Disposable Culture Post Matured

One of my FB memories I shared on social media was screenshots of a post I did many years back.  While I think it makes a still true general theme and good points, I do feel that I've matured since it and can do it in a more accurate and efficient manner.  So, here goes...

What's old, and what's young?  What is new and what's old?  A lot of these distinctions have begun to blur and fade, as the youth return to things that was popular in my younger days, and the older people can definitely be showing a lack of maturity and we see examples of that on a daily basis, it seems.  Age gaps in dating used to be frowned upon, and now there's reality tv shows about it and examples from celebrity couples.

So, my post must divert from how it was written, prior.  In that post, I'd suggest age was one factor in why people break up.  But, that aspect aside, the rest is ptetty sound.  What I said was that in our culture we are taught to look for flaws and not good characteristics or qualities.  So, it is easy for people to look for flaws and once found to use that as the defining item for the whole person,  disregarding the rest.  And, if that is the judgment standard, people will move from experiment to experiment, enjoying it til a flaw is found and then moving on to the next one.

But, I do feel that a few disclaimers must be made that I failed to note in the past.  While I do not think we should be looking for flaws, I do think we should be looking for love and respect and happiness.  Some situations are toxic and others are simply a mismatch of needs and abilities.  I don't say those should be ignored.  Some can be addressed and moved past.  Others are roadblocks.  So, there are exceptions to this post.

That said, we DO live in a disposable culture that looks for flaws and discards upon them.  Many dating profiles I used to see when I used the apps would read like a recipe of requirements.  If you failed to meet all of them, you were disqualified.  Yet, if you write such a list, you are basing the future on the past, and some of my best experiences have come from adventure into the new.

So, when the society pressure to find fault comes into your mind, keep in mind your own faults and maybe extend a little grace and show more curiosity, instead.

I Challenge You to be Challenged

It used to be just a publicly accepted concept that a liberal education meant one that included all points of view, just as a liberal arts degree was a varied degree.  I have taken college classes a long time ago, where they would ask you to argue a point of view and then argue the reverse.  The point was education was less about learning a set of facts and more about learning how to learn. 

Personally, I surround myself with people that have a variety of viewpoints.  Why?  If I look back over my life, I can see where I have passionately argued for completely contradictory points of view at different times in my life, and I have learned enough to know that I have a lot to learn.

But, in order to learn, you must be able to be challenged.  It is so sad in our day that so many have fixed points of view... most often not even their OWN points of view but ones that were pressed upon them to just adopt for social acceptance.  And, indeed, having an independent mind that considers things WILL put you at odds with your own groups in one way or another.  I will not lie and say that there is no risk to being your own person.  So many different groups in our society are run like a cult, and I have seen the effects of being in those groups and then questioning something the group believes.  They love you when you are their echo chamber, but they are not so happy when you are their challenge.  And, today, more people want acceptance than truth or even growth and progress.

But, I want to circle back to how it applies to us.  Have you had times where you are drawing a blank on what you should write, do, or the solution to problems you have gone over a million times?  Very likely, it is probably because you are listening to the same sources, considering it in the same way with the same outcomes in your mind or methods of getting to them.  That is definitely the case with me.  I found my life following the same patters, because I approached things in the same way.  If you keep doing the same things, you end up with the same results.  

In one of the latest season episodes of The Bear, a character tells the main character that he didn't feel bad about him having gone off to seek his career, because "sometimes to break patterns you have to break patterns."  It doesn't always mean choosing to leave a situation or a person, because you should be able to approach the same things in a different way, but choosing to be new, though scary and without security, will lead to different results.  It is how you have an adventure, and you cannot have an adventure in your own back yard.

So, for this post, I will just say that I hope you have the courage and willingness to try or think something new for you this week.  Rise to the challenge, and challenge your self.  I don't know what you will find, but you will find something new.  And you might just discover you like the life and the you that comes to be.

Be Controversially You

There has been several songs over my past playlists that work into this, but I think that it is time to say this, again.  It is very unfortunate that we have adopted a mentality that says that others need to approve of your way of thinking and feeling.  This was not something that used to be accepted, even for conservatives or liberals.  Yet, both have adopted the mindset that to be truly YOU and to live YOUR PURPOSE is to say what others should be like.

The really irritating part of this for anyone that has studied history is that this is NOT a new or evolved way of thinking.  It is the same old packaged mentality that has been passed down for hundreds of years... probably, honestly, as defense mechanisms in our genes to which many of us are just puppets.  However, let us take a few moments to consider it, objectively.

Would even you want your life to be decided by public discourse?   Would you like to be feeling that you and your lifestyle choices must be approved by a public of which you don't even agree with most of the time?  Who gave ANYONE else the authority to decide what is best for YOU in your life?

Many people will not understand, which is sad, but who you choose to be is not dependent upon the decisions of other people.  You are the only one responsible for your happiness.  If you ever faced unhappiness, you cannot blame anyone else without including YOU that made those choices, as well.  As for me, I applaud my interest and courage to try, even if it didn't work out to be the right choice.  That was not a failure.  It was a success in determining what does not work.

So, this short blog is only to say this.... be you.  Be absolutely and completely what you like and what you were made to be.  The world needs that, even if that same world will try to change you. Strike your true note, and be the happy person that you want to be, living the life that makes you happy.  Don't worry about those that cannot understand that.  Odds are that they don't like themselves, either.  Just be the amazing you that you are, and look forward and not back. 

Consistently True

It shouldn't be an offense to choose a party that aligns with your personal choices.  My choices has not been secret.  I am rather loud about them, as many know... I don't mean politics as much as issues, though they are more and more directly aligned... thus my point, here.  

I have spoken out to defend the LGBTQ victims from their bullies and attackers online for many, many years and have a child that falls in that category, who I will continue to defend, even if their mother works to turn them away from me.  I have written books about gay characters.  I have defended personal freedoms for gender, sex, expression, and have stood for diversity for many many years... or maybe my whole life.  I have opposed those that would tell others how to live their lives.  That overlapped into the conservative side for medical reasons for a while, but now those same people want to demand others be silent and obedient with the wishes of the majority.  I have watched as the Republican party has gone from a party of defending freedom in the world and fighting wars to liberate others to now defend the opporessors in the world's wars and remove freedom from schools, government, and public scenes.

In short... I cannot be true to myself and vote for the Republican party... not this Republican party.. and I am allowed to hold that conviction and make that decision.  Period.  There is ONLY one party that fits in my worldview, empathy, and mindset.. and that is for Kamala Harris, who I will support to be the first woman President, supporting equality which I have ALSO done my whole life.

Diversity

I think I have told the story, before... but it seems relevant to the conversation, again.  A long time ago, I was standing in formation in my active duty Army artillery battery, and pur gunnery Sargent turned around and looked at his unit in the battery and did a double take and then said, "man... we are racist as a motherfker."  I turned to look at what he was seeing.  The entire first row (each row was a self propelled gun) was Hispanic.  The second row/gun was all white.  The third was all black.  There were no exceptions.

We are seeing this more and more in society.  You have companies.. like those under Elon Musk (grandfather was an active supporter of the racist apartheid in South Africa that held down Nelson Mandela and the black majority) whose companies and especially management are overwhelmingly white and male.  However...less prevalent but I have gone into several restaurants and stores and noticed they were all black or all Hispanic or all women, too.

We currently have a white presidential ticket running against a multi cultural and gender ticket.  That's not an overstatement.  The white ticker not only is amazingly white (like... Putin Russia white.. how often have you seen a Russian not white), but they openly say they are standing for whites that they feel are threatened by minority groups and Feminists threatening male power.  Statistics don't lie, and the demographics of the group are a very narrow sliver of society's pie..  like 90 percent white and largely evangelical and male and straight (indeed... anti LGBTQ).... vs... a minority woman, married to a white jew with supporters from all races, genders, economic backgrounds, religions, sexual orientations, working women and stay at home dads... like.. everyone.

Indeed, it's not just a stark difference in contrast, but the narrow sliver actually hate the diversity of others and want to force everyone to be like them.  In schools, that party censors things that don't fit their perspective, so the kids can ONLY hear and see what they believe.  They aren't content to be straight, but they feel they must cure others of being gay or trans.  A party thar used to stand for freedom now flinches to hear the pledge of allegiance say "one nation under god with liberty and justice for all" because they don't WANT others to have liberty or freedom.. not IF it is different than them.

Very often... and often around elections but not exclusively .. I lose friends simply for having a different opinion than others.  I don't unfriend people or end interaction with others for political or other differences, but I find the reverse is not as true.  I also don't believe in hiding my differences or silencing my opinions.  If my "friends" are only going to have me around as self validation or an echo chamber, it's better to know sooner than later.

Freedom is accepting that other are entitled to their own opinions without being "evil" for having them and working together even when we don't always agree.  I'll end this with a clip from a movie that I included in a playlist a few months back ... about the trial of Larry Flint, when the courts approved the freedom to have pornography.  Take a few minutes to watch this and consider if you can really say, I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free.

The PERFECT Enemy

Do you know what I think is the unifying factor in mant of our mental and emotional problems that we have today?  Indeed, I'd say most of them and financial and other problems, as well.  I think it is the expectation of perfection.  It is the perfect enemy... because the enemy is being perfect.

Someone is depressed about their body.  What is the enemy... perfection.  Someone is depressed about their income or family structure or clothing or really anything.  What is the enemy... perfection.

This stretches into the realm of diversity in that someone has an image in their head about how others should look or feel or act.  When they confront many that do not look or feel or act like the perfect stereotype, they are bothered.  Is it the person doing something against them?  No.. it's just not that person's perfect society view.

We are not made to be perfect.  Indeed, the Bible Christians use says it is not possible to be perfect.  ALL are fallen, they say.  Well, surely then after accepting Jesus they will be perfect.  Nope..they will keep not being perfect the rest of their lives.  So, why do we keep using perfection to judge our lives and the lives of others.  Better to be good to others, which everyone can do.. saved or not..and be happy with who you are and accepting of who others are in a changing society.

Failure to reach perfection is not a variance in society.  We all do it.  If you understand that,  a lot of our criticism of ourselves, our lives, and others disappears.  All we really need to do is embrace imperfection in order to be more happy in our lives.