Saturday, November 27, 2021

See Beyond the Anger

 I've learned a lesson over the past several months that is related in part to the confession theme that I made a separate page on this site.  This one is almost as important, but it's a distinct point that needs to be understood.

I'll lead off the post with some lyrics from a song in my most recent playlist... Hold On by Amin Van Buuren and Davina Michelle..


"I'm not easy to be around

But it's not easy to live without

A warm embrace

Familiar Face

A safer place."

Sometimes, inside of a bitter or angry or depressed person is a scared little boy or girl or a lost adult. However, our society that is all about me.... never looks beyond how that person is treating you, either doing bad or not doing good.  I have been on both sides of this over the last decade. After I found myself out of employment in the middle of the last decade, I spent years trying to find my foundation, self respect, and path to the future.  In that time, I was distracted... distracted from my responsibility as a man and distracted from my connection to others.  It wasn't just that I was busy.  I was lost.... I had lost my purpose for being and means of accomplishment, and that bled over into my life.  My ex would also have this challenge, and both were connected to our own challenges.  We were looking to each other for comfort and inspiration, and neither were providing it.. and that caused everything to implode.

I think a lot of relationships end this way.  I think it had a lot to do with why my first one did, as well.  We judge the other person by what they do or don't do, rather than seeing beyond the face they show to the pain that is inside.  If we did, we might care enough to heal that person and restore the face we are used to seeing.  However, instead, we let it build up a history of neglect that is hard or impossible to overcome.

This year, I got another job that makes more money, and it has both resolved immediate financial need and more importantly provided me a means of self respect and accomplishment.  As a result of this and a changed perspective of looking to the future over the past, I have been more at peace, more confident, and more caring to the needs of others.  Being freed from my pain allowed me to become myself, again.

How often is the friction we face from others and how they impact our lives a result of their own feeling of being lost or scared?  I've determined that in my life I want to try to see beyond the anger of others and try to rise above my current challenges to BE the person I would be if I didn't have them to others.  I hope this inspires you to do the same.

Sunday, November 21, 2021

The Answer is in the Question

I've said before that we often over-spiritualize Scripture to mean something mystical, when it had a practical application.  I think we do that with seeking guidance from God, as well.

I have money free this weekend that I could use to pump into dating apps or improve myself or such, without impacting any other budget goals.  So, I have been waiting to "feel" from God what I should do.. if I should act on that hope or just wait.  So, this morning I was waiting for inspiration, and I decided to pray.  As I kneeled there, I was having a hard time concentrating on it, so I asked for a clearer mind, at which point it occurred to me that I had not taken my CoQ10 this morning, which helps restore the concentration the anti cholesterol statin I take removes.  My point being that I would have known the answer to THAT problem, if I just voiced the question.

I think the same is true for dating, work, or a lot of other things.  A lot of time, if we would just voice what we DESIRE it would tell us what path we should take.  I mean... the unvoiced question of mine, "Should I use dating apps or make attempts," is answered pretty clearly in the question.  If I DESIRE to have a relationship, I should be acting to get it.  Maybe the reason I am not hearing God respond is that he is too busy doing a face palm and shaking his head.

This is like my comment disagreeing with Tobymac on Facebook, yesterday.  I love Toby.  He graduated from the same school where I got a Bible degree, but he has a very heart feeling and diverse soul that I appreciate.  Yet, this post was him saying that if we want God to open a door we need to take our hand off the handle.  That's like... the exact opposite of what the Bible or logic teaches.  Jesus demanded the participation of everyone that he helped.  God expects us to be making acts of faith if we desire to see results.

So, if you are like me and having been wondering whether you should act on what you desire as you wait for God to do it for you, I'd say.. you answered your own question when you lacked something you need.  God will have his part in delivering the result, but it's not going to happen without you there.

Thursday, November 18, 2021

Nov 2021 Playlist 4

 Nov 2021 Playlist 4 On YouTube and Spotify 

Happy Confession

 Ok.. just as I noted on my other blog, today, the value of having both genders in a relationship and how both play an equal role, this blog's post is about one way that makes that possible.. as well as a truth that will determine if you are successful and happy in your career an income or not.  It is the ability to admit you are wrong.

I've noted on other blog posts how my recent decisions to go back towards the male gender I have always been more strongly and my going back to a higher pay has both contributed to my happiness.  Well, NONE of that would have been possible if it wasn't for my ability to admit what I was doing and the path I was on was not working.

I've told the story before of how when I worked at IBM, we had to do online courses as part of the job... courses from IBM in things like communication, work skills, negotiation, etc.  Anyway, I did a course in the IBM AI that they were developing on the operating system that was also proven a chess champion.  When they were talking about how it differed from others, they said that it could learn from its mistakes, just like a human.  That made me laugh.. many humans don't.  However, the ability to admit something was a mistake was a pre-requisite to learning from it.

In our pride, we feel that we will reach success if we stick to our road and do it even harder.  Yet, my experience is that it is those that are able to admit failure the quickest that would find success sooner.  After all, Thomas Edison had to fail 2000 times to have a lightbulb.  If I had not admitted things didn't work in my past, I would not have improved myself and my situation to reach a better state, and had others that rejected me admitted their wrong and made efforts to make the relationship work, they would be receiving the benefits thereof... both romantic relationships and my oldest daughter.  She got upset after I paid for her college when I wanted her to get a job and went to live with my ex.  My ex faced the same cycle, until now my oldest daughter doesn't talk to any of us.  However, last I heard, she was struggling, which would not be the case if she.. like the prodigal son.. was willing to break her pride and change her ways, instead of living without.

I have admitted my wrong to relatives and ex's, and while it has not fully restored my state, it has brought me peace.  Those that refuse to confess must live with bitterness and isolation.  Pride is not advancement.  It is a poison, while those that admit their error will be the first to rise and succeed in a new way.