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Saturday, August 19, 2017

LEARNING the Lessons of Racism (or Repeating Them)



I have been wanting to do a blog on this for a while, and the recent events are the perfect opportunity to do the blog post.  It is about time that we talked about the "southern heritage" of slavery.

When I first began college, I was picking what frat I would join.  After looking at several of them, I chose Kappa Alpha, because they stood when women entered the room and expressed themselves as being southern "gentlemen" and honoring God and women.  Sounded like a good organization, at least in it's ideals.  Indeed, they also presented themselves as being in the tradition of Knights Templar and had books of standing for the weak and oppressed.

Of course, I learned, all of that was B.S.  It was a FRATURNITY...it existed for one reason.  It gave the boys in it the chance to DRINK in a house on a "christian" school and have women overnight in their rooms.  Those "gentlemen" traditions were well crafted babe magnets, who weren't naive girls that thought they were really innocent men.  Most of them were horny girls looking to get laid and those sweet things being said were a good excuse.  I realized this soon enough to not get fully involved with them...however, it did give me an insider view of the frat house, including their worship of Robert E Lee as their "spiritual founder."

Hmm....so a man that fought a war to defend the states' rights to allow people to OWN people was the "spiritual" founder of this organization that "honored" God and stood for the "weak"...I guess ignoring the weak that were say...BLACK and being abused by that culture.

I understand this misunderstanding in our society.  Many movies have been made that romanticized the south in the Civil War and made you think of those Southern Leaders as being champions of virtue, even as almost NONE of those movies showed those generals or soldiers with the people that they OWNED.

Yes, it is true that not only the south had slaves...the north did, also, at times.  However, the CONFEDERATE FLAG WAS THE SYMBOL OF THOSE THAT FOUGHT TO OWN THEM.  It is one thing to go along with an unpopular thing that is wrong, but it is another thing completely to fight to keep doing wrong.  So, when people, today, wave that flag around, it is not just a current state flag.  It is a symbol.  It was waved by an army with a purpose.  You can't take a Nazi flag and say you are waving it around because you like windmills.  No one would buy that.  Indeed, even today, it is used in EVERY march of white racists and fascists in the country, as well as southern hicks with gun racks in trucks by rednecks that spout the "evil" of affirmative action and praise cops shooting black teens on the street.

So,maybe, we can look at all that is happening and those that are promoting group hatred (whether that group be black or Muslim or Liberal) and maybe we can learn the lessons of the past, rather than chart a course to repeating them in our day.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Do We NEED all Genders in Raising a Child?

And for my second act of poking the bear, let me challenge an assumption in society that says it is important to raise a child with TWO genders of parents raising them.

I grew up with one a-hole of a dad.  He was a carpenter, and he liked to drag us onto job sites and hunting and fishing.  He drove a truck.  He was one of 12 kids by his father.  He liked football, and he had a 22 gauge rifle.

But, what I remember about my dad was not any of that.  What I remember from him was someone that would come in from work, sit in his chair and yell at us, if we got in the way of his tv time.  I, also, remember him whipping us with his leather belt, if we did anything embarrassing to him, like when I put gum in a song book at church.  I remember that he NEVER said he loved me or was proud of me but always criticized me.  Finally, I remember finding excuses to be out of the house, so I wouldn't have to be around him.

Now....SOCIETY would tell you that it was important for me to experience the FEAR and depression that came from living in that house....that somehow living with him was a cause of the person I would become.  The ONLY way that that could be true is if I compare him to a dead virus that, when injected into me, caused my immune system to be able to detect and defeat all similar infections in my life from that point, forward.  But, hey...he was a MAN, and indeed he was.  The characteristic of a male person that is cold, aggressive, punishing, sports fan, hunter is VERY popular in the world, today.  But, does it benefit a CHILD to be exposed to it?  I thank God I am NOT that much of a MAN with my family and child.

Now, men are not the only example I could give, and there are many stories that others could give of their mother's influence on their lives that were destructive.  I can just point to my own experience to ask a simple question.  Is it a FACT that both genders  add something of value to their children, or is it a quaint little saying that anti-divorce preachers started saying to keep dysfunctional families living in agony, when they could find peace and happiness by moving on to others that DO benefit them...and not necessarily of a different gender or even a different sex.  If you don't know the difference, I encourage you to google gender and sex. 

I, myself, found a similar gender in the opposite sex, because I don't it into the male "box" very well, and ...well...my kids are not missing anything, and I couldn't be happier.  No.  Kids don't HAVE to have brooding fathers that punish and fight and command, and they don't HAVE to have examples of the moral failures some women do, either.  What they DO need is a parent or parents that LOVE them, and that is the key to happiness in the family and their development to becoming happy adults.

Let's Talk about Sex

And, now a blog about a very fun subject and a very fun act.... Sex. Some people shy away from controversial subjects, and that is fine.  However, it's kinda my signature... Saying what needs to be said by people staying quiet out of fear.  But, once you reach 40, the desire to please anyone's expectations of you goes out the door, as you realize you spent the first half of YOUR life living for others.

So, on to the subject at hand.  Sex.  This blog is about finding the path to happiness. Well for all of its critics, sex when used appropriately definitely bring happiness. In fact, I would call it an essential part of human existence in finding happiness. We are human beings in physical bodies. Those bodies have needs, and these bodies have senses that allow us to enjoy things or feel pain. Why should we restrict ourselves from all the good.

Now I'm not saying that people should run out and be whores or prostitutes.. Nor am I saying that any relationship should be based in sex or  sex with more than one is better. As with all good things, it can be abused.

However, lets be real. Everyone likes different things, sexually.  If you hold the belief that no one should be physical before marriage, then how are you going to know that you have anything other than a friendship on the other side? I believe that many divorces in this country today are caused not by early sex but by entering into relationships before they know who the other person really is and that includes sexually. I believe that many people follow this strict rules against being physical and spend plenty of time together and get to know each other on a strong friendship level.  Then, after the marriage, they are waiting for some spark to come in and bring passion and sex, when they have never lit the spark to begin with..only to find that all they really are is friends.

So I feel that it is important to be physical early and often in the relationship, before marriage and after marriage.

You can do it missionary..which is funny, because I don't know if anyone can picture a missionary having sex... Or you can do it doggy style or you can do it oral or you can do it with objects or masks or anything that your heart desires. Just do it ..as the nike slogan goes. I guarantee you..if you do it right..you will definitely be happy, and why shouldn't you be happy with the one that you love? When you get older, you'll wish you had those memories, instead of pleasing those who don't even know you exist.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

If Trump Really Was... Racist, Russian, Mobster, etc.. What Would He Be Doing Different?

I think the press and general society keep giving Trump a pass on many things, because they assume that he couldn't POSSIBLY be as bad as he is portrayed, and that is his excuse to be even worse.  The country needs to wake up and start asking a question, if he WAS ...any of those things..what would he be doing any differently?

For example, we are talking this week about Trump's words defending the White Nationalist violence against the public.  You know... running a car over groups of people they didn't like...the VERY same act that he declared as "terrorism" when it was done by a Muslim in UK but is justifiable in the US, because I guess..they are Christian and they victims deserved it?

So, the news of the day is that Trumps OWN business advisory councils made up of CEO's of businesses had resigned from his councils, after his words, citing BOTH racism and their lack of expectation that Trump will accomplish ANY positive change in business.  Get that?  We elected Trump to be President, because he was good at business, but his own BUSINESS leaders on his councils resigned saying he is a failure at getting anything accomplished.  So, why is he President, again?

But, to get back on point....the public seems to think that Trump couldn't possibly be a ...racist... fascist....Russian implant....sexually harrassing...gangster, even when he is defending acts of violence against blacks (who his justice department authorized police to abuse without repercussion), when he defends NAZI violence, when he gives Putin EVERYTHING he wants of America, when he says sexually harrassing statements of wives of heads of state, and when he encourages his followers to beat up his enemies and takes them out of office, himself.  Indeed, when he is under investigation, he fired THREE FBI directors that were investigating him and said the next one better not.  What exactly DOES it take for the public to GET IT?

So, just ask youself.  If Trump REALLY was not guilty of all of these things, why would he be acting against himself, and why are YOU more apt to believe the words of a liar than acts of one?  That just makes you an accomplice, and you will stand guilty of all that follows.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Labor Pains

It has been a busy and stressful couple of weeks, but I expected that it would be this way.  Women understand a concept, as relates to the birth of a child that I don't think tough guy men think about....labor pains.  This is directly applicable to where my family is in this moment.

Basically, labor pains happen after a period of expectation and before the new reality to come.  The woman has spent 9 months of preparation and expectation of waiting for things to change, and it has been accompanied by periods of difficulty or being uncomfortable.  Then, those periods increase to the point that something NEEDS to change, and the change happening takes over all attention and demands primary focus.

Thus begins the period of labor pains.  The woman, drawn into full focus on the coming reality, experiences intense waves of pain, until there is great joy at seeing the reality of their hope in their arms.

Similarly, I believe, the reality of my wife and I's lifestyle pregnancy started upon our marriage to each other and even before it.  As each month passed, we faced one element of the prior life falling away after another.  Things that USED to be important to us (just like a pregnant woman's previous party lifestyle) were not as important as the reality that is NOW before us, namely each other and the love that was standing in front of us on every date and event. 

Then, we got to this summer, and my career focus change provided us with the perfect focus change....step away from the past and into the future, and it has been a liberating experience.

Yes, we have DEFINITELY experienced difficulties in the last few months, from criminal behavior on the part of the apts we left to ex's to finding a new place to live and the expenses related to all that.  However, as these labor pains of change happened, we have found ourselves pulling closer to each other and more liberated to be ourselves....no longer required to be as people of the past wanted us to be but, now, ON OUR OWN away from controlling relatives and situations that defined us from our past, so we could define our future.

However, it is definitely good that those labor pains from the change are passing, and it is nice that we are FINALLY feeling the beginnings of the foundation of the new, ahead.  I am definitely looking forward to the days ahead, as we step out into the new realm of our own potential.  Full spead ahead.


Sunday, August 13, 2017

Modern Racism



As evidenced by the white nationalist rally and the violence that has followed, there has been a revival of racism and hatred that has risen up in the last decade.  Last decade you ask?  It has been around for centuries in these regions, you would say.  And, while I would agree with you that every place that we are seeing this pro-white, Republican racism in this day, it used to be legal to OWN black people (and in fact this protest was about the removal of the tribute to that slave owning culture)... I do have to say that it didn't used to be this way in the last half century.

I grew up in a midwestern southern state, and while I did a post about their moral failures (to counter their superior morals claims) in a recent post, I do have to testify in the other direction on their behalf with regards to racism.

I grew up in the 80s in Oklahoma, and above are a collection of just a few of the black artists and shows that we watched as kids.  I learned how to moon walk with Michael Jackson and do all kinds of break dancing.  I knew every word of several of Prince's tunes.  I watched every episode of Different Strokes, the Cosby show, and didn't just watch Coming to America but ALL Eddie Murphy movie.

Indeed, it wasn't just limited to black culture, but I raised my kids on the popular movies about an Arab called Alladin, as well as all color of Disney character diversity.  Robin Hood Prince of Thieves was a HUGE hit at the box office with a Muslim called azheem, played by the man that Christians would call "God" in several movies, Morgan Freeman.

But, ten years passed and suddenly they are all supposed to be greedy and angry races intent on our destruction?  Or, we were so easily swayed that we let a small faction of rich white guys tell us who we were supposed to hate to be truly American or Godly.

Well, I don't know about you, but I don't like anyone telling me who to hate, and I definitely don't like my OWN history and culture of inclusivity suddenly called into question by narrow minded a-holes.

We are better than this, and we should DEFINITELY be more evolved than slave owners were 200 years ago, or have we given up convictions and love in pursuit of war and power?  It's a question that everyone needs to consider.  As for me, I believe we are better off with a wider culture than any one of us can provide with our narrow perspectives, and adding to that diversity is the key to real strength.

Forward to Happiness / Godwitch / Run My Own Life Pinterest