniated disc, sending her to the ER and limiting her abilities, I stepped up and increased the amount of things that I was doing around the house and in work income.  However, every action I did FOR her was seen by her as implication she was not able, and she could not receive it without it affecting her self esteem.  The end result of this was that I was doing much out of care for her, but it was being seen as a bad thing...leaving me feeling trapped to be unappreciated for a needed and willingly given service.  To this day, I can't move a piece of her equipment for her or get her an ice pack, without it being a negative.

2.  Women are very set in their "attraction" to be one sort of partner.  That is the one that earns money and buys them gifts...NOT the one that is caring for them and cooking and cleaning and etc.  This feeds back into the last point to a part, and these actions made her feel inadequate, even if done willingly.  Further, as doing these tasks took up time that limited my ability to make money, my income dropped, which only added to the lack of attraction, as I could provide NOTHING for her for gifts or trips or etc.  Further, I wanted to be noticed and cared for as well, as I am and have always been sensitive and caring. 

The end result, therefore, was me passionately doing for her things that made me unattractive TO her.  I think this is a problem that many couples face, as women will continue to want a man that is busy working and not doing things for her, even as they condemn men for being too focused on themselves and not doing things for them.  It is really an unwinnable situation for men...and even moreso for those that do not choose that label.  All we are doing is being the sensitive and kind person that brought the attention of women, and the end result of that is being rejected for the SAME THING...the same lack of being what we never were.

As the Fall progressed, I went to radical extremes and said that I was going to work hard and give her gifts and was not going to "give up" on the situation, after she had concluded and said to me that it was never going to work.  This was seen as me not accepting her conclusion and choosing for her to make it work.  It was at that point that it hit me solidly and conclusively....there would not be anything that I could do one way or the other to make this work, and that is when we have begun to live as separate individuals and make long term plans for being friends and not a couple.  For economic, healthcare, and family reasons; we are not going to be getting a divorce, yet...but it will happen at a stable point where we both can do so.

I am not bitter at her, and I am not angry.  I have moments, like today, where I feel that I never was given the chance to succeed, but the reality is that even given the chance it would have led to the eventual same course.  We did not work and do not work, because we are both so similar and both so caring and sensitive.  That has led us to peacefully separate from each other and maintain our friendship.  I wish her well in her future endeavors with other men, though I am doubtful that any relationship can work for anyone.  I just felt, as I said at the start, that I needed to explain this so as to make our decision clear and remove blame from the formula.  We did not work, because relationships do not least not for me.  My kindness leading to lack of interest has killed more than one relationship, and I expect it would, again.

I hope this clears things up.

Seed Upon Hard Soil (false opportunities)

Sometimes, we condemn ourselves for things that were never possible at all, which can never be our fault.  If it is not possible, it is not possible.  Some "opportunities" were illusions, even if they were positively intended.  When that happens, we must recognize it and move forward.

This happens in both work and relationships.  Someone says that they want you, and they present themselves as being interested in you as  you are.  They present themselves as being open to you and hopeful about you.  However, upon beginning they begin being critical of you and closed to you.  After getting you by acknowledging your values, they soon ignore those values and notice the failures.  If you point it out, it is taken as an attack on them for not noticing, and after that point every good deed becomes a test of whether they do it or not.  If they do, they feel they are being forced to do it.  If they do not, it confirms the neglect.  This only ends one way....ending.

Unfortunately, I have determined that this is the natural progression of all relationships...both work and personal.  It has been my experience in both arenas.  The worker or person goes out to sow their seeds...hopefully putting forth effort to try to grow something.  However, the soil upon which the seeds fell was never open...just apparently so.  As Jesus says in his parable on the sower, this is a process that is doomed to failure, as the seeds develop no roots and are soon picked away by birds or blown away by wind. 

When that happens, there is no escaping the eventual outcome.  What are you gonna do...suddenly say, "No....don't worry.  I will NOT want to be noticed" or accept disregard in despair?  Everyone likes to be noticed, and they especially like their actions to please others acknowledged, as they are connected to their VALUE, as they came from the heart.  When the response inevitably is criticism, does anyone recover?

You could say...I'll just look for open ground upon which to sow.  However, my experience is that the cycle follows human nature and EVERYONE eventually takes their eyes off others to think about themselves and their needs.

This post is not meant to provide a solution on HOW to survive and avoid this outcome.  It is, instead, encouragement for when this happens to you.  It happens to everyone, eventually.  You are not worse off than others.  If others appear to not have the problem, they have just dropped their expectations for happiness or found it in others. 

Neglect happens.  The solution is not to expect otherwise.  Then, you will not be emotionally wounded or paralyzed to follow the path that leads to temporary happiness, somewhere else.

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Links to my books....

As I prepare to begin writing my new book, a post with info and links to my prior works, available for download and reading at, whether or not you have a can read it in the browser or a free Kindle App on your phone or device, as well.

Radio Free Diatria

The year is 2059, 40 years after the Reign of Blood wars began, which had through ego and arrogance decimated the world’s population to a fraction of what it had previously been.

After the Global Community Force brought peace to what remained, a few generations have passed, knowing only the absence of war, technological advancement, and the prosperity among those in the new capitals of commerce and civilization. Global Force expansion has stretched outward from the planet and established lunar mining colonies, as well.

The people of Earth felt they had evolved past the destructive natures that had destroyed their planet’s past, and all records of pre-Global Force days had been destroyed to ensure they were not repeated. However, without studying their planet’s past, they might risk having to re-learn them.

This is the setting in which we begin to follow Kate's story, as she navigates love and life in a city where things are not always as they seem and happiness can come where you least expect it.

Main Characters

Kate Meanders – daughter of two lunar scientists on the colony of Alphaz. Top of her engineering class, she has been elevated to work at the regional capital Diatria, where she has been working for a year.

Captain Richard Rowan – A playboy, project-manager at Kate’s location, responsible for the construction and repair of items tasked to Diatria, often too busy chasing women and partying to get anything done.

Mayor McKinsey – Longest running mayor in Diatria history, under whose reign economic success and glamour had abounded for his city.

Becca Lasiter – News Reporter at New Diatria Press, one of the leading newspapers in the region.

Rachael Meanders – Kate’s cousin living on Earth, away from the busy city of Diatria in Exliting Falls province.

Ben Jones – Rugged and grounded friend of Rachael’s with an inviting heart and surprising past


He Said What?

A maturing society, coming of sexuality #metoo story. Amy grew up in a toxic situation, which drove her to achieve to escape. However, the dream she pursued quickly became a nightmare, as she faced her own #metoo moment in the executive, corporate world.

When everything falls apart, her connection to an old friend could be just what she needs for her career, her heart, and for others like her.

Merry Christmas, Holly and Noelle

Once upon a time, a young girl believed in true love. She believed that some day she would meet the perfect man that would come into her life and see her for herself and fall in love with what he saw. Then, Noelle grew up.

Life became busy, and others became busier. Soon, she forgot her dream about finding true love, because no one saw her for who she fact... no one saw her at all. So, Noelle grew up, alone. That was ok, because she was better off alone than with those that only seemed to cause her pain. However, the quiet of the dark night would bring back the voice of the child still calling into the night for her romantic connection.

Yet, the land of adult version of Noelle had shown more frogs than princes for this princess. Heartache after heartache, she never seemed to find the right person. Yet, she held out hope, and that hope birthed the greatest betrayal of all.

Shortly after high school, Noelle met someone that seemed to get her, and she felt that life would FINALLY start for her dream relationship. Yet, six months into her marriage, she was dejected and alone IN a relationship, which was the beginning of years of hell where she did not believe in divorce but lived without faith in love, itself. It would be over a decade, before she would get up the courage and self respect to tell her husband that it was over.

That was a few years ago, and Noelle reflected upon how the events had fallen, as she watched the snow flakes landing upon the park and the bench that supported her. What would become of her, now?

This is the story of restoration, hope, and life that can happen, when and where you least expect it. With a little supernatural nudge from an angel, Noelle finds just that on Christmas eve, with enough heat and passion to light a hundred holiday candles.


An educated study of the overlap, between Christianity and witchcraft, practical applications, and Scripture readings for the beginning Christian Witch.

Table of Contents
-Help for the Hurting - Faith and Witchcraft
-What is a real witch? (join the force)
-Oh PAGAN True, Oh Pagan Tree
-Words Have Power / Secure Your Home
-The POWER to breathe, walk, and etc
-The Magic of Life
-What it means to make "positive" choices...
-Peace in the Storm.. Light in the Dark
-Diversity Is Magical
-Innocent Witches & They Who Burn Them
-Christians Need Their Devil

Practical Applications
-Lucky Charms and Habits
-Binding and Loosing (Faith and the Craft)
-Love and Romance
-The Biblical Practice of Casting Lots
-Amulets and Talismans
-Knotting Spells
-Casting a Spell Circle
-Witch Jars

The Godwitch Christian Devotional

You may be saying, "This is a WITCH Christian Devotional?...I thought Christians hate witches." That is part of the problem. Christianity is being defined by institutions of men, rather than the Biblical message of Jesus.Next, you may be saying, "Who are you to speak on the Bible?" Well, as much as a Bible degree gives THEM credibility to speak, I have the same, B.S. in Religion (Bible Studies Concentration) from the Evangelicals own favorite university, Liberty University, founded by "moral majority" Jerry Falwell, Himself. Even though, few of the loudest voices among Evangelicals even have a degree from any university.However, I do NOT expect you to believe MY words but the WORD they call infallible...the Bible.

This book is a collection of Scripture from the Bible on the fruit of the Spirit, as well as topical collections for use in prayer/spelling sessions. It is not intended for attack on Evangelicals, even though the verses provide an excellent way to shut down their condemnation of you.My goal in my first book, Godwitch, was to illustrate the connections between Christianity and Witchcraft, and this book is meant to provide a means of spiritual connection for witches, lesbians, gays, transgender, the divorced, and more. Jesus doesn't hate you.

In fact, as this book illustrates, he died for you and his message is an open door of love and a message of condemnation of those that would shut that door.May you find it useful in quiet reflection, meditations/spelling/prayer sessions and deepening your connection to the power of the universe, which is waiting to act on your behalf.