Sunday, January 16, 2022

In the Beginning

Ok... I'm going to post another one, today, that will undoubtedly ruffle some feathers, but I believe it is important to both the purpose of this blog and society in general.  

Let's begin with the beginning.  "In the beginning," beginning to be precise.

I've seen it said a lot over the last decade and have heard many post online that they don't need anyone.  It's become quite popular and trendy, in fact.  The actress that played Hermoine in Harry Potter popularized the notion that you could just date yourself and complete yourself.  Amazon commercial, lately, has had that as a running theme.. that women don't need men.  Of course, it undercuts all of their criticism of men that ran away from marital and family obligations, but let's go back to the beginning...

Genesis 2:18 says, "The LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'"

Hmmm.. so the one that MADE us said it is not good for man (or woman) to be alone, because we need a helper.  Further, the Bible goes on to say, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for out of man she was taken."

So, the very word "woman" that we use came from her being taken from a man FOR a man.  It is also true that man needs the woman, per God's conclusion (and I think he knows more than us).  Scripture says that "So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."  So, both genders were necessary to fully reflect the goodness of God.  Men are not like God's goodness without a woman, and a woman shouldn't condemn masculinity as evil, because it is part of God, as well.

You don't have to stay within the Bible or even Christianity to know this is true.  Other religions going back to the oldest say there is a masculine and a feminine, and both were necessary.  Even sun worship had the mother earth, and both needed each other.  Liberals, also, made a great wave of saying a few decades that "it takes a village" to raise a child (more than one person), and psychologists across the board say both are necessary for not only child rearing and relationships but the function of society, so saying otherwise is literally going against not only religion but science as well.

No matter how secure we feel on our island of self, and no matter how much we dislike compromise at times, it is necessary and is... in fact.. the will of God that we join with others.  If you are without, you should pray to find one, because we already know ... it is the will of God.


 So, you walk into a room and flip on a switch.  Why?  It’s because you know if you do that a light will come on.  Not to sound like a 4 year old… but why?  Do you understand the mechanics that go into electrons moving to make that happen… like why DOES an electron do that?  We have labels for each process, but in the end science says it happens because it happens.

The same is true for starting your car, knowing something thrown up will come down, and more.  There are labeled processes and principles that describe it, but do YOU know WHY?

Of course, the answer is no.  Most of us don’t give it a second thought.  We just accept it and act on our FAITH that it will happen.  Every day we take acts of faith.. faith that you will be paid for your job.. faith that the sun will rise and fall… faith that other cars will follow the same traffic laws you do.

So, how difficult is it, really, to apply the same to dating and relationships?  You may not know or understand the specifics, but if you keep putting yourself out there among others that are also looking, you can believe others will see.  Odds are that some of them share your values and interests, so eventually you will find what you are seeking.  

But… it doesn’t happen, unless you believe to reach out and flick the switch.  If you doubt and don’t, your faith will determine your future, as well.

Saturday, January 15, 2022

It Isn’t What It Isn’t


I created that meme in the early years of dating my ex wife and wish I had paid more attention to the message.  Then, I lost the meme, but I still had this FB share of a blog no longer on the blog with it.

You often hear people says, “it is that it is.”  When I first heard that phrase, I hated it.  I always liked to challenge and fix things.  However, as the serenity prayer tells us .. there are things you can’t fix.  However, unlike that prayer, there isn’t just two options… to fix it or to accept it.  If it is beyond repair or if the other person chooses for you or just a choice that does not work, you can move on.

The flip side of something being that it is would be that sometimes it isn’t what it isn’t.  That means that you need to determine if an option is truly what you believed or if it is a non solution.  This is VERY important when you are dating and considering someone as your partner, but it is also important in other areas.

Wherever it applies, if an option doesn’t work, that doesn’t mean stop looking.  It simply means that one didn’t work out, so you need to get back out there till one does.

So, keep your eyes open with true vision based on objective facts and not rose colored lenses or even shades for that matter.  Then, choose where is the best application of your energy.  Otherwise, you can waste years on dead options that will only hinder you both.

Tuesday, January 4, 2022

The Unforgivable Sin of Self Doubt

 When I was studying for my Bible degree a long time ago, we learned about the “unforgivable sin” mentioned in Scripture.  It was not something you DID but something not done.  Basically, it was when you believed yourself too bad to be forgiven and stopped asking for it.

This is true in romance, as well.  There are people out there for everyone, and most want to overlook flaws to find unity.  Moreover, many WANT to care for your shortcomings.  However, I’ve seen women and men over my life that feels they have too many problems and don’t put themselves out there.  Or, they do, but then don’t feel good enough to try… feeling they would waste the other person’s time and thus become a self fulfilling prophecy.

The fatal sin in romantic potential isn’t something in your past or your character.  It’s when YOU stop accepting grace and instead choose isolation.