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Tuesday, August 28, 2018

The Evil of Testosterone (in both MEN and WOMEN)

I have realized something that I bet every doctor knows and every scientist but have been afraid (or unwilling) to say.  Testosterone is the cause of the destruction of society.  Here's why..

I was born a man, and I ... unfortunately ... live in a man's body, even though I have been able to suppress that portion of my body's effect to be more at peace with who I want to be.  However, it has not been an easy process, and I still face the damaging effects of living in this body. 

Even after I left my past of feeling I had to measure up in the dick contest of income production and things (and other ways), I still dealt with that past instinct coming back again and again.  Each time, it would produce new problems.  For example, I would MENTALLY be happy with being at home, but I would FEEL like I was failing by not making more money, even if I had physical limitations on being able to do so.  In fact, those limitations only served to make me feel MORE like a failure.

Indeed, even though I was happy to take on the role of housekeeper as my wife increased her work load, I was depressed at not having RECOGNITION or ACHIEVEMENTS on which to hang my sense of self worth.  But, here's the thing... that is a MASCULINE void I was trying to feel... i.e. Testosterone.

Then, for the last few months, I have been ok with everything.  I was happy to just be at home, and I moved closer and closer to being who I like to be with only random periods of self esteem issues.  Then, something happened, yesterday.  I missed my Statin dose ... a Cholesterol lowering drug that 1 in 4 over 40 takes.  As the day went on, I became more irritable and defensive and feeling more and more like a failure.  Then, I took it, today, and everything is rosy, again.

So, I googled.  As it turns out, Statins block TESTOSTERONE, as well, accounting for their calming effect.

Now... stop and think about that for a minute.  The makers of the drugs and the medical community, as a whole, designed a drug to help you lower your blood pressure and artery risk, and it blocks the hormone associated with being a man.

This makes sense.  Think about it.  What do we associate with being manly...

...Donald Trump's anger, pussy grabbing, locker talk, affairs, etc.
...NFL and other sports ATTACKS of players on each other, as men cheer.  In Roman times, it was fights before a crowd.
...using and abusing women.
...greed of having a lot of things.

So, being a man decreases your lifespan (which it does) because you are pumped full of a chemical that is literally KILLING you.

Honestly, if I could cut those parts off, I think I would live a healthier and happier life, not just for being in a body I would like but because I wouldn't be led to self-destruction.  However, even if I were a woman, it would still be a problem...ONCE a MONTH.  Ha.  Each month, estrogen drops and testosterone becomes more prevalent.  What do we know about this is when they are HOSTILE and IRRITABLE, and this increases once they enter menopause, which is why women become more hairy and irritable, as they get older.

So, conclusion.  Testosterone is the source of the ills of both society and families, and we would be much better off if we acknowledge it and block it.

Monday, August 27, 2018

Diary - 8-27-18

I've decided to start a daily diary on this blog, because I am not using it for anything, except the occasional product pick, and it is not associated with the other two that I am more active, daily.  On the one, I am writing under a female penname, as fits my nature, and establishing a feminine world on that page.  On the other, I am highlighting Republican threats, so we can bring this country back to FREEDOM.

However, as it true of the feminine kinda person I am, sometimes, you just want to vent and process.  I HAVE to do that, at times, in ORDER to work through it.

So, here we no order and covering a lot.

The writing projects have been fun, penning my female characters out of pieces of my own past and who I wish I could be, and they are really good books.  To be non-humble, I am learning I am pretty good at that.  However, I determined that it would take 3 YEARS to make any money book writing in the traditional way, so I self-published and am finding that is very hard to make it work.  Even listing my books at 99 cents, it is very hard to get them sold.  For example, I just released my second one, and with literally DOZENS of posts on 5 different social media platforms, I have not had a sale, yet.  The first book has only had a handful of sales, after weeks of promotion...some of it even paid. 

Meanwhile, I have started other methods of income, and they are starting to pay off.  For example, I am using Swagbucks, and I have made enough money in two weeks to buy a Christmas Tree for the family and do a little fall decor shopping.  It is really interesting that I spent MONTHS working my ass off trying to make money with book writing and affiliate sales to earn less in that time than 2 weeks of answering surveys and SHOPPING...that's right.  I buy things on ads with Swagbucks, and they award me more than I paid in points that can be exchanged for Amazon gift cards and etc. 

I was thinking about that, today, and it kinda made an impact on my whole a positive way.  My whole life, I felt that I had to WORK HARD to make money, and I was raised to believe that the more money it made, the more miserable you had to be.  When I was being raised "as a man" by my cruel father and bully guy friends and soldiers (which should have been a clue), I was taught that a REAL MAN sucks it up and sacrifices his happiness, so that his WIFE and KIDS would be happy, and...even more... we were taught that they should NOT work hard.

Stop and think about that for a minute.  We were raised to think that to be a true man, you would be eternally unhappy, so that others could be happy and never face challenges.  Not only is that bad advice for MEN but it is bad advice for raising kids and unrealistic for women, as women often work harder than men at home.

But, here's the added kicker.  It's BULLSHIT.  Take the last few months example.   When I WORKED HARD, I made almost nothing from it.  However, when I looked for what other ways there were to make money, I found you could make money doing things like shopping, watching videos, answering questions about your life, etc.  Indeed, at another one I have used Amazon Mturk, the things I get paid for are very unique.  I often go there just to see what I will be doing next.... making notations of heads in a crowd, centering buildings for maps programs, testing web searches, etc.  It keeps it interesting.

Further, when I was WORKING HARD with my writing, I found I had almost no time to be ME at the house, and I found myself back in the SAME feeling I had at other jobs of being stressed all the time and not enjoying being at home with the kids, which ... as a FEMININE person SHOULD be MY CHOICE to do for my life.  I SHOULD be able to take a day off at the mall or go shopping or go to a salon or whatever.  Or, has equality fallen short to allow me to live that life?

So, I have decided that I am downshifting.  Today, in one of my Swagbucks tasks, I joined AARP, and I realized...well, why not.  I have worked my ass off my whole life.  It is about time I retired and started living MY LIFE for once.  I intend to stop trying to find my next career.  I am in it.  I am a homemaker, and I do odd jobs in the process to earn money, as all women do.  THAT is my life, from now forward.

Dress Lily

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