Courage vs Fate

"We can't say when it ends.  We never could.  But, we can choose how we live in it." The Old Guard

There is an old theme that runs though many films that I have become more understanding due to having lived through it, though I didn't realize it til I was watching The Old Guard, today.  It is also present in Supergirl that I plan to rewatch this evening.  It can also be seen in Hancock and others.  In the stories, someone faces hardship and learns that they can overcome it.. that they can overcome, anything.  That is an important step in the story, but it is just a step, and though many remain there there is more to learn.

The other day I saw an old meme that I shared in years past when I was looking at my Facebook memories.  In essence, it was noting that there is a difference between being nice and being kind.  There can be people that are nice but not kind and people that can be kind but not nice.  Let's put a pin in that for a few minutes and return to The Old Guard.  

It is a good movie about a group of people that were chosen to become immortal and not die.  In not dying but constantly seeing evil around them, it is easy to get jaded, and the longest living of them and the leader had become just so jaded.  She tries to comfort a new member, but the best she could say is, "I know this is hard, but it is happening, whether you like it or not."  That's that first step, again.  Acceptance and knowing you will move forward.

In part of the movie, the leader is injured, and a woman helps her.  The leader says, "You haven't asked."  The woman replies, "Your business is your business.  You need help.  What does it matter why?"  The kindness in that action makes an impression on the leader.

That's getting back to the difference between being nice and being kind.  Nice is just being civil and courteous and pleasant to others.  Kind is helping those in need, and the path to that is not always easy or pleasant.  It may take a toll on you, along the way, as it did for for the leader.  

Yet, even in her despair, she picked up an ax to rush into danger to help those in need.  She tells her team, "We can't say when it ends.  We never could.  But, we can choose how we live in it."

And that is the key.  As she also says, she was reminded that there are people worth fighting for in this world.  There are people worth kindness and care and help and our best, even if it the path is difficult and not the safest. As her team tells her captors in a scene, it isn't her time.  If it was her time, there is nothing you could do to stop it.  

So, in the time that you have left, before you come to your end, how do you want to live?  Who do you want to help?  You may be feeling your destiny is fated and sink away into self imposed exile and increasing loss, or you can pick up your ax (not literally) and say "Enough of this sht" and do your best to make your days count until they run out.  That is my plan.

Keep Going

Winston Churchill said, "If you are going through hell, keep going."  There will be times in our life where the path we are on is challenging.  You will feel disheartened and depressed about your current situation, even when you have a destination that you know will be good.  Indeed, the clearer the picture of glory ahead, the darker the path will seem to get there.

I can attest to that in different times in my life, including presently.  At present, I am uncomfortable and discontented in many areas.  Indeed, I have found myself wondering how I was led down this path from happier days.  However, there is always something to learn and grow from whatever you may face.  

We tend to think that God only wants us to be happy, and so good and evil are often defined by what "blessings" we have or "curses" we face.  Yet, I have seen in my life that often times pleasant and happy destinations come after difficult challenges, and those moments of joy are often temporary.  Happiness is not an enternal destination, but a life of happiness is a life of walking from one happy adventure to another, often though dark and scary situations.  

But, when you face those moments, remember where you are going.  Remember your direction.  Look around to see the darkness around you.  Then, keep walking foot in front of another.  Keep going, even when is tiring and lonely.  Staying in the valley makes no sense, but a vision of the future can empower you to get there.  So, look up and move towards that vision.  Before you know it, you will be at another peak of joy, again.

Grace - We All Do What We Need to Do

I've been in kinda a dark mood of late as I processed though things that I will not name, but I began to have more light in my processing (light in both meanings) from a very dark part in a very dark show season.  It was White Lotus, season 2.  I have not watched season 1, but each season is different and can be watched on their own.  I began this season a while ago but got sidetracked by other things that I was watching.  

First of all, it is not a positive and pure show.  It has amazing cast, but it deals with themes of infidelity, crime, drugs, and much more.  It also deals with things like hope, romance, self respect, and growth.  It is very well written.

But, anyways, in the final season, one of the characters says something that I found at first upsetting but then somewhat freeing with profound implications that I believe are very important for society to hear.  In it, one of the characters is presented with the possibility that her husband had sex with someone else.  She explains to the other person whose wife was involved that he didn't have anything to worry about and that maybe you didn't need to uncover all the mysteries of others, because you never really know what is in their mind or what they are doing, if you know that they love you Now, to be clear, I am not justifying people going around having affairs, and I do see the reaction as being calloused.   But, then she said, "I think you just do whatever you need to do to not feel like a victim of life."  

And, I mentally tossed that around and played with the concept for a while.  And, I believe, therein lies a great truth.  We all DO exactly that.  Whether it be religion or porn or living a bit wild or living absolutely pure and with devotion, we ARE all doing whatever we think we need to do to not feel like a victim of life.  We are all feeling emotional pains or struggles or more and then we find a path to feel balance and hope in the world, again.

And, now, apply that to others.  Here is the gem for society to learn.  Everyone in your life is doing the same thing.  They are feeling past pains and acting out.  They are responding to present pains and taking precautions.  They are finding ways to numb the pain and not feel alone and rejected and hurt.  So, maybe... instead of seeing how others treat us as a personal attack upon us we take the time to try to understand them in their own struggles.  No one is perfect, and we are all just trying to do whatever we can do to feel safe and move towards happiness, again.   

In my own life, I have made some strides to reconnect and make peace with others, but I want to expand that to everyone.  If anyone has ever acted in a way that hurt me... no matter what it was... I forgive you, and I am sorry to have added to your own pains, as well.  I want to apply that peace to anyone I have ever met.  You also had to do whatever you needed to do, and my hope is that we all find a peaceful and happy journey.. not in our perfection but in our mutual condition of needing grace for a life filled with moments lacking glory.