The Light is Still Traveling

I came across a short video on Instagram the other day and is included in my reshares, but I thought it had a great point that could be combined with another thing that I have referenced off and on over the years of my blog and is good to remember and a good reminder, even for myself.

The video shows the stars, and it says that we shouldn't see black in space, if we saw all the stars that were out there, because if you look in any direction you would run into a star, eventually, which would be light.  That light should be traveling to us and shouldn't dim, so why is it that we see darkness?

The answer is that the light from all of those stars has not GOT to us, yet.  It is traveling at an incredible speed, but it has a LONG distance to pass in order to get to us.  I thought about that, and I thought how true that is for our lives and life events, too.  It is sorta like a song in my playlist last month about when God says not yet.  Not yet does not mean no.  It means not yet... there could be stages of growth that we need to do, or it could simply mean that we are not in the place or ability to have it at this time.  The light of our future happiness has just not got to us yet.

The thing that I have used in the past to talk about this was a mini series that was on many years ago called The Triangle, and it was about the Bermuda Triangle and weird things that were happening there.  In the mini series, the events got closer together as time progressed, because the event that was causing them was projecting out in TIME as well as distance, so the event that was the source just had not happened yet.

Just like the stars in the sky, there are many points of happy light that will happen in our lives, and we cannot see them all at once.  And, I don't think we WANT to, really... why spend all of your life unhappy and then have all your happiness at once.  Better to be happy all along the way with one thing or another.

So, when it feels like it is taking a long time to get to one thing or that something is lacking or you are focusing on a dark spot in your life sky, why not be patient for that light to come and focus on what you CAN see and enjoy in the days of your journey.  While there is dark in the sky, there is light, as well.  And, that light is very beautiful in contrast to the dark and makes for a very peaceful and relaxing wait, if you just take the time to observe and enjoy the days along the way.

What's Your Trajectory?

When I was in the miliary, I worked on artillery gun lines, different ones from those that were towed behind other things and setup to those that were driven.  I was a gun driver for a while, before becoming first sargent driver and training room manager (during which time I also won solder of the month for the Batalion and Army Achievement Medal).  However, one thing that is true about all kinds of artillary firing is angles.  Some of my best friends on those pieces were those who sat in tents with computers and calculated the angles and elevations that needed to be used to hit the target.  The gun sargent had a device that he kept around his neck to help measure those angles to make sure they were right.

But, one thing that was always true was that your first shot was almost always destined to be a bit off.  You could try to get the gun lined up just right, but there would always be things like how level the ground happened to be or the wind or more that would cause slight differences that needed adjusting to get it right.  So, we would take a shot, and then we would adjust.  It was the same thing that was done for rifle shooting, as well.  There always had to be adjustments made, after you took the shot... sometimes several adjustments.  

However, several things were true that are applicable, here.  First, you had to have the courage to take the shot in the first placce.  Taking the shot wasn't easy or without consequence.  You had to stop and set the gun for shooting, which was a whole ordeal.  Then, if you stayed too long after taking the first shot, the enemy would know your location and would shoot and hit YOU.  So, it took precision, intentional focus, and determination to get the job done right.

Next, you needed to be willing to accept that you didn't hit the target.  Something you did was wrong.  If you could not receive that information, you would continue to get it wrong, over and over again.  So, you had to take the information and adjsut and grow from it to be better.  And, you needed to be patient to keep trying and keep learning.  You also could not see how you are doing, immediately.  The shot would be WAY out of visual range.  So, you just had to keep trying, despite not seeing the effect of the effort.

Finally, you had to be willing to pick yourself up after taking your shot, put everything back in travel lock, and roll out to try another day.

So, my challenge to you would be this.  As you keep trying to find the correct trajectory to accomplish what you want to have in life, don't give up, keep learning, keep trying, and be patient.  In time, your work will bear fruit, but for today it may be enough to just be happy that you tried, rest in nightly travel lock, and be ready to take another shot, tomorrow.

Positive Realism

When I was young, I used to rush into things or out of things or moving or more.  I was led by my emotions, and it sometimes left me broke and having to create solutions for my own choices.  There are still times that I rush, but in recent years I am trying to take my time and make reasoned and planned out steps, and it is leading to more respect and better outcomes.

In the past I have noted this, but I learned to love turtles in Florida and taking your time.  What I discovered in driving Florida streets was that if you slow down, the others that are rushing will go around you.  You don't have to match their speed.  They will just move past, leaving you in peace.  When you realize that, the stress of feeling rushed can disappear.  You control your own pace and life.

Slowing things down and making reasoned steps can be frustrating at times, because you really want to be there.. to fulfill your goals and live in your plans.  However, I am finding there are a lot of benefits to taking your time.  Just like above, you don't feel the stress of trying to make it happen out of thin air and do not have to pick up the pieces after a rash move.  It also gives you time to identify the best timing and method of making things happen and to not only get there but get there prepared to BE there.

Some will think that taking your time lacks committment or shows doubt.  However, it is just being realistic, and being real with yourself is very important.  Not all avenues willl work to get you to your destination, or not all timing will either.  Failing to be real will lead to loss.  Paths or timing that do not work may seem like a negative thing, but it is just information.  Information is important to plan correctly, and planning is key to making things work, if you can combine realisim with determined positive goals and not negative self criticism.  

So, take your time.  Hope is not in a rush.  You are.  Learn to enjoy the journey and make careful steps.  I think you will find much more success in your journey if you do.

Shine and Attract

We have an influence in how we want our lives to look.  That's why observation is important.  That's why boundaries are important.  That's why self love is important.  That's why reason is important.  That's why choices are important.  All of these are blog post themes of mine this year and often in prior years.

A person will show you what they want and how they are.  It's not always a case of good or bad (no one can be only one or the other) but qualities, needs, personality.  You should not expect anything else from them.  If you do, that's on you.  

So, you need to know who YOU are, shine who you are, and be clear to convey what you need and want.  This will weed out difficult periods of finding out someone doesn't actually like you.  Then, in time, someone will see you and be like... FINALLY and pursue you and never let you go.  All you have to do is shine your true you, and the universe will do the rest.

Keep Going

Winston Churchill said, "If you are going through hell, keep going."  There will be times in our life where the path we are on is challenging.  You will feel disheartened and depressed about your current situation, even when you have a destination that you know will be good.  Indeed, the clearer the picture of glory ahead, the darker the path will seem to get there.

I can attest to that in different times in my life, including presently.  At present, I am uncomfortable and discontented in many areas.  Indeed, I have found myself wondering how I was led down this path from happier days.  However, there is always something to learn and grow from whatever you may face.  

We tend to think that God only wants us to be happy, and so good and evil are often defined by what "blessings" we have or "curses" we face.  Yet, I have seen in my life that often times pleasant and happy destinations come after difficult challenges, and those moments of joy are often temporary.  Happiness is not an enternal destination, but a life of happiness is a life of walking from one happy adventure to another, often though dark and scary situations.  

But, when you face those moments, remember where you are going.  Remember your direction.  Look around to see the darkness around you.  Then, keep walking foot in front of another.  Keep going, even when is tiring and lonely.  Staying in the valley makes no sense, but a vision of the future can empower you to get there.  So, look up and move towards that vision.  Before you know it, you will be at another peak of joy, again.

Disposable Culture Post Matured

One of my FB memories I shared on social media was screenshots of a post I did many years back.  While I think it makes a still true general theme and good points, I do feel that I've matured since it and can do it in a more accurate and efficient manner.  So, here goes...

What's old, and what's young?  What is new and what's old?  A lot of these distinctions have begun to blur and fade, as the youth return to things that was popular in my younger days, and the older people can definitely be showing a lack of maturity and we see examples of that on a daily basis, it seems.  Age gaps in dating used to be frowned upon, and now there's reality tv shows about it and examples from celebrity couples.

So, my post must divert from how it was written, prior.  In that post, I'd suggest age was one factor in why people break up.  But, that aspect aside, the rest is ptetty sound.  What I said was that in our culture we are taught to look for flaws and not good characteristics or qualities.  So, it is easy for people to look for flaws and once found to use that as the defining item for the whole person,  disregarding the rest.  And, if that is the judgment standard, people will move from experiment to experiment, enjoying it til a flaw is found and then moving on to the next one.

But, I do feel that a few disclaimers must be made that I failed to note in the past.  While I do not think we should be looking for flaws, I do think we should be looking for love and respect and happiness.  Some situations are toxic and others are simply a mismatch of needs and abilities.  I don't say those should be ignored.  Some can be addressed and moved past.  Others are roadblocks.  So, there are exceptions to this post.

That said, we DO live in a disposable culture that looks for flaws and discards upon them.  Many dating profiles I used to see when I used the apps would read like a recipe of requirements.  If you failed to meet all of them, you were disqualified.  Yet, if you write such a list, you are basing the future on the past, and some of my best experiences have come from adventure into the new.

So, when the society pressure to find fault comes into your mind, keep in mind your own faults and maybe extend a little grace and show more curiosity, instead.

Reason vs Delusion

This last December, I got to take a trip to one of my favorite places that I have been, so far in my life.. Tampa Bay.  As part of that, I went to the Dali museum, and they were having a special showing of the life of Van Gogh.  As it progressed talking about it, it was referencing his growing mental illness and his loss of context with reality, until he finally killed himself.  As they were going though all of that, I was over there like.. wait.. what?  He was mentally ill?  Yes, I know he cut off his ear for a woman and that was bad, but he was just very passionate and emotional... right?  Right.. and that's the point.

Passions are a great thing to feel, and I am a very emotional person.  I have followed them into many, many life changes in my life, against reason and often against others speaking the reason.  I thought it was a GOOD quality, and I prided myself on following my passions... even if over and over again they would ultimately lead to pain... which of course they would, being against reason.

Passion and ideals are not supposed to be an alternative for reason.  They can work in concert.  However, when passion and emotions are not in line with situations that can last or are performed in a way and timing that is fitting, you cannot blame reality for them not magically working out.  Indeed, sometimes, pain is a good thing.  It can cause us to learn and to grow and to develop.  It is discontent that leads us to the desire to seek progress and take steps in that direction.  And, all of that is using REASON to guide, not how you are feeling.

People love to quote Socrates, as written down by Plato.  That whole school of Socrates delved into philosophy and ideals like beauty, love, and truth.  They would explore many concepts that are still to this day being discussed in classroom and courtrooms.  However, do you know what the end result of Socrates was?  That is not discussed in public, very often.  Socrates killed himself, believing that was being true to his principles.

So, this post has that point.  Yes, it is good for you to have emotions and ideals and to figure out what you like and want, and you should take definite moves in that direction.  However, you ALSO have to deal with the real life in which you find yourself.  You should not romanticize things that do not exist, nor base your budget upon hopes and dreams.  You base your budgets on work, and you work towards your dreams.  And, if something is not working, you learn and do something else.  THAT is the only way that you will ever reach the happiness that you desire, and it will take a lot of self discipline, telling others no, and patient and persistent choices to finally get you to where you want to be. 

You Can Do More Than You Believe

I noted that I was going to do this blog post theme a few days ago on social media, but I had a few that I felt was more important to do at that time.  This post is about how you can do more than you believe that you can do.  

I think all of us have had days where we were down on ourselves or felt limited.  I have those days, too.  But, over the decades of my experience, I have seen myself handle things and do things that I did not believe that I was able to do, when there was no other alternative but to do them.  This has caused me to remind myself of that in hard or tiring times.

The other day, I was tired BEFORE I began my run.  I have been training for a 5 mile run that is about a week and a half away at this point.  So, I have been running a lot.  This particular day, I didn't feel that I had the energy to do one mile, let alone more.  But, I remembered the old running saying that the first mile always lies.  What they mean by saying that is that your body will feel that you cannot do the run in the first mile, but after that you find that you can go much further.  Indeed, that day of that run the other day I ended up doing 4 miles and at a pretty good pace, too.

Another example I would give would be my time when I first moved to Florida, after a divorce.   I was on very limited money, but I was determined, as my child was living there.  So, I got a room in a weekly hotel that wasn't even a very good one.  It literally had bars surrounding it for security, and I would hear shots at times in the streets.  I didn't feel safe to be out, after dark.  This may sound odd coming from me, if watch me rave about my time in Florida, but that was just the start.  I worked hard, and I built myself up, day by day, week by week, month by month.  Within 6 months I was in a better place, and within a year or thereabouts, I was making pretty good money, again.  It would go up from there.  But, at the beginning, there were days I had to budget my meals and was doing it all by myself with no family or friends nearby.

Or, I could reference the time that my youngest child was born and due to medical issues with my ex I was pretty much my infant child's only parent for two years, while I was finishing my degree and had to pay bills and do the household needs.  I was getting like 2 hours of sleep a night.  Saying all of that, now, and looking back I wonder how I had the strength to do it all, but I didn't consider that at the time... I just knew I needed to do it.  

So, that is how I want to end this.  I don't know what your challenges are, and I know that you may have some doubts and can only see enough light for the stair step in front of you.  I will just say, take that step.  Then, you can see the next one.  Take it all one day at at time, and before you know it you will be in love with your life, too. 

Some Recent Thoughts

I was going to take a full month off the blog and social media posts.  However, I am allowing myself to take steps back out into it with careful (attepting to be) posts and shares that apply what I am learning, since I don't expect to be fully healed or changed upon the end of a month's time, anyway.  Life is a process... a messy and divergent process, and I hope that I never lose the ability to learn and grow within it.  So, I wanted to cover a few concepts and thoughts that I have had in this time of silence, without giving any personal applications.  I will be keeping my personal life (beyond things like what I am watching, reading, seeing, and so on), not because of things happening that I want to keep quiet but because I don't need to HAVE things to share or need to seek approval.  I hope to carve out more and more of my personal joys that will never reach social media posts but to stay special, even if just a moment I have with myself.  But, there are some things that I can share in a general way that I feel may benefit others.

1.  Live in the present.  It is easy to find yourself reflecting on the past, and I find myself doing that daily.  However, I am trying more and more to live in the present... to BE present in the present.  In recent times, I have started taking pictures of sunsets and taking walks and doing things that I used to do but have been too distracted to look around and notice things that brings me joy or to do things that I know I will enjoy... or try things that I may enjoy.  

2.  Take your time.  Life is not a race.  You don't have to be "ready" or force your life to be at any stage or appear like anyone else may expect.  They don't know your story, and likely they really don't care about your pains or your life growth successes.  Many just want mutual validation, which is why so many will give you advice that so often sounds like it applies to their own life.  You can have good friends, and I hope that you do.  But, I would guess that those friends would say what I am telling you now.  Slow down.  Take your time.  Learn and grow.  Have fun.  It will all unfold and happen as it should in the right time.

3.  Be critical of yourself... and praise yourself.  One benefit of taking time away from the public is to realize that you can be honest to yourself.  You can tell yourself... oh, you messed up there.  Learn from that.. and know you do not lose self respect by acknowledging it but gain confidence in your future when you are real.  But, while you are taking time looking at yourself, do not forget to notice how good you were and are, as well.  Reconnect with the good parts of yourself that got lost along the way and learn new things that you like about yourself.  In the end, how you feel about yourself may be the most important audience that you will have, and being proud of your potential is a great way to regain the swagger that you need to adventure into the days that lay ahead.

Ok.  That's enough for tonight.  I hope you are all finding peace in your lives and smile, today.  Good night.

Pace Yourself

I've never been a sprinter... part of being short and a little overweight.  It's part of how I got the bully nickname of 'thunder thighs" among others.  However, I had endurance, so I would run lond distance runs in track at times.  Do they even have track, anymore?  I don't recall hearing about it as my kids grew up.  And, if I tried to sprint, I might just hurt myself or pass out.  But, I learned that if I slowed down into a slower pace, I could go longer distance without feeling overwhelmed.  I'd apply this in running 5K runs, as well. In all those runs, most would take off in a sprint, but many would burn out and be passed by me, later.

The same can be applied to life, even though I forget it, often.  Most often, I run my life with intensity, driven to overcome immediate problems with immediate solutions.  When I can't see the solution in my life, I feel it is a failure.  However, most solutions that are long term take time to do.  

Plus, too much too fast is not always good.  I can definitely see that in my life.  When I tried to date or have romance or love someone, I always applied myself 100 percent from the beginning,  without even taking the time to know if it was right.  Then, when it wasn't, my love for them became an irritance to them.  I never got that.  I felt like one of their friends would mock them, saying something like...ooo someone loves you.. how tragic.  But, if it isn't a good fit and the gap of what we need and what someone is grows, the other one pushing it becomes a problem... or maybe the intensity doesn't allow enough freedom for love to develop.  Regardless, it is like sprinting above.  You begin with good intentions but shoot yourself in the foot by nor pacing yourself.

Recently, I began feeling prosperity coming in the kind of feeling that is almost always right.  So, I was doing lottery tickets, applying for high salary jobs and more, feeling that would produce it.  Then, I realized my CURRENT position and plan gets me there, just as well... just takes longer.  After my move and with my car owned and not on payments, I will be up to 900 over bills each month in Oklahoma.  Get that?  More prosperous in a poorer state.  Anyway... 900 x 12 months is 10 thousand over a year... in my current lower stress lifestyle.  Would I take a higher paying job, sure.  But, I still get there either way.  I just have to pace myself.

So, whatever you want, don't rush.  Take your time.  It's the best way to make sure you go the distance.  It reminds me of a signature I saw once on a writer group by an author.  She said, "Don't worry.  Don't hurry.  And, don't forget to smell the flowers."