The Bright Side of The Dark

I think sometimes we miss the opportunity to follow opportunities, because our mindset is still stuck on things out of our control from the past.  When the reality of the situation is that there is a bright side to everyhing, even the things we think is dark.

I think a good way of approaching it is to begin with the statement... if I HAVE to, then... and then follow that statement with a positive alternative or quality.  If I have to exercise to get fit, then I am going to run races and buy workout gear I like.  If I HAVE to work, then I am going to enjoy my paycheck.  If I have to be single, I am going to enjoy my single life.  If a situation or environment not pleasant, there are so many ways to change that, as well.

In any moment of our lives, we choose our perspective and our response.  What does it benefit us to think on things that are lost, when we can use that same time to prepare for what is to come.  I know that some things and people were important in the past, and those memories are good to have.  I love my time with my kids, for example.  And, there could be happy days with them in the future, as well.  But, right now, they are not present.  So, if I HAVE to live that reality, I am going to enjoy my days on my own, til and if they are part of the story, again.

Life happens, and so much of that life is out of our hands.  But, there is so much that is in our power to affect and do, as well.  So, whatever has happened in your life that might feel dark only makes it easier to see and follow the light, until you find your own bright side of life.  And, I hope you love where it takes you.

Can You See Me In The Dark

I was going to do this post, tonight, BEFORE I saw that the new trailer for Good Omens 3 is out, but that just caps it off.  I love that series, and I am looking forward to seeing it in May.  It will be a short season.. one long series finale, but it is a good story.

If you have been a long viewer of this blog, you will know that I have from time to time done post series about the value of the dark.  Today, I saw a video from Lili Reinhart who I knew from and loved in Riverdale doing a video in which she said if she was a celestial being and was asked if she wanted to come to earth for a brief stay... just a blip.. and be able to experience human emotions.. love, heartbreak, and all of it.. would she want to go, and she smiled and said yes.  She said that when she is struggling, she keeps grounded by knowing that even pain is beautiful in its own way.  It reminded me of those post series that I have done about the beauty or the value of darkness in life.  In fact, I have spent YEARS contemplating that at times, which is why I choose to feel it all.. experience it all... live it all, and I don't regret any of it.  There is nothing that is good or bad in total, and there is benefit in experiencing all of it.

You might ask how I can value darkness.  I would answer that it is in the same way that God values darkness and pain.  He made us to experience those things.  He didn't have to do that.  And, despite the fact that much theology in various organizations likes to value being "blessed" or always having things feel good, that is not actually theologically correct.  God used the devil to test Job... supposedly after the fall, and the "devil" has continued to serve a purpose in God's plan and in Scripture, throughout the pages and in life.  How many passages talk about how those whom God loves he tests and that the testing produces perseverance... even as the Bible says that God cannot, Himself, test anyone with evil.  

It is not just a case of evil coming to try to tempt people away from following or believing in God, but it is also to temper and strengthen and grow, as anyone that does fitness for long knows that it is painful and hard as hell (word choice intentional) but is necessary to grow to become the best that we can be.

The problem is that in our society, those that are under pressure and struggle are often cast aside by those that don't want to even SEE that life is not as beautiful as they want it to be.  Yet... that's where Jesus lived his days.  That's why Scripture says that in the darkest place "God is there," though many of God's followers would never even be able to see Him...or us.. doing good where they can never go.

And, that is one reason why I continued and continue to say that I would much rather be condemned and cast out than live a sheltered life, because that's where all the other hurting humans would happen to be.  And, I don't need validation to actually do good and love.  If that's what you are after.. please.... stay inside the church walls.  You will get your reward. 

Respect the Pain and the Past of Others

So... this was actually the blog that I felt most compelled to write, earlier.  But, it is less rosey and is something I am working on in myself, as well.  But, as I am watching the end of the new Bridgerton episodes, I find myself drawn to complete the blog.  So, here it is.

We all carry around pains and challenges from our past.  In some cases, those pains can transition, so you are able to carry them in another way.  However, I do not believe that they ever truly go away.  I do believe that wounds between people can heal in a way that reconciliation can happen, even if that reconciliation is different than before.  But, I believe that it is only possible by respect for the wounds of the past and in such way that they are not repeated.

Lately, I have shown some liking of a show of a comedian that acknowledges some of the same cynicism that I have of organized religion.  And, I will do my best not to bring that cynicism to this blog post, but it is important to note that this cynicism is not recent and is long standing, based upon a long list of mistreatment and neglect by those in religious positions or those who were religious.  Again, I want to emphasize that it is not recent, even if it can affect my perception of those that are religious.  I do not want to allow my past to characterize those that are religious, today.. even when I see similarities or further things happen to irritate that scab from the past.  I can and have tried to ignore it and be overly optimistic, but that would not be real and based upon enough evidence to overcome that past.. not yet.  And, there are many such examples of contemporary religious hypocrisy and judgment out there in the world, so it is not something that is imagined in my mind.

I only say that to say this.  I have a past with religion that should be respected by someone that would care for me, just as they should respect my past with past emotional wounds... religious or otherwise, even as I should also be someone that respects that in others.  There is no.. well, they just need to hurry up and heal.. ever.  Wounds change you, and the person that exits on the other side is not the same as the one that entered.  It is not possible to just pretend that that never happened.

So, this difficult blog post is only here to say this.  If you care for someone, you will respect their full nature.. you will love the person that exited the wounds, not giving an expectation that they will return to being without them.  If they are dark or hardened, the cure is not for them to suddenly be rich of hope and to be able to be like you.  Care for them is to care for their darkness, or you never really cared for them... themselves.. at all. 

Light in the Dark

I have focused a lot over the last 5 months on the joys in my life, and I think that is probably because they are so wonderful and so unexpected and took control away from my cynicism and gave it to what I consider to be a divine adventure.  But, that does not detract from the fact that I have a LOT more experience in life of disappointment, pain, and having to recover from near total loss on many occasions.  I read the story of Job, and I am like... it only happened once?  That is not to say that I cannot have joys, now.  But, I feel that if God was preparing me for anything it was to understand the pains of many people, as I have experienced many of them... not all but definitely more than a typical human share.

I have faced medically forced financial struggle several times over my life.  I have had family in medical strains.  I have lost family to medical issues.  I have personally been unable to work with a retina issue that would cause 6 months of issues and had in this and other times in my life to find ways to pay not only rent but food with very little local friends or family support.

I have raised a baby by myself, while her mom had a post partum psychotic break combined with Mania, while completing graduate studies on loans to pay for not only our bills but a job that would provide financial security.  I have seen those children be swayed by a vindictive ex that I took care of in that time to be turned against me and is currently influencing them to not communicate with me, because she simply didn't like me and held a grudge for my leaving her toxic marriage.

I have been abandoned by friends and family and lost support for political positions and more.  I have pissed off people from both sides of the aisle for simply having a differing opinion.  I have a lot of social contacts at present.. at least a lot for me.. but I tip toe into the social stream from having had such before and lost them in moments or been ignored from them for being different.

I could go on an on, but I don't need to do so.  The moments of darkness that has been present in my life was accompanied as well by moments of joy and love and peace, often from the most unexpected places.  I have seen more compassion by atheists than many religious.  I have felt peace from acceptance of loss.  I have felt love by those that barely knew me, though family was there for me, as well.   One thing that I have learned in all the story is that I believe God doesn't always speak through the church, though God can, but often through others.  And, that message isn't always in comfort but is often in pain.  Darkness is important at times to prepare you, but it is also truth for most people and must be acknowledged to have a clear understanding of the world of many, today.

Don't expect light and joy and happiness in all your world.  That in my experience is impossible.  But, you CAN find light in all your days.  In my experience, it is better to focus on the light that you have than the darkness of lack and make the best of the days given to you.  That has led me to quite a happy future ahead and light... in the context of the darkness around it.

The Role of Darkness in Light

I forget which Catholic show it was that I saw, once, on EWTN that led with it, but a show used to open with a phrase that the light shines the most in darkness.  If there wasn't the dark, the candle wouldn't show up as much as it does... it would just fade into the background.

If you've followed the blog over the years, you will know that over the last year or  so, I began to talk about the value of darkness.  Even as so much of my light is love and joy and light in the current day, I still maintain that view.  Indeed, it was something I talked about over the years at different times.  In a book I wrote on magic years ago, I noted that in order for something to be magical, something else must be plain to have the contrast.

There has been periods of struggle and darkness over the years from one thing or another.  With hindsight, I can see many of them were meant to motivate me in one way or another.  Just one example began in August of 2023.  I was living content in Florida with some conditions that were not always good but were acceptable.  I would have stayed in that condition, left alone.  I was single and not making the amount of money I could and found pockets of joy in nature and a few friends and my child I had in custody periods.  I had spent a LONG time raising that child with much influence in their life and was fixed in them.

Then, in the span of 6 months, EVERYTHING I felt secure in was ripped away.  I was hit with a retina tear that became a retina detachment and would result in two surgeries 6 months apart that would remove me from work.  My best friend at the time mocked me publicly and rejected me.  My ex with mental issues would in paranoia and mania break my custody agreement and deny me my weekends and more... the only reason I didn't go to police was not to put my child through that in their senior year. Then, due to my child being under their influence, my ex turned my child against me.  Left with nothing, I moved near family in Oklahoma, taking a job that .. as it would turn out... wouldn't last long.  However, it relocated me to where I could meet the most amazing person I have ever met in my life and with which we both found our perfect partner for our nature and being.

Yet... none of that amazing find and unfolding life I have in other ways, as well, would have happened if I had not faced that total collapse.  If any of it had remained, I might not have moved to where I needed to be to find her.  Darkness was NECESSARY to find my light.

We can be stupid as rats in a maze to a God that oversees not only the world but time and knows us most intently than we know ourselves.  So, God needs not only the cheese but the obstacles and sometimes maybe even shocks of pain to get us to move to where we need to go.  I hate the idea of the shocks, but I have also been the rat that needed it.  

So, my point in this is just to say, don't always feel that you are far away from God in periods of struggle.  It can be for many reasons, not just to motivate you to move or change.  Sometimes, it may simply be so that when you DO face your magical moments in your life, you recognize and value them with the gratitude for which they are worthy.  I will pray for you in that journey, as well.

Flicker

 Flicker...

The candle wanes down down down

I drew comfort from the light, but now it is ending

What will I do without its light?

Flicker...

I walk down a path lit by its rays

What will become of me, when the candle is no more

Will I lose my way in the dark?

Flicker...

I watch as the candle takes its last gasp 

Takes its last courageous breath, and then no more.

And, at first all I can see is nothing.

Flicker...

Then, eyes adjust to a mystical miracle

All about me I see celestial lighting, guiding symmetry

Stars above and moonlit echo from below.

Flicker...

It has been here all the time

Every night I walked without, blinded by candlelight

And, now, I finally can see.