Monday, January 27, 2025

Peaceful Trust

I was in church the other day, and I had a realization. 

Personal to my relationship, it occurred to me that when I was stressing over trying to find and make a relationship happen that was right, I had years of mismatch and failure.  Then, it happened when I wasn't expecting it.  So, the message was that that is also true on the other side of finding a relationship.  Yes, you have to do your part, but ultimately the God (or universe or chemistry.. whichever works for you) that makes it happen is the best solution to maintain it.  If you have stress along the way, stop trying to force it and rest. It's counter intuitive.  You feel it's necessary to grab the wheel and steer.  But, doing so will only get in the way and mute the magic.  Trust in your love.  Trust in yourself.  Trust that your true nature will ultimately reward you, if you stay true to it.

I think this is also important to recall in this time of political and economic uncertainty, when jobs can come and go and rights disappear.  Yes. We should do our best to give our best and believe in the future.  However, if or as challenges come, you WILL exit the other side, and you will overcome, just as you have in the past, to prosper.  Obstacles are meant to overcome for glory.

So, I hope this encourages you.  No matter the news or the threats, the only one that can take away your hope is you.  Never give that up.  As Thomas Edison said, "Have faith! Go Forward."

Saturday, January 25, 2025

Loud Happy

I am learning a lot being in my relationship, now.  I love that my love has so much to teach me.  We are learning from each other, and we are growing as individuals from our interaction, as we get closer to each other.  It has forced us both to realize things and consider things that previously wasn't really applicable or personal to our experience and now is relevant.  I could go on about the many things I've learned.. or things I learned in the past that wasn't relevant til now, but I'll just focus on one item for this post, which I realized, yesterday.

So, one theme of application that I feel we both understand and have been good at respecting is the balance between respecting personal space and sharing our concerns with each other and accepting care in those areas, where we previously had a history of dealing with things alone.  But, it's an offshoot of this that I wanted for focus here.

So, the other night, I was dealing with work related stress, and she had been dealing with her own stresses unrelated to me.  We both had comforted each other.  But, come date time, I still felt it weighing on me.  As I reflected on it, I realized what I really needed was not to solve the stress.  I had various stresses when we first started dating, but it didn't have the same effect.  Why?  Because, come date time I had (and generally always have in our times) closed all that down to just enjoy my time with her.  I'm protective of that happy time, and I'm not willing to let anything get in the way of it.  So... I focused on her, and the night was wonderful. And that's the lesson learned.  Problems don't always need to be  resolved.  They CAN just be replaced in our mind with happy things. 

There's a very good movie I've seen dozens of times and quoted a lot called We Bought a Zoo, but this part is new to quotes from me.  In the movie, the family had lost their mom and wife.  They were struggling to process the loss.  In one scene, the daughter complains to her dad that the neighbors "happy is too loud" from their party.  As the movie progresses, the father takes the kids out to live somewhat new to help them be happy.   The daughter is much cheered up by the new, but the son is struggling.  He argues with the father to ask what's so good about being happy?  The father replied, "That you're happy."

The overall message of the film I think applies to much of the world, today.  This first week of a new government has felt like a month, for example.  We all have our own struggles, and it is important at times to let them do their work in leading us to make choices for our better.  However, those choices are not to stay down in the mire and darkness.  They are to follow a new vision to a place we can be happy... and then to be happy as you enact the vision.  Happiness is possible, even with difficult things in your life, if you just change your focus and replace the sorrow or stress with something good.  And, I felt that is a lesson very worth sharing to others.

Wednesday, January 22, 2025

The Winding Road of Providence

This afternoon, I'm reflecting on the winding road of providence.  One year ago, I was preparing for my 2nd major eye surgery in 6 months, down in Florida.  

That time was very enlightening to me about the need for close connections.  Yes, I already missed my mom and sister and family in Oklahoma, but I was suddenly faced with the need to have someone pick me up at the hospital and had no one available or close enough to call.  When I was in recovery, I had to take care of myself, including having groceries delivered to me.  It was a very lonely time, and I doubt that I would have moved to Oklahoma without that strong motivation.

And then... I met the love of my life... absolutely perfect for each other and drawn together in a series of events that was perfectly timed.  As someone that had doubted Providence for many years, I was forced to concede the perfection of it all.

Yet...again.. it would not have happened had there not been a series of many disappointments and even harms to move me along like a rat in a maze.  Providence doesn't always gently nudge you.  Sometimes, it has to beat you down to realize your dire situation and drive you to look for and make positive outcome decisions for yourself.

So, that's the point of this short blog.  When things are going bad, don't just assume God is ignoring you.  God may be actively at work to motivate you..  IN the difficulty.  Not all difficulty means you should leave... sometimes it just hardens your resolve or purifies you.  But, it may be happening to make you realize you deserve better and to prompt you to actions towards it.

Monday, January 20, 2025

MLK Vision and Today

 "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, 'Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!?" Martin Luther King, Jr

It is a sign of the times that today we are both celebrating the advancement of African Americans and the inauguration of a President with one of the most white, least diverse cabinets in history...A man that is of racist ancestry and who denied minorities access in many past business dealings... a man who repeatedly said racist things in the campaign and vowed to erase diversity from public education to teach the white point of view, only.

But, what we need to remember is this.  When MLK said those things, it was not real in his day.  He had a dream.. a vision.. for the future and preached to share that vision and inspire that rise.  On this day, may we be inspired to maintain that vision and drive, no matter who is in office.




Saturday, January 18, 2025

Follow Your Bliss

I think it was a couple years ago that I first discovered Joseph Campbell.  I had heard the phrase "follow your bliss" but hadn't given it much thought til that moment.  It just sounded like a holiday card that seemed too impractical.  But, upon digging into it and applying it to my life, it became one log in the fire upon which my self esteem and direction was formed.

"Follow your bliss. If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while waiting for you, and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be. If you follow your bliss, doors will open for you that wouldn't have opened for anyone else"

So many people walk around saying to others and themselves that they don't know what they should do, what path they should follow.  But, honestly... if they are honest.. it's often right in front of their face.  They KNOW what they like, what they like to do, where they like to be.  Then, they will walk around feigning ignorance, when they do know.  They just often aren't sure they want to act on it.  But, if they don't act on what they want, they cannot pretend it is from ignorance.  It is a choice.

It is true that there's often obstacles or challenges, and many don't want to face them.  But... again.. when they don't have what they want, it's because they know what they want and fail to make the steps to get there.  Everything good in my life .. even those outside of my control.. began with dissatisfaction, followed some steps of effort to make myself able to receive it, and a commitment to maintain it.  It doesn't always work out, but it never works out without at least some effort.  And, you can't put forth effort without first identifying what you want... your bliss.  

So, my point is simply this.  Take time to look at your life.  Take time to consider what makes you happy.  Then, make the necessary changes to either bring those changes into your life to go out to make them happen.



Wednesday, January 15, 2025

Love

I thought of doing a post about narcissists, as everyone has some experience in the past of them.  I thought I'd do a post about healing old wounds.  I thought I'd do a post about hope.  I thought I'd do a post about new and fresh life.  But, upon reflection, it's already been done...

1 Cor 13:4-7

"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

I really can't improve upon that.  If that's not what you see, what you see isn't love.


Monday, January 13, 2025

Cause and Effect

This will be a short one.. just want to chronicle a concept.

Science tells us that things we see are a result of things we do not.  A force exerted elicits a responding reaction.  We don't always see the force or the reaction, and it may happen in ways we don't intend.  But, it does respond.

Many.. myself included.. have in times past limited things they liked about themselves or opinions to gain approval of others, only to find themselves now locked into patterns they do not like.  Or, they acted without considering others, which.. while courageous.. can blow minor things into major problems that could be avoided with grace or tact... I'm not great at tact but working on it.

I do not advocate hiding yourself, though.  Indeed, often times we cannot know how supportive someone is til we disagree with them or delay their gratification.  Then, we know if they are there for us or for what we provide to them.  That information is very important, as we determine the course of our lives.

I've grown over my years in all these areas.  I've made decisions with the information gained to direct my time and plans, and I am living and on track to a happy outcome.  But, it wouldn't have happened without my decision to be myself.. be happy, creative, loving, thinking, and in all other ways myself.  That cause CREATES the responding effects that helps me navigate my dreams to happy ends.

So, that's the post.  Be you.  It is the creative power to provide the outcome you need.  You don't have to be abrupt about it.  Just be.  The world will hear and respond .. as it should.

Saturday, January 11, 2025

Evolution

So, I'm putting this concept together in my mind, and I thought how can I best frame it to offend the most people possible.  Kidding... I didn't, but as evolution is a good word for it .. I'll use it.

People spend so much time in their lives trying to "discover" themselves and "be" themselves.  That is a good thing to do to prevent you from living a life based on others and find their own desires lost in the process.  However,  what they often mean is the self that they identified years ago and desperately try to regain.

In a Dr Who scene I've quoted SO many times over the years, we have Matt Smith leaving his time as the Doctor, and just before he ends,hr says this...

It all just disappears doesn't it? Everything you are, gone in a moment like breath on a mirror.

Any moment now, he’s a coming, The Doctor and I always will be. But times change and so must I. We all change, when you think about it.

We are all different people all through our lives and that's okay, that's good you've got to keep moving so long as you remember all the people that you used to be.

I've been prepared for times changing, but what took me more by surprise was that I was changing with it.  Things I once wanted, I find I do not... and things I thought I didng like I find that I really do.. in the right context.. with the right person... with the new me that grew up over time.

There are in multiple myths gods or statutes of gods with multiple faces. Indeed, the God of the Bible is one way in one section and another in another.  Some would say this violates the idea that God is one and only one God.  But... I can be kind and loving to someone and be defensive and protective against another.  Both are me, and what face they see is what face they earn from me by their actions.  Over our lives, we've crafted different faces.. different ways of responding to people, and what characteristics come forth depends on the environment... much.. like.. traits of successful species in the course of evolution.  When you are in a safer environment, you might find parts of you are free to exist and find things you like that didn't exist in a threatened one.

My point is simply this.  Be patient with yourself as you grow and change and keep your definition of what is "you" or your desired outcomes open.  You just might not have been prepared to understand and want them, til you find a safe space to open up and bloom new buds of change.

Thursday, January 9, 2025

Nod to the God(s)

In the movie Tin Cup, Kevin Costner's character is talking to Renee Russo's character and has this in the exchange about the perfect swing...

Roy:  Lowly and slowly, the clubhead is led back, pulled into position not by the hands, but by the body, which turns away from the target, shifting weight to the right side without shifting balance. Tempo is everything; perfection unobtainable as the body coils down at the top of the swing. There's a slight hesitation. A little nod to the gods...

Molly: A nod to the Gods?

Roy: Yeah, to the gods. That he is fallible. That perfection is unobtainable. 

Today, I was reflecting on how often it is that we think our best solutions come from ourselves... our strength, our intelligence, our efforts.  And, indeed, those ARE important to do.. you must participate.  However, I spent years trying to make true love happen by either wrongly putting efforts into toxic relationships with ex's or by strategy to find the perfect one. Then, when I had run out of hope in my own methods, God pretty much made the most perfect thing in my life happen without any of my strategy or any effort more than just participating in what was developing on its own faster and better than anything I could ever have done.  When Jesus was born, the Bible says God chose rhe foolish things of the world to confound the wise, and this simple perfection shattered my belief that we must make things happen to achieve them.  Sometimes, we just need to give a nod to God and hold on.

So, my message for this blog post is simply to counter some of my prior teaching and say to consider the possibility that maybe God is just waiting for us to fail ENOUGH that He/She can guide us into what they have prepared for our best outcome.

Saturday, January 4, 2025

Keep Planting

I actually had to give serious thought to whether to continue this blog.  For years, it has been a comforting and comfortable place on the WAY to happiness, but I've never been so happy as I have in the past month... like ... ever.  I thought maybe I should do a travel and food blog, instead... and I will likely do that, as well.  However, the more I thought of it, we are always responsible for happiness, even when we have happiness, we must take our parts in the providence of God to ensure that happiness continues.  We are ALWAYS on way to new happiness.

Indeed. Yes.  I acknowledge, gratefully, that God has been at work to bring the most amazing woman into my life, but I also acknowledge the efforts of both of us to make it happen.  We both saw the potential at the beginning, and both of us prioritized that in our lives to give it the proper foundation.  And, we both continue to emphasize it.

So many people sit around waiting for something good to happen to them.  There is some value in waiting for the right connection and etc.  However, we have our part in the story.  That's not a curse by God to make us work but a gift by Him/Her to participate in the CREATION of something beautiful and ... good.

So, if you are looking out on empty fields, don't curse the sky.  Do like I did a long ways back.  Pick up your hoe, break up the dry ground of your heart in hope, tend to your needs and correct your mistakes, plant seeds for the future and shower them with patience and anticipation with petition of the blessings and guidance of the maker.  Your days will be brighter just for the attempt, and you might just find yourself blown away by the blossoms that arise as the new happiness appears.