Forward to Happiness

Year of You

We are a little early for New Year's Resolutions, but maybe I'm just a little late on the Chinese new year. Regardless, as I was dancing in the middle of my home with wine in hand and music playing from a prior playlist as I determine the next direction of the next one, I came to a pivot point in my direction that I wanted to share.

Recently, I have been enjoying my single life as a single person. I get up and go about my life in a way that I want to do and enjoying things on my own that I go to... not to meet someone, because honestly I am not even looking at this point. Someday. But, for now, I am just enjoying being me and being in the world and having fun and discovering more and more about what I want for my life now and in the future. It doesn't mean that I won't be social or make connections. I already am and will continue to do so. But... and this is the rest of this blog...

I deserve to carve out a life that I enjoy, doing whatever and wherever I want to do those things. I want to be able to stand on a beach one day, listen to music another day, get drinks another day, enjoy Christmas at Busch Gardens another day, and possibly run the Santa speedo run, nearby... ha... honestly considering it. I want to live a life that would be embarrassing, if I was holding myself back for that. I want to cook and run and bet and write and dance... just because I want to do so.

And so.... here is my personal pledge. For the next year, I am giving myself permission to do that. I am going to live my life without checking with others and without caring who might not like it. It will include aspects of my interest in religion, art, drinking, sports, music, and every other thing that happens to strike my fancy. Why? Because, it's my life, and it is about time that I remember that and act like it.

I could write more, but I don't want to. I want to get back to dancing. Have a good week.

Traffic Grace

This blog post is gonna wander a bit, while staying on point. But, I'm gonna stay with that post title.

I love to drive. For a long time, recently, I have not had much opportunity to do so, as I was letting someone else use my car which became their car when I sold it to them. So, it feels SOO good to be behind the wheel, even in a place like Tampa Bay with traffic that often feels like others are in an audition for Fast and Furious. Even then, my being behind the wheel brings me absolute peace. One thing that contributes to that peace in driving fast and sometimes confusing routes is knowing this... if I miss the exit, I will find a new way to get back to where I want to go. If i take a wrong turn, I can get back to my road. Whatever happens will happen, and I can adjust for it, so why should I be angry with myself or anxious about something that is easily fixed.

And, why should that grace be only limited to myself. If I can make this kind of allowance for myself, why shouldn't I allow others the same allowance? Whatever they do or did can also be put in the past and left there.

Right now, we are finding ourselves in a time after a major election. I was out there speaking of grace and connection, before the election. I am still out here speaking of those things after the electtion, even though others are rushing to inject poison into the situation on both sides. As I have been saying, having to be "right" and to prove others "wrong" has negatively impacted my life and my connections for a very long time, until I began to understand that being right is not as important as caring for the hurting. Oftentimes, those that are hurting are the ones that create new wounds, as Paranorman also says, "When people are scared, they can say and do terrbie things." And, those are the things that people want to remember and drag out as evidence to prove someone as being a bad person. But, is that how God seens things... or how he calls us to be?

Indeed, Jesus is most known in the world for one thing, taking the sins of the world. That's a nice little quip saying, but let's put it in applicable terms, as I have done. He took the BLAME, so that he could care for those that were causing pain due to their pain. And, over and over, He called us to turn the other cheek and do the same.

And, why SHOULD we take that path, if that path leads not only to finding fault in more and more to isolate us more and more, but it also leads us to feel we, ourselves, are no longer worthy of the love of God, forgetting that we received it when we were already unworthy. Rather, God would have us love ourselves, anew, and love others in their pain and flaws, whichis the only place that being loved is desperately needed.

I recently stood before the waves on a beach at night, which is something I love to do and is among the things I consider closest to Heaven. Being there, you are reminded that nothing really matters that much, after all. We are a tiny speck in a big world that goes on operating without us and will long after us. If we keep that in mind, maybe we can cut ourselves and others a little slack, whether in traffic or life, and maybe help add a little good into our world around us.

Courage

What does it mean to be ? How would you define it? Many would define it as being forceful, charging into the to stand for some great conviction. Indeed, that can be a form of courage. But, to be real many of those that do so do it because they are trusting in the vision of others, finding a feeling of acceptance and purpose, and other things that are in a very real sense .

Many years ago in my pursuit and exploration of , I asked a very important question. It lasted a couple posts and then was put back on the bookshelf of the mind to be mulled on and taken back down at the appropriate time. As I reflect over the past year of reflection and growth, I find that I have been living in that question, and now is the time to take it back down and open it up again.

The question was something like this... do we truly have freedom, if we do not have .. from our own passions and wants.. for others around us or our own goals to be met?

Indeed, in the past year, I have taken my mission to seriously, which required not only reflection upon myself but upon not only what I want but upon how my own path was serving in meeting that goal. That has led to changing several things about myself to be better at being myself, making geographic changes, reaching out to make peace with those with whom I had prior not wanted to do, and that I felt was both guilty of leading me to pain and was a source of control, keeping me from being me.

But... echoing back into the chorus of this question... was it really being ME to deprive myself of things that were important to me? Was it really me to lose important connections? Was it really me to refuse to accept loss and by thus doing to lose myself?

I have noted in my blogs over the months that there is and . I have noted that .

So, what is courage? To me in this year, , to , and for yourself and for others. And, I hope that courage upon us all.

Refresher on Some Learning Lessons

I wanted to do a refresher and reminder on several lessons I have learned in my year of reflection and growth, as much as a reminder to myself as anyone else. But, if they can benefit you, I would consider that worthy of sharing them.

Many months ago, I shifted my basis for guidance from an emotional one to one based in reason. That was the most important foundation for what would follow and all of the below. Emotions are good, but they can also be a path to destruction, as the recent is also saying and making clear. It is like a plane flying at night. It is dark, so the pilots have to trust their instruments. In many days, you have to trust your reason, always being willing to accept new information in that reasoning but following facts over fear as you determine your steps.

Building off of the prior point, it is necessary to learn to act instead of react. This is not easy and takes some time of practice and failing to get better at it. But, when you live your life as a reaction to situations around you, you fail to be able to determine your path and your wants based upon yourself. You deserve to be the leading character in your own story, as says. So, you deserve your best mind focus and guiding to determine your next steps, instead of letting that be determined by the chance moments in your life.

I find that it is important to take a deep and honest dive into yourself and see what you can improve within yourself, even if that is never seen or appreciated by anyone else. The point of improving isn't to try to satisfy someone else, or you are just doing it for them. Your improving should always be done for yourself to become the best you that you can be, and no one else will know what or who that is.

Most of society does not want to improve. They don't want to break from the crowd that goes about in negativity and anger but wants to be accepted by the people that do those things. But, that in my opinion only leads to more and more isolation and loss. As said in quoting , if you want to improve be content to be thought foolish and stupid. It will not be a popular path, and it will requiring doing things like finding resolution where there is conflict and accepting change within yourself and of others. But, choosing the easy path of running from challenges does not solve anything and doesn't improve yourself, either.

Finally, one thing that I have been making a concerted effort to do is to look for the positive in things. That doesn't mean simply choosing the positive option but to make your focus the positive around you and not the negative. If something does not work, there is no point in continuing to note it or focus on it. Put your attention on what does work or what leads you to where you want to go. Make that where your energy is applied.

So, I hope these help you, this weekend. I won't be blogging for a few days. I am moving this weekend and beginning of next week, so I will be doing that and binging on my way in the move. I hope you have a good weekend, and I'll resume my postings upon getting there.

Charity

I am not someone to promote or use the that much, because I understand that the original text was written in another language and more modern versions more closely match our language usage to be understood. However, I will reference KJV for a passage, today, because in this case it does make a case for understanding the original text better. The text is the , ..

"1Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 3And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. 4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. 9For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 10But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. 11When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. 13And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity."

This is the first version of the Bible that I came to read as a child. It took me years to first learn that the correct modern word was and not charity. But, our language uses the word love for a lot of things, so it can lose its meaning a little. But, I like thinking of it in the light of charity, as well. Why?

I work at a that does work to help the poor. It took me a little period of adjustment coming from the world of for profit accounting in to understand that while it is important to be wise and circumspect in how you manage and use your money, making money was not the goal. Being noticed and honored was not the goal. was the goal. That is generally what we think about charities.. what we demand, actually. They should not be trying to get rich but money given to charity should go mostly to actually helping other people simply because they have a need.

A lot of my life in general and definitely recently has been being done with tha.t understanding and application. I see a need, and I do what I can to help. It isn't done so that I get anything back or to be noticed but simply to meet the need. It definitely isn't done as a romantic gesture, as charity is not . Romance in my view is two people choosing each other and taking actions to be romantic towards each other on . One is not dependent upon the other, which would make it more of a puppet situation. Charity is to meet the needs of the world, and I try my best to bring that into my own world, within the boundaries of understanding that I must not sacrifice my own needs or in the process.

So, I just thought that was worthy of sharing, and I hope it benefits you reading and your world. We can definitely benefit to see more charity in our days, these days.

Proud of My Rays

I'm proud of my baseball team. Are they winning at the moment? No. We are in game 3 of the , and in this inning they are losing 10 to zero, having lost two games in the series, already. But, I am proud of them. Why?

Well, first of all, it is the best of the best, and they are not the first team that has felt the sting of being by their opponent. Many have, in fact. The , my team, has performed admirably this season, and even in this series has shown a die hard and talent filled spirit. The other team has just also had the same spirit. Does it take away from my team's personal accomplishments to have someone do better? I don't condemn myself in a running race, simply because there are people ahead of me.

I'm also proud of them for training hard, trying hard, and showing up to do their best this season. I have been very imporessed by the team, and I think they might just be the best Rays team that has ever existed.

Finally, I'm proud of my team, because they are my team, representing the place that I will call home. They are OUR team and are worthy of our support, even when they do not win the game. If we only support them when they win, what does that say about OUR loyalty and support?

I know that it is conrary to how the public and the press will treat it all. Many will be talking for weeks about every flaw and every mistake and every lost opportunity. But, I would not like that if the same standard was applied to me.

And, so... I am proud of my team. However this series turns out, well done, .

Love Thy Neighbor

The Scripture focus at my church that I watch online and will soon attend in person this weekend was the Great Commandments, which Jesus gave for everyone to follow. They were...

“You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments." | Matthew 22:37-40

That is often said and quoted in churches, so it is not a new thing to be said but saying them this weekend is, I believe, very important, as we head into election seasons around the world and thereafter Thanksgiving.

This touches on many different posts that I have said over the last several months, but I will bring them together in summary and apply them. But, first, I want to make a new point on that reading. Jesus said that the commandment about loving your neighbor is "like" the first commandment, so this is something that we should be doing with all of our heart, with all of our soul, and with all of our mind.

Jesus didn't come into the world and lead an army to victory, even if that was what the people were wanting. He didn't come to prove someone right or to make someone wrong. In fact, as I have noted, h literally took all of the blame in the world, so He could stand by the side of those hurting... he took THEIR blame, which also allowed Him to FREE them, because as I have noted people in pain are the ones that cause the most pain and giving them blame only gives them more to overcome.

What is our purpose in the world? If we want to cause peace, people must be redeemed, and it is an open question whether people still want redemption, even as we all must have it to be fit to stand on our own. Most of the world is geared to find fault, condemn, exclude, block, hate, etc. Few will put their pride aside to actually LOVE, and Jesus is the one that stands at the head of that line saying do not be like the world.

So, as we go into the election, do vote your conscience and convictions and care, but do not do it because you are trying to make anyone feel bad and do not do it belittling those that are hurting and thus attacking on both sides. Let's remember that this election is a period to show love, too.. not just afterwards when we eat turkey and sing Christmas hymns.